<p>If your D and her friend do go, I would like to suggest a great small group tour company called Context Travel. They have offices in Rome,Venice,Florence,Paris and New York. Their docents are mostly younger and all have a master's or PhD level in art, art history,architecture, archaeology,etc and the various walks are limited to only 6 people. They pair you up with other people with similar ages and interests. They also have cell phone rentals available and have lists of recommended restaurants. The best thing is that they have a 24 emergency number to call just in case.
I would also recommend joining (for free) an organization called IAMAT-International Association for Medical Assistance to Travelers. This company has lists of qualified,English speaking doctors in many cities worldwide-I know they have several in Paris, just in case your D should become ill or injured.
Bonne chance!</p>
<p>My D has done this trip multiple times, alone, no friends. Her first trip was April of her senior year in HS, age 17. Last fall she spent seven weeks in Europe traveling solo, age 22. </p>
<p>I would think two young women traveling together would be fine.</p>
<p>I think an 18 year old in Paris alone is WAY too young particularly girls. Its not a matter of her values you have to worry about.....it is the other people who do NOT have those values. Plenty of kids who are good kids get murdered , raped and robbed by others who are NOT good people. Paris is a complicated place. She is 18. Forget about what other people do ((the other parent involved)) and decide if YOU think this is the right time. I can surely see a graduate from college doing this after having lived on their own for a period of years....adn even maybe taking a semester abroad but sending off two 18 year old girls by themselves does not sound like a very good idea. </p>
<p>In the end it should be you and her father's decision not ours, not the other girls parents.</p>
<p>Atlmom, plenty of good kids get murdered, raped and robbed in America too. Does that mean you wouldn't let your 18 year old D travel here with a friend?</p>
<p>She has travelled to England, Bermuda, etc -- did those trips have any unexpected problems? That is, can your D handle missed connections, lost luggage, dead cell phone battery while separated from group, purse stolen, hotel denies reservation, etc? All of these things would be much harder in a non-English speaking country. But if she's experienced travel woes before, it will be better.</p>
<p>MedJetAssist is a must-have. Secure hidden wallets as well.</p>
<p>There doesn't seem to be much emphasis on the actual 'friend' by the posters on this thread. I'd want to know more about that person. Regardless of the maturity level of the D, the personality of the friend comes into play. Firstly, if the friend is male, I'd definitely not allow it since it's just the two of them. Assuming the friend is female, the fact that the friend is 17 needs to be considered. There are practical issues such as difficulty for an 18 with 17 y/o actually being able to get a hotel room (assumedly this has been worked out) and potential other issues with the friend. What if the friend ends up using the freedom of this trip to drink heavily every night (not unheard of among students abroad)? It wouldn't be much fun for the D if the friend ends up being a liability. </p>
<p>So, I'd question exactly how good a friend this 17 y/o friend is, what the maturity level of the friend is, what the behavior traits of the friend are, what the resources of the friend are, and exactly what the circumstances of this whole trip are.</p>
<p>Everyone I know went backpacking through Europe for a GAP year.</p>
<p>It's beyond the life of me why a parent on this board (with I assume a child going to uni next year) would object to this. I assume you feel you did a good job and raised a pretty independent child, capable of geting into uni, so probably as capable to take care of herself at 18in Paris for a WEEK, right?</p>
<p>It's interesting, because I think there's agreement among everybody here that Paris is generally a safe city and, assuming the student is mature enough and nothing goes wrong, she would be fine by herself for a week alone in Europe.</p>
<p>The disagreements seem to come down to parenting style. In our household, we tend to be more cautious/conservative. I doubt we would support our 18 year old going by herself to a non-English speaking country if she didn't have previous travel experience. Our attitude would be "The kid is 18 years old. She has an entire lifetime ahead of her to travel...and, if she wants, she can even travel by herself next summer when she has a year of college, self-sufficiency and a little more maturity under her belt. Why rush things?"</p>
<p>On the other hand, many people here have obviously let their inexperienced 17 and 18 year olds (and even younger, if I'm reading correctly) travel by themselves with great success. That's something I wouldn't be comfortable doing, but is it wrong? No, just different.</p>
<p>Starbright--that is what this forum is for....discussion. Obviously there are different parenting styles. I myself would not encourage a daughter, DAUGHTER, who has not travelled abroad and who has travelled little without adults, to cross the Atlantic to a non english speaking country...for a week of fun for a HIGH SCHOOL graduation trip with a "friend" when it seems the big draw is that it is free. The poster's daughter may have a different upbringing making it more suitable. There is no one answer for all on either side.</p>
