<p>I am so angry once again at my son's university, and at my son. I literally had to boot my son out of the house last night to get him to go back to his school 6 hours away. scenario: he did a co-op this fall, required by his school. It went horribly. He is in culinary, and the chef at the restaurant was horrible to him. I actually got to the point where I met with this chef, wondering if my son was just exaggerating. well, no, he wasn't. The guy was a class A jerk. He refused to let my son complete any of the assignments he was to do, such as develop a special to be served during one evening. my son was kept as a prep chef the entire time, my guess to save money on hiring one. my son contacted his advisor, who told him to just get through it, do what you can, and develop the recipe at home, which he did. So now, what happened was my son received an F on this assignment. The F was posted shortly after christmas break began, and apparently everybody disappears at Johnson and Wales during this break. There was nobody to discuss this with, no warning as to why an F would be given, nothing. No communication at all. So.......my son feels that since he will not ever do another co-op, he will not go back. So I boot his butt out. I call the teacher this morning, and apparently there was a missing paper, (we are talking about a project that I overnight mailed myself). He asssures me that as soon as the paper is received, he will change the grade. So I start screaming at him how rude it is to give a kid an F, then disappear off the planet so he cannot find out what is going on or why there was an F, and why didn't he just communicate with him that he never received the paper and what is going on, since we did have communication previous to this about the experience. Am I just nuts? When I went to school, our professors were involved, they cared, they talked to us and asked us when things weren't done and if there was a problem. you want to know why the helicopter parents are fluttering about? It's because of this kind of non-caring, mean spirited garbage that they subject these kids to. Not once, no, not once did my son's co-op advisor ever communicate with the horrible chef to try to make a better situation. He just let it go on much to my son's horror, and mine. If I could take out full page ads in every paper about my son's experiences at this school, I would. And don't even get me started about the letter of complaint I wrote to the president, and the completely non-responsive letter he sent me back, ("I spoke with my senior level management, and they have a different take on your experiences", well of course they do, do you honestly think they would say they callled me names and couldn't give a crap about the students? it was so ridiculous). all this and more for a mere $32,000 per year. I have fire coming out of my head today, and I am starting to wonder if colleges can be sued to return money due to complete lack of support and education. (no, don't get me started on my son's "academics" either, basic algebra for a calculus 3 kind of kid, with no other options available). grrrrr</p>
<p>wow amith !!!
Sounds like things have gone from bad to worse. I am assuming you are venting with us but that you were able to suck it up and be diplomatic with those pin-heads.</p>
<p>I kinda can't blame your son for not wanting to go back, after all you guys have been through these past 2 yrs. Any chance your son will look into transferring?? Is it too late? </p>
<p>You might consider copying the head of the Culinary dept on all correspondence with the professor who was of no help and then gave the "F". I assume when he tracks down the "missing" paper (translation: he didn't bother to pick it up, or he misplaced it...)the grade can be fixed, and then you can decide if your s. wants to cut bait and transfer elsewhere.</p>
<p>Amith-- I sympathize, I really do. Your frustration and obvious love for your son comes through every post.</p>
<p>However-- and I say this very respectfully-- assuming your son is 18, you really have no business contacting his instructors, his boss, meeting with his coop supervisor, etc. If your intent is to teach your son coping skills, I think the end result (you're frustrated, he doesn't want to go back, his coop experience was a bust) seems to indicate that your involvement to this degree just isn't working. It's driving you nuts and doesn't seem to be getting him anywhere. How can he possibly transition from this school into a meaningful adult life where he negotiates deadlines and deals with cranky bosses, files his taxes, etc. with you holding his hand and doing the dirty work for him now????</p>
<p>I think you need to seperate your feelings that the school is mismanaged and is taking your hard-earned cash and wasting it, and evaluate whether this program is a good match for your son's needs. If it's not, then he needs to take control of the situation and explore alternatives.... time off, a fulltime job, transfer to a different school, etc. If he thinks the program is working for him, then for your own mental health, you need to back off a bit. How and why you ended up overnight mailing a college assignment to an instructor is a story that can have no plausible explanation... unless you're the person enrolled at this school and your taking on a parent's persona to get advice.</p>
<p>Your posts always seem to be filled with such love and caring for your son-- I know you're a good person and a great mom, but it might be time to let go, stop agonizing over suing the school, and let your son take over his education going forward.</p>
<p>$32,000?</p>
<p>Oh boy. Oh boy.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>This just sounds like such an awful experience for your son. Is it wise for him to go back? Is there anything positive enough at this school to outweigh all the negatives?</p>
<p>Just lending another sympathetic ear, amith. I have had my disappointments this year with Katrina/Tulane/Engineering craziness. But they pale in comparison to the frustrations you are experiencing. I can feel how hard it is to navigate the 'when to step back/when to helicopter in' maelstrom when your S faces the roadblocks you outline.</p>
<p>Blood-boiling, elevated stress levels are such a <em>physical</em> as well as mental experience in the midst of this type of unforgivably frustrating behavior on the part of an institution which is supposed to be educating and grooming your son. It is nearly impossible to sit still. Action often seems the only way to alleviate the anxiety. </p>
