Grade my SAT Essay?

<p>I kind of realized after my intro that I had no idea what I was writing about but at that point it was too late to change it so I just had to go with it. I also realized after I made my thesis that my examples no longer worked and I had to just make some up</p>

<p>What motivates people to change?</p>

<p>Change can be caused by a multitude of sources, but mankind has consistently shown that seeking revenge is the most prevalent cause. Revenge and hatred brings about new emotions and reactions within people that they did not even know existed. The statement that change comes from within is fallacious; it comes from outside forces, namely the actions of others. Evidence throughout history and literature clearly demonstrates this.</p>

<p>As shown in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Wilson exhibits a dramatic change in behavior and personality as a result of the actions of Daisy. As a poor but hardworking man, Wilson is constantly working day and night, even when he is ill with horrible disease, in order to support him and his wife Myrtle. His benevolence clearly stands out from the other behaviors of other characters, for they all employ chicanery or other deceitful tactics. Yet despite his arduous work ethic, he faces trouble as his wife is killed by a distraught Daisy driving home. Almost instantly, we see a behavioral chance as his eyes turn red with fury and he seeks revenge. Taking his gun, he goes on a suicidal mission and kills both Jay Gatsby (who he things killed Myrtle) and himself, throwing away all value in his own life in order to find revenge. Clearly shown through the drastic change of Wilson's behavior following the death of his wife and his decision to seek revenge, the actions of others and one's sense of justice to reflect the same pain on others is the primary motivation to change.</p>

<p>Furthermore, this point is also clearly illustrated through events of American History. Benedict Arnold, a once resolute man with high goals of great probity turns to deceit in order to find revenge. Arnold started out like any other soldier, but he had no money nor other perquisites to help him climb through the ranks. So through solely his hard work, Arnold was promoted to the rank of First General within only two years, a feat impressive for those even with previous status or money. After leading America to victory in the French and Indian War in 1756 in the Battle of Saratoga, he became revered as a war hero and was heralded wherever he went. However, his affable personality and benevolence quickly changed once his brother was sentenced to death in 1773 for allegations of treason against the state. Arnold knew that they were false, bu the was powerless to stop the execution. Filled with anger and vindication, Arnold quickly turned renegade and revealed secrets to the English in the Revolutionary War. Thus, it is clear that the search for revenge motivated Arnold to change.</p>

<p>As shown through Wilson and Arnold, revenge is the biggest catalyst of change. Without revenge, many people would stay as they were. Revenge is without a doubt the primary motivation in changing people and their behaviors.</p>

<p>Yes I realize now that Arnold wasn't even alive in the French and Indian war and all the facts are inconsistent but I was just trying to make examples up at that point.</p>

<p>Bump </p>