<p>Seen too many teen girls victimized, murdered, raped etc. (including a family member) and feel that a gradual extension of my long leash would better serve her to make sure she has good survival skills. Even girls with very good survival skills are victimized. They do have to be more educated and enlightened as to the type of world we live in here and abroad. On campuses and off campuses. Study abroad or just travel abroad. Each presents its own set of dangers and being naive only makes them easy targets.</p>
<p>18 year old girls who grow up in Rio, NYC or other big cities may have better survival skills than a girl of 18 growing up in a rural environment. That is what parents are for......so how you can say you dont' see how someone can differ from your opinion is a little odd. I personally would not go on a public blog and ask other people's opinions on this.....I would go with my maternal instinct knowing MY child and HER experience.</p>
<p>My Daughters have changed greatly since going off to college. I can say that although I doubt I would have encouraged this scenario at age 18 fresh out of h.s. given their background....I would let them go now.</p>
<p>Well I feel the need to chime in again. We've all had 18 wonderful years to parent, grow, protect, teach, mentor, mold, and instill values in our amazing children. By the time they turn 18 I figure we've done our job and they are now entering into adulthood and starting to take responsibility and make their own decisions. Of course I will always be available as a sounding board to discuss decisions, weigh the pros and cons, etc. (and offer my opinion, which I just can't seem to help). And I will be there to help them out if they get in a jam. Ultimately you know your daughter best and the two of you need to sit down and come to a mutual decision about this trip. I bet if you get her talking about the trip to you and ask her how comfortable she is with it, how good her friendship is, what her concerns/fears might be, you (and she) will learn alot about whether she's ready to embark on this journey, and the decision will become clear.</p>
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<p>I would hope that by this point it's no longer up to you (as long as they are sponsoring their own trip, of course). I don't mean to be offensive, but I find your "long leash" comment disturbing.</p>
<p>I don't see what's disturbing about Atlmom's post. My idea is that I would like my kids to have one year living away at college successfully on their own before I send them on trips abroad on their own. Tetrahedron-you are correct that if they are over 18 and have the funds to pay for the trip on their own, then there's not much parents can do to stop it.</p>
<p>Our 18 year-old Daughter just returned from her backpacking trip to Europe with her best friend (a 19 year old girl). They had a blast, and the experience and memories will last a life-time. They are both mature, safety-conscientious girls and had no problems AT ALL. They stayed in hostels (previously arranged with our help) or with friends, and visited 4 countries (they were in Paris for 3 days).
They both had cell phones and called or e-mail everyday to let us know they were OK. Yes, both set of parents were a tad worried....but we are SO VERY glad we facilitated the trip..... a good start to her "trip" to independence.
Our D is going 1600 miles away to College this fall..... we feel she is ready for college and we felt she was ready for her trip to Europe.
My vote of course is: let her go!</p>
<p>Tuition, your D will always remember (and be grateful for) your support of this trip. She may not express it now -- if she does, bless her heart -- but someday she'll thank you for this leap of faith.</p>
<p>There is no way I would allow D to go ( and by 18 she was a seasoned traveller). First, are they your points paying, or the friends' parents? I would not allow someone else to pay. Second, it is easy to say nothing will happen and it is safe. The riots weren't that long ago (and there is still unrest), and the French are notorious for strikes that can cripple necessary services. D, who is a savvy 20 yr old has been in Europe for almost a year, and there have been instances where she has had to use maturity and street smarts. And even the most mature kids can have difficulty handling problems. D's friend, also in Europe had her wallet picked in Spain. Friend fell apart, and D had to advise and handle things. She used her own card to get the phone number to call to cancel credit card, etc. Will these kids, if they have not had a lot of travel experience be able to handle these things? As to how wonderful Paris is, D went on a HS trip with teacher, etc., and they still talk about some of the problems they experienced with rudeness and comments from some of the French street vendors. The teacher had to intervene, because the kids were in shock and didn't know how to react.</p>
<p>I have read and re-read each and every post multiple times and you all have given me much to contemplate. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts.</p>
