Grade SAT Essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority?</p>

<p>Yes, it is important to question the ideas and decisions of people in authority, especially when we think that their ideas and decisions are not exactly good for us. There are some people in positions of authority who do not care much about the well-being of the people they govern: they decide based on their own self-interest, thinking about what they could do that could benefit themselves the most. While most people with power try to decide for the good of the people, their opinions of what is beneficial may not concurr exactly with what is really good for the people. </p>

<p>Most of the people right now live in a representative democracy, a form of government that is run by the general public, but the people elect authorities to make large-scale decisions for them. Thus, it is still the responsibility of the people to know what is right for them and find ways for it to happen. This could be done by evaluating the ideas and decisions of authorities, and questioning them if the decisions are not found practical or beneficial. </p>

<p>Currently, there is an issue in the Philippines government because of the alleged misappropriation and accused stealing of government funds that are from the citizens' taxes. There are some projects that were deemed unnecessary by the general public, while some others were deemed as overpriced. The citizens spoke up to the government, and the government responded by overhauling the current system of allowing each lawmaker to decide on his own project to a centralized project-funding system. If the citizens did not question the previous system or pointed out its shortcomings, they would never be satisfied. By pointing out the shortcomings of the system, the system was changed to a more effective system that satisfied the people better. </p>

<p>In countries, either presently or in the past, where people were not allowed to air out their opinions and their needs, the people are generally not satisfied. As a resulting, in many cases, the people rebelled against the government and there was a new government, usually a democracy. </p>

<p>While some people may argue that the authorities always know what is best, especially now, because they are elected by the people, I still think that it is important to hear what the people's opinions are. Even though they try to make the best decisions for the people, it would be better if they hear the feedback of the people to feel the effects of their governance from a regular person's point of view. </p>

<p>In summary, it is important to question the ideas and decisions of the people in authority because for us to be satisfied the authorities must know what we desire. If we do not air out our opinions, how will the authorities know what we need or desire?</p>

2

<p>Hi! I would give your essay a 6. You have some interesting ideas, but the flow of your ideas is a little incoherent and there are also some other minor issues. First off, it usually sounds less professional to say “Yes, questioning authority…” Take out the “yes.” It is an essay, rather than a question and answer. Also stay away from phrases like “I still think.” Try to stay away from a first person point of view unless you are using a personal example. It might sound like a stretch, but phrases like “I think” or “I believe” take away your authority over the stance. You have to sound like a professional who knows what he or she is talking about to be able to get a great score. Second of all, and more importantly, take a minute at the start of your 25 minutes to organize your essay and plan how many paragraphs you need and what each will say, so that you do not have some pointless or repetitious paragraphs. You had some good analysis of your evidence, which had made me lean towards giving you a 7, but the order in which everything was placed disrupted your flow of ideas. I’ll give you some suggestions and you can see if you like them or not. The second paragraph is basically analyzing your example in the third paragraph. So I would move the second paragraph after the third and possibly even combine the two. Your second to last paragraph should be incorporated in the conclusion because you may have not realized it while writing under the time limit, but you are basically summarizing your essay in that paragraph. Lastly, in your fourth paragraph, you have no evidence/example/supporting details to support your ideas. Even if you have a great idea, do not incorporate it unless it is directly supported by your example or you have time to write up another example. Instead, increase your details and analysis of the idea you already have at hand. Also stay away from saying “If they did not do x, y could not have happened” because you cannot completely assume that y would never happen, even if it seems very logical. If you drop the unsupported idea, stay away from first person, and improve your paragraph order, you could very well get a 10 or 11. I think most of your problems can be solved by taking a minute to organize at the start. You have the right ideas though, which is probably the hardest part. I’m sorry if I sound really harsh, I didn’t mean to sound that way, lol. I was just trying to be direct and quick (though it turned out really long in the end anyways.) But hopefully this helps!</p>