Grade my SAT Writing Essay

<p>Grade out of 12
I wrote this essay timed 25 minutes and finished before time was up
What do I need to work on?
How can I organize my thoughts more clearly?</p>

<p>"Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority is, no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge-even if they are experts or leaders in their fields-makes us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct old errors in thought and put an end to wrong actions."</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Authority is not established due to it's perfection, no, authority can be very flawed. The pure fact that no one has challenged that authority is what leads to the permanent residence of fallacy. In history we have seen countries and civilization bent upon ignorance and immorality for many years, and it was only when old ways were questioned that reform occurred.
The evidence that authority has contained grave faults is illustrated in the past of our very own nation. The United States was founded in the name of hypocrisy with a Declaration of Independence claiming "every man is created equal" while the sweat of slaves made profit for wealthy plantation owners in the South. From the entrance of enslaved workers in the colonies, slaves and abolitionists alike marred it's practice and for many years fought for true freedom in the United States. Their effort and altruistic pursuit of justice was finally awarded with the Emancipation Proclamation and 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments during and after the Civil War. Though the United States government tolerated slavery, Northerners refused to accept this governmental regulation, ultimately defeating the power of authority.
The world faced ignorance for many years during the age of absolutism until suddenly during18th century, Europe began to think in controversial and edifying ways. The Enlightenment is an exemplary pinnacle of history when the reign of absolute monarchy was at long last brought to equality. Enlightenment thinker John Locke advocated natural rights and Montesquieu formed the idea of 3 branches of government to create a system of checks and balances. Soon these ideologies were politically implemented in the United States and France. Once again, the power of defying corrupt authority prevailed.
These examples of true life events teach us that we must be conscious of established authority at any interval in history. Because one governs does not mean one governs fairly, thus we must never be afraid to speak our mind and reject tradition or change may never come.</p>

<p>Ok great examples. But I would want to put more of why is this important after, “Their effort and altruistic pursuit of justice was finally awarded with the Emancipation Proclamation and 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments during and after the Civil War. Though the United States government tolerated slavery, Northerners refused to accept this governmental regulation, ultimately defeating the power of authority.”</p>

<p>You have great examples and excellent word choice. But remember to also write about how this ^ example exemplifies why everybody/ or most should rebut against any authority. The conclusion says it but a bit more of what you said in the conclusion in the body.
Overall I would give this a 12.</p>