<p>hey, i just wanted to see how accurate you graders are on SAT essays.</p>
<p>Personally, i thought my essay did not deserve the score it got. But anyway, what do you guys think this essay should be?</p>
<p>ESSAY PROMPT
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment:</p>
<p>There are good reasons to pay attention to people who are older or more experienced than we are, even if their opinions on important issues are very different from ours. Of course, not every person older than us is worth learning from, while many young people are. But if the only people we listen to are our age and are likely to see things the same way we do, we will miss out on something important.</p>
<p>ASSIGNMENT: Should we pay more attention to people who are older and more experienced than we are? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>Seeking advise from people who are older and more experienced is essential for any task. Several examples from history and literary works demonstrates this.
One famous example of this is the United States Declaration of Independence. Thomas Jefferson, a young and influential lawyer from the original 13 colonies was given the task to write the historic document: although much of the penship was done by Jefferson himself, he often paid attention to Benjamin Franklin's philisophical thoughts. Benjamin Franklin was an older and more experienced man who influenced Thomas Jefferson in writing the Declaration of Independence. Thomas Jefferson himself said the work would not have been as magnificent had it not been for Benjamin Franklin's advice. (haha, lame example)
Another example of an experienced elderly figure is in Tolken's Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings. Although the main protagonist in the literary novel is Frodo, he constantly seeks advice from Gandolf the Grey and Gandolf the White. Oftentimes, Frodo disagrees with what Gandolf suggests, and goes in the opposite direction. However, Frodo usually ends up in the captivity of the Dark Side (lol what), and must be rescued. On the other hand, whenever Frodo follows Gandolf's advice, Frodo ends up accomplishing his task. (i laugh at how stupid this entire paragraph sounds)
Finally, another literary example is from Homer's Iliad. Achilles, a child of a mortal and a Goddess, faces a difficult decision and seeks advice of his mother. Achilles must decide whether or not he wants to enter the Trojan war and fight the Greeks. (haha, totally wrong here) His mother tells him he has two choices: he can go fight, die, and be remembered, or he can stay home, live, and be forgotten. Ultimately, Achilles decides to go fight and die a hero, but a decision would not have been made had it not been for his older and more experienced mother. As a young and fierce warrior, he would have decided to go to the war for different reasons, but by listening to his mother, he understands his destiny and fulfills it.
After careful analysis of Thomas Jefferson's The Declaration of Independence, Tolken's The Lord of the Rings, and Homer's The Illiad, listening to the advice of older and more experienced people is, indeed, the smart action to take. They have more knowledge of the events, and can make wiser decisions. By listening to them, young people can have a clearer understanding of the smart path to take.</p>
<p>NOTES</p>
<p>~Going back, this is a HORRIBLE essay, but it reinforces the fact that the SAT essay is not at all like your high school english class's essay.
~I only wrote one practice essay, and it shows in the piece above. but it's more important to be constantly thinking of examples to have in your essay. I came up with these 3 lame examples right away, and didn't waste any time thinking.
~Apparently the graders don't care that Achilles didn't fight against the Greeks, so..
~I'm taking US History, and the class started at the Civil War. so everything about thomas jefferson i learned from middle school
~I read the Lord of the Rings.. in 7th grade.
~I never read the Iliad, but I've got a general idea from my latin class and the movie troy. :)
~In conclusion, it seems the graders care more about spelling/grammar than historical accuracy.
~I used absolutely no "SAT" vocab, but had no spelling errors, and very few grammar errors. (there are a few though)
~My essay is full of vague stuff, and would have no doubt gotten an F in my english class. but apparently it doesn't matter. just concentrate on filling up the 2 pages.</p>
<p>~~This essay is heavily borrowed from AcademicHacker's guide. read it- it works. you should use it.~~</p>
<p>soo... what do you guys think this essay got?</p>