<p>Okay, everyone, this is not a site designed to search for compliments. I am VERY VERY VERY sick of all these posts that say </p>
<p>"OMG, i only got a 99%, 99% and 98%, that 98 will ruin my chances, and don't lie guys, i know it's true....and plus, I'm only been playing in this professional state symphony for five years and i only play piano, chello, violin, guitar, and flute, and i've only got 50 awards for those. and i only play 50 million varsity sports and i only have three hundred hours of community service!!!! what am i going to do!!!! and i mean, my greatest great great granpda went to andover and so did everyone else, and we only know the director of admissions by name and i've only gone out to lunch with him ten times!!!! OMG, what am i going to do?! do i have the slightest hope of getiing in??!!!! (and please don't lie, be harsh, i know my stats and connections are horrible, i feel like i'm going to cry.....but please tell me the truth--as cruel as it probably is)"</p>
<p>Okay, maybe i exaggerated a LITTLE bit, but seriosuly, this has got to stop!</p>
<p>Nellyrae – keep in mind that those posts are done by young teens, 13, 14 maybe 15 years old. They are not certain about their chances for entry to a certain school(s). They are looking for reassurance – not necessarily a compliment. Every year there are kids with 99% SSAT or legacies or great ECS that aren’t accepted to boarding schools. There is really no way to predict whether a certain student will be accepted – and that uncertainty is what leads to all the chances postings. If they bother you – don’t read them. But for many kids, this is their chance to get some assurances from other that they have a good chance. Those assurances might not be true – but it probably makes them feel more secure.</p>
<p>Don’t forget the small 3rd world country they oh-so-kindly donated to the school along with their 2.5 billion dollar donation!
GOSH NELLY!</p>
<p>But I agree with both. Fishing for compliments is apparent but not always. Knowing that, as “mom”(hsmomstef) put it, “there are kids with 99% SSAT or legacies or great ECs that aren’t accepted to boarding schools”, they can honestly ask whether or not they are acceptable.</p>
<p>hsmomstef–I’m 14. I’m not talking about the chances threads, those are fine, i’m talking about the kids who say their chances and then after lsting fo ec’s say they’re ec’s are horrible. Say one person says “i ahve no sports, i only play varsity tennis, basketball, and footbal” well, what about the poor kid who looks at the post, has the same sports and thinks “hmmmm, maybe i have no chance of getting in, if these psorts are bad” Someimes when people are looking for “insurance” they’re making other people feel bad about themselves. All i’m saying is people need to be a little more realistic.</p>
<p>crickett, darn those 2.5 billiuon dollar donations. At the moment, i could donate…hmmm…ten dollars? It bugs me that those big-donatin kids have abigger chance. But it doesn’t bug me too much because those big donations are going to be paying for my tuition!</p>
<p>I know what you are saying – but still, I think that many times those kids really are unsure about their chances. a middle school student who plays 3 varsity sports isn’t necessarily a shoe-in. I think those kids are being realistic – even with fantastic stats, 3 sports and great SSAT scores those kids aren’t guaranteed a spot. With top schools so selective that they take only 1 out of every five applicants, there are no real guaranteed spots.</p>
<p>again, i am NOT TALKING ABOUT CHANCES THREADS!! I am talking about the COMMENTS that come with chances threads!!! if someone says that their ssat’s are horrible and they won’t get in anywhere because they’re lowest score is an 85, well what if another kid has those same scores? a comment like that could really hurt kid #2’s feelings!!! and kid #2 could still be better qualified and have a bigger chance of getting in then kid1. i’m just saying, enough with the commentary. it’s totally fine to state your stats, but please don’t say “my scores/grades/ec’s/connections/donations are horrible” unless they really, truly, are.</p>
<p>NeLLyRaE, I think the kids you’re talking about move in very different circles. They’ve gone to the “right” schools from the beginning, and those “right” schools have prepared them to apply to boarding schools. At the same time, of course, the “right” schools have prepared many other kids to apply to boarding school. Why do they play three sports? Because it’s required. Why do they have community service? Because it’s required. The “right” schools’ academic programs prepare them to do well on the SSAT, and later, to do well at a demanding prep school. But they move in a world in which all their friends have these same advantages, and each year, they witness older, strong students being rejected or placed on the waitlist. The top preps accept students from so-called “feeder” schools, but I don’t think they take everyone who applies. So, it’s not necessarily false modesty; it could be a realistic assessment of their chances.</p>
<p>Some of the top preps have the reputation of offering an intense environment. Intense, competitive environments draw intense, competitive people. Do you want to spend 4 years with such people?</p>
<p>okay, i’ll say it again, i’m NOT TALKING ABOUT CHANCES threads!!! I’m talking about the COMMENTS that come with these threads and discourage other posters!!!</p>
<p>and yes, i definitely want to spend 4 years with intense people. Howver, i don’t want to spend 4 years who say they are horrible students when they get 4.0’s. PLEASE read my responses to the others!!! i already went through this. CHANCES THREADS ARE GOOD, DEROGATORY COMMENTS THAT COULD OFFEND OTHERS ARE NOT!!!</p>
<p>NeLLyRae, I understand you’re o.k. with the Chances threads, and don’t like the self-deprecating comments of some of the posters. I come at this from the opposite direction, in that I feel the Chances threads are downright silly, and I really hope that no one’s posting anything specific enough to connect their postings on College Discussion with the real world.</p>
<p>The self-deprecating comments may also be a cultural thing. Many people are trained never to