Grade My SAT Essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hi, can you tell me what you think this SAT essay is worth? Thx in advance</p>

<p>Assignment: Should people respect and tolerate everyone's opinions, or should people take a stand against opinions they consider to be wrong? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>I maintain that people should have the right to express their own opinions freely, without interference or discrimination, while I believe that these opinions should be expressed with consideration for others.</p>

<p>In one instance in my life, during my aunt’s wedding, I made a mistake that taught me a valuable lesson of being tolerant to foreign opinions. My aunt was getting married at 19 and everyone who surrounded her expressed approval. I disagreed. I thought that they were all wrong for allowing such a young marriage to take place. Instead of respecting my aunt’s and everyone else’s opinion, I bitterly expressed my own. I regretted soon afterward when the day ended with the lovely bride in tears. Lesson learned.</p>

<p>If we also take a look at the population of the internet, we will come to see that many debates and antagonistic arguments on the most popular sites circumference people expressing their own opinions. If you look at any video no Youtube, for example, you will see strangers violently arguing their opposite points of view. This sets as a paragon for why we should not hinder other people’s opinions and simply allow them to harmlessly express what is in their minds. If we were a little more tolerant, the comment sections would display actual opinions on the video itself rather than hateful replies to old commentators.</p>

<p>Expressing your opinion should be a driveler for everyone, but it is equally important to acknowledge the consequences of abusing that privilege, as I had done at my aunt’s wedding. If I had been more tolerant of my aunt’s perspective on marriage, the day would have ended happily. Likewise, if people were more open to different views, although sometimes unconventional ones, there would be less criticism and we’d have a sense of harmony.</p>

2

<p>You did a good job with the make a statement, give an example, make a conclusion outline. I don’t mean to say it’s inherently bad, just that it’s a bit overused. Try weaving in your paragraphs with smoother transitions. Also, “circumference” is not appropriate in this essay. Don’t use big words just to sound sophisticated- if it doesn’t make sense or would be better with a different word, the reader might get annoyed. However, you do express some nice stylistic flair and make an argument, so I’d say that this essay is an 8 :).</p>

<p>Also, I’d recommend checking out [url=&lt;a href=“URL for CA Abstract and Final Recommendations Web Site  - EssayCube.com”&gt;http://essaycube.com/]EssayCube[/url</a>]. It’s a newly launched site(currently in beta) for students to share their essays with others for review. Put up your essay in there and others will give you quality feedback. And while you’re at it, be a good sport and return the favor by proof-reading someone else’s essay ;)</p>

3

<p>Forgive me if I’m too caustic; I had a very critical english literature teacher who taught me to critique. So here we go.</p>

<p>On the 9 point scale, I’d give this a 4.</p>

<p>Intro: Bland, little to attract attention. Have some sort of interesting first sentence to draw the crowd in. The thesis is very wishy-washy; pretty vague. You need to take a firm stance one way or the other to be effective (Yes we should have total respect for opinion, or NO, tell them off!)</p>

<p>1st Body: In professional writing, NEVER use 1st or second person. NEVER. You start by referencing how everyone is respectful of opinion, then you state how you voiced your own opinion and how it was a mistake. You say “Lesson Learned,” but you never explain how the experience changed you to believe what you are saying in the thesis. After EVERY example, you need to have an explanation (ex: This experience reveals that if opinions of others are not taken into consideration and instead criticized by those who oppose it, the affected person will only in turn feel attacked by the opposition and dismayed that they are making incorrect decisions when, in reality, the decision should be left up to the person in control alone.) <–Lengthy but all-in-one explanation.</p>

<p>2nd Body: Again, don’t use “we” or “you.” The use of Youtube is not very effective becuase it is a non-professional site; reference a presidential debate or something bigger and better. Also, on the youtube part you state how there are comment wars; however, not every old SAT essay reader will understand that, so clarify it. And again, you need to further explain how you are right. “This sets as a paragon for why we should not hinder other people’s opinions and simply allow them to harmlessly express what is in their minds…” -->Because?</p>

<p>Conclusion: Don’t use our 1st example again. Conclusion should be a broooooaaaad finish to your essay. It should all lead to the last sentence in a flowing manner (which was a strong finish; however, take out the “we” :)).</p>

<p>Overall, the essay uses personal and informal examples to prove the point without explanation, which is why the score is low. This is the meat of the essay, so this is where the most work should be done. Get strong, supportive, and relate-able points and explain how they connect to your thesis.</p>

<p>This is coming from someone who got a 5 on Eng. Lit AP exam and 8/9 on ACT writing part.</p>