<p>I doubt that I would fly across the country or drive for more than 4 hours to attend a relative's H.S. graduation ceremony. Now if they were throwing a party, that would be a different matter ;)</p>
<p>Our H.S. has the ceremony on the football field, and anyone can come, but if it starts raining, it is moved indoors, and only 2 family members per student can attend, the rest have to go home.</p>
<p>Does she have a friend in a similar circumstance? Maybe the two of you could combine, agree to sit together and cheer extra-hard for each other's kid onstage, or go over to one home and have a gathering afterwards. Just create an instant sister, in other words. Your D might actually know who might be receptive to this, from her class. Although the big families are obvious and wonderful in a community, there are always people who've had to move there for work (like us) so don't have nearby relatives. You're really not alone in this, not even at your h.s. </p>
<p>If not, I think you can simply decide to be very celebratory. Go for quality, not quantity, of experience. I like the ideas about putting up balloons, etc. --so thanks to that poster, I've just decided we will do so here, since nobody's coming and we live far from relatives. A first cousin who lives among the uncles will get the attention, but, oh well. It's just the way it is.</p>
<p>Some time back, we offered our S host a grad party just for his friends, and he's happy to do it. I noticed that invitations are circulating now, so if you want to do one, choose your date and invite. Since we don't have the big family, we chose to schedule his on a Wednesday night, following the grad on a Sunday night. Our S told us that the big families with relatives tend to celebrate same day, or prior day, or following day. By midweek, a few days later, most of his friends are just hanging, so he feels he'll have no competition on a Wednesday night and they'll come to his. He was also tactfully grateful not to be held back with relatives, in fact asked us to do "nothing" for him at the house right that day or afterwards. He wants to be free to go to other kids' parties and eat with their family barbeque, etc. Older S also did that. If they know the friends, usually they welcome in another kid. (mine are skinny)</p>
<p>And we always get a "yes" from kids when we offer to take them out to a restaurant; just can't always afford all that. At the home party, they just want pizza and chips. Of course, no alcohol, all supervision, no need to even discuss it any more, those are our terms. He is happy with 7 or 8 people, and says it's better than a big party of kids which gets out of control. See what is on your D's mind, and try to give her something she'd enjoy, if possible within the same week. It'll be fine and she'll have it to look forward to.</p>
<p>I'd say, no need to mention it any more around your D that not many relatives are coming to the ceremony. She Has You. And the aunt, niece. That's NICE! </p>
<p>Either way, she'll take up your attitude. This is a great time to decide how you want the event to feel, take emotional leadership. If you're happy, she'll be; if you feel deprived, she'll follow.</p>
<p>Our S. is looking forward to graduation, but doesn't want any sort of party afterwards. Says he doesn't like being the center of attention. Fine with me, as I'm not crazy about parties or gatherings either (wonder where he gets it from?).
He loves to eat, though, so we'll go out or have a special dinner with immediate family here.</p>
<p>My mother and I were the only ones who went to my brother's hs graduation, and, although my mother had been sad, we found that it worked out well. There were some people who had relatives visiting and it seemed that all the attention was focussed on those visiting relatives, entertaining them, making a good appearance. The person who was graduating was just another host and the fact that it was supposed to be their day got pushed to one side, whereas in my family, my brother was the only star and he did what he wanted to do without worrying about having to impress or entertain us.</p>
<p>In our family, graduations (grade school, prep, college, and "winging") have sparked little family reunions. They are good memories -- even the divorced couples were friendly and shared in the fun.</p>
<p>One "hippie" kid didn't bother with his college graduation -- and that was fine too. No hard feelings. His grammar school and boarding school graduations were wonderful family get-togethers where everyone flew in from around the continent and were treated hospitably. The teachers/administrators actually knew the kids and gave them warm send-offs.</p>
<p>D's grammar school graduation was the best -- her teacher of eight years spoke with love and insight about each of her graduates and didn't break down and cry till she got to the very last one. In sharp contrast, D's public school high school graduation -- which, as it happened, only her dad and I attended -- was miserable. The audience was crammed into backless bleachers in the sun on a hot day and the speeches were inane, impersonal, and far too long. I'm grateful we didn't try to bring her elderly grandparents, who would have suffered.</p>
<p>So I guess my point here is that all graduations are not equal, and whether it makes sense to recruit out-of-town visitors depends on the specifics.</p>
<p>Now my youngest -- he's just decided to ditch boarding school and homeschool. It will be interesting to figure out how to "graduate" him.</p>
<p>And I thought those graduation invitations from my nephews who live a thousand miles away were just gift reminders, LOL.</p>
<p>Only my folks came up. I was fine with that. I prefer discrete, intimate affairs over the loud, screaming crowds with HUGE numbers of airhorns.</p>
<p>Overload your daughter with leis and flowers from her family who are so sorry they cannot be there. Sign the cards yourself if you have to. She will be walking around at her graduation looking like a very well loved young lady. Honestly, at my son's graduation what he really wanted to do was run around and take pictures with his friends who were off to summer trips the next week. Even his party was quick as we fit it in between graduation and grad night festivities. Enjoy it.</p>