<p>To date I have no more details about the trip from friend's father, which is frustrating. I wonder if points can even be used at this late date?</p>
<p>To answer some of your questions....My dd will be entering college 500 miles away from home in August. Ane I trust her to make good decisions. Not sure how she would handle emergency's in Paris as several of you pointed out. I myself have experienced instances where foreigners can "not speak Engllish" when convenient. </p>
<p>Her friend has multiple residences, one of which is in NYC, so she probably has more city experience than my dd. (we live in a suburb of NYC) Though more savy than my dd, she also would probably take more risks and you all have made me realize that perhaps I am unsure about the friend. Certainly my dd has been raised with more restrictions. Dd claims I am too overprotective.</p>
<p>So I continue to ponder and wait more details about the trip....husband says ask your mother as we are in the middle of divorce. So no support there.</p>
<p>Thanks again everyone. I'll keep you posted on the big decision.</p>
<p>Ok I have to revive this thread as I finally have the details. Just found out today that the accommodations will be......a Youth hostel. The reviews online don't sound good, dodgy neighborhood, bugs and dirty rooms. Some sound worse than others. Can any CC's speak from experience about this option? As always, I appreciate and welcome your thoughts.</p>
<p>AM77 - you do not state the name of the youth hostel or where it is located in Paris. Have you checked out the Lonely Planet website? Frommers.com and Fodor.com also have forums where you can post questions. You might want to check all three of those sites.</p>
<p>If your D does go my D who is an ardent Francophile has some advice. Number one complaint - Americans talk too loudly on the Metro and are uncomfortable in close quarters (personal bubble of space will have to be much, much smaller). Americans in cafes also tend to be noisy in their conversation. Make certain your D observes the conversational level of the individuals she is around and matches their decibel level.</p>
<p>The French appreciate it when you try to speak their language even if you are not fluent - learn some key phrases like "thank you," "Please," "where is....," etc.</p>
<p>Don't dress like an American - in other words no fanny pack, no white athletic shoes, etc. My D was most flattered when French natives assumed she was French - that is, until she opened her mouth and they heard her accent!</p>
<p>If anyone in your family served in World War I or World War II in France, the French are most appreciative of the loss many American families suffered. There are groups of French citizens that volunteer their time to tend to the graves of American military personnel buried in France. Mention of your relative who is buried in one of the many military cemeteries often elicits a hug and sincere thanks. </p>
<p>Paris is a major metropolitan area. Make certain your D and her friend know the areas that are safe and stick to those. If they are staying in an unsafe area I would look for a youth hostel or low cost hotel that is in a safer neighborhood. </p>
<p>Find a local internet cafe, laundry, grocery stall, etc. Develop relationships with the individuals at these establishments. My D told me of the complete stranger who helped her figure out how to use the washing machine and the internet cafe owner who always asked where she had been if she missed coming in to check her email.</p>
<p>I'd treat the online reviews of hostels with a lot of respect. Do keep in mind that people with bad experiences are more likely to post (out of frustration), than people with unremarkable experiences -- so I wouldn't freak out over one or two bad reviews. But check the dates and look at the number of reviews -- try to get a sense of the "majority" opinion if you have a large number of reviews. </p>
<p>Also, would they be booking into their own room at the hostel, or in a group, dorm-style room?</p>
<p>I was under the impression that with the points they could get a hotel room. I am not so sure a hostel is the best option for an inexperienced traveler, at least not for more than one or two nights. </p>
<p>Paris is beautiful but a bad experience at a hostel would spoil the experience. So while the offer seemed great at first, given the delays in getting details from friend's dad and the obvious risks for the accommodations, I'm now leaning on the side of the parents who say no. (or maybe the knights who say ni?) </p>
<p>Anyway.... it sounds like a great idea but a terrible plan. And it really is all in the planning. </p>
<p>My d. wanted to backpack through Europe with her boyfriend the summer after high school, and I honestly would have let her go -- but there's a difference when the backpack/hostel idea originates with the traveler, and a male companion is, well, male. (That trip got nixed when when my d. decided that she wanted to attend a pricey college instead -- she spent the summer working retail instead -- such are the travails of the middle class).</p>
<p>AM77 - just looked at the Paris Forum in the TripAdvisor website. Take a look at posts by someone named TravelNutty. They have over 6,000 posts and all appear to be about Paris. They might be a good source for finding a place for your D and her friend to stay.</p>