<p>I do think blossom speaks eloquently. When I was reeling weeks ago with Tulane's axing of Engineering, dstark helicoptered in ;) and suggested exercise to relieve my elevated adrenalin and stress. It really did help. I hope you can begin to feel some relief. Exercise, venting to us instead of the non-responsive institution and following some of blossom's advice will maybe help? </p>
<p>Maybe a transfer or some time in the professional culinary world would be the right thing for your S. Does he want to grin and bear it? Or take an alternate route?</p>
<p>thank you all for your support. You know, I truly do not want to be involved in any of this. The first months my son spent at school, I ignored his rantings as just lonely, far from home etc. Then it just got ridiculous, and I intervened, only to find his rantings were true. So, why is my son still there and why do I intervene? Because he cannot transfer, I think johnson and wales structures it's curriculum so you truly cannot transfer. It's hard to explain, but it is not like any other school I have ever seen in it's class structure. He takes one class at a time, for about 2 weeks, for 6 hours a day. Then on to next class etc. I have a friend who teaches in culinary, and she had a student try to leave J and W and enter into her culinary school, and they were able to transfer very very few classes, they just don't equate to anything else. and here's the big reason, because my son had to take out loans, and since my credit didn't meet the perfectness of the loan process, my mom had to co-sign. My mom with absolutely no money, but apparently excellent credit. and if my son leaves johnson and wales and defaults, the scholarships he was given by the school and FCCLA default, leaving my son about $65,000 in debt with no degree to show for it. He has to finish there, no other option. But then he wants to go to another school, which I have told him already I will have nothing to do with financially or otherwise, and he is on his own. And I have already warned my daughter, who starts in september, that what her brother has gone through and how I have had to step in is not going to happen in her case. It is way too exhausting. I am just so utterly flabbergasted and distraught at how this university does not care, how they hang kids out to dry, and accept no responsibility or accountability. These are the people teaching my son, and telling him he has to be responsible? I think setting a good example goes a long way, and all they have taught is how to dodge responsibility and get out of doing their jobs. all the way up to the president, arthur gallagher. I'm still mad. I'm Irish.</p>
<p>oh, I only ended up overnight mailing the assignment because I had a bunch of other mail to take to the post office, ebay stuff, and just took his along too. he did his co-op from home, so it wasn't like I drove to rhode island, picked it up, then mailed it back. I might not have been clear there. believe me, when this is over, I don't even want to know where he is going to school.</p>
<p>Not that this will make you feel any better, but the same thing grade-wise happened to my son. Prof had everything emailed to him. Son was soph taking a senior class and (email addresses have years on them) prof never opened them. Had B from tests; F final grade as no papers. Then disappeared. Son had been on academic probabtion earlier so was skating on the GPA and F iced him. He was flipping out and almost suicidal. But to his GREAT credit, since he had been through the academic drill before, knew what he had done properly, he personally got hold of the Dean - whom he had met on his earlier exercises, who rousted the prof (over break) who ended up checking his email and having to make a formal apology to both my son and the Dean. My son did not tell me until it was taken care of (he was home for a sweaty long weekend before resolved - I thought he was sick...but he did tell Dad). I was very proud of him. So it does happen elsewhere. Also, along the culinary front, here in the DC region there is a culinary college - Stratford - that has a good rep, not very expensive and I bet they would take his hours. <a href="http://www.stratford.edu/%5B/url%5D">http://www.stratford.edu/</a></p>
<p>Do other students feel the same way? Maybe some leverage if a group of students banded together and approached the administration (or is that too 1960s?).</p>
<p>Amith-- on the finances.... I think an expert (I am not) would tell you that the money you've already spent is a sunk cost, i.e. nothing will get it back, whereas continuing to pay tuition for another two years is an expense you could choose not to incur. Your son can't possibly owe money for semesters he hasn't yet enrolled in, so his debt is limited to what's already been incurred, not his future loans.</p>
<p>He may decide that one and a half years worth of loans to repay is a better option than continuing with the full four years.... which can only increase his debt. If the program's working for him, than great... but if not, sticking with it because of the loans sounds like a really bad financial decision all around.</p>
<p>Not that I think that studentsreview.com is very accurate, but I do think it can give some insight into what students think about a school. For J&W in Rhode Island, 71% of respondants would NOT go there again.</p>
<p>blossom, my son will only be getting an associates degree from j and w. I was hoping for a bachelors, because truly the last 2 years involve international travel and some supposed very interesting classes. but because of the last 2 years, who can truly trust that. So this may he will be done, which only leaves us with 5 months of torture. once the co-op thing is fixed, he should be smooth sailing as far as his classes. I have read studentsreview.com, and every bad thing posted there is the absolute truth. When I was there to visit, some of the kids and parents were so obnoxious and, well, I just don't have the word. felt like they deserved to be on a pedestal? hey dude, this isn't yale. it's johnson and wales, an overmarketed, overfunded technical school. nothing more. I was reading that studentsreview.com and was laughing a bit. I don't know if you noticed, but some of the comments were pretty awful, just railing on j and w, then all of a sudden you have some lengthy, extremely well worded praises of J and W, all in a row. gee, I smell something fishy from administration? The kids reviews tended to ramble and not be spelled correctly, ( what an education!), but these were too perfect. you know what? live and learn, what a true saying.</p>