Grade my SAT essay

<p>Assignment: Are people more likely to be productive and successful when they ignore the opinions of others? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<pre><code> A famous philosopher once said that geniuses hit the target noone is aiming for. If a man were to always follow the opinions of others and never to follow his own thoughts and ambitions there would be a stagnation of scientific achievement. Thus, for a person to be successful and productive he must follow his own drives and ambitions that allow him to prosper in a narrow world.

Countless discoveries have been achieved through brilliant moments of ingenuity that delineate the true nature of that man. For instance, Alexander Graham Bell was searching for a way to improve our method of speech. Few in his era could even begin to dream of such achievement, and it was his willingness to look beyond the current limitations of the era that allowed him to succeed.

Likewise, the historic trio of Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Raphael revolutionized the current state of art during the Renaissance Era. Michalengo's creation of the Sistine Chapel brought inspiration to millions of current artists with its majestic pulchritude and appealing aesthetic design. Like Michalengo, Leonardo did not follow in others footsteps he experimented with the artistic ideas in paintings such as the Mona Lisa and the Last Supper which brought him international recognition. Moreover, Raphael brought out the true beauty of man in modern Greek era with his sculpture of David. By following soceities ideals and conforming to these standards these artists would not have been born and would have been looked upon as just &#8220;another artist.&#8221;

Furthermore, in Herman Hesse’s Siddharta , a young monk achieves Nirvana through his own life. During the novel, he was met with choice of following the local Buddha with his friend Govinda. However, Siddhartha realized that true enlightenment can only be achieved through self. That is, one must find truth within himself and not the ideals of others. Embarking on his own journey and feeling the overwhelming influence of sin, Siddhartha was able to go back to the river, where the serene ferryman had once carried him across to attain enlightenment. By ignoring the opinions of society, Siddhartha was able to achieve the elusive and illustrious goal of becoming Buddha.

Clearly, these five individuals succeeded in their pursuit of erudite knowledge by following their own ambitions, hopes, and dreams. They were able to create their own insights into the world by looking at it abstractly and from a different point of view. Had they followed another’s ideals and beliefs they would have been limited to the world around them. Everyone is born a genius, but most get de-genuisized very rapidly by following society’s aims. To succeed one must look at the world with an innovative perspective that allows us to set ourselves apart.
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<p>Guess, and I will pm you the real grade.</p>

<p>9, maybe 10 I would say. But I could be completely wrong :P</p>

<p>5/6... on 12 scale, I would give 10 or 11. I don't think it's that great as far as to receive 12.</p>

<p>Whys: The essay is overall good structured, and there are some SAT vocabularies as well. Only "flaw" that I see may be on second paragraph which I think you could describe bit more. </p>

<p>This is definitely well written essay but I do not see any especial brilliance on it.</p>

<p>I think you have some good examples. Somewhere from 10-12 is my guess.</p>

<p>8 (maybe 9)</p>

<p>Hm, there are several spelling mistakes (no ' for the possessive, society), one run-on sentence, punctuation errors, for my test, too bombastic vocab, and factual error (David by Raphael !) The intro and conclusion are strong, the Hesse paragraph kind of wanders. Hard to say. Perhaps a 9?</p>

<p>im guessin a 11</p>

<p>11/12. Point off on the punctuation flaws.</p>

<p>Two separate graders -- I'd probably guess a 10. A high 10, because this kicked my essay's low 10 butt.</p>

<p>Yeah. I know this is old, but I was way too curious not to ask.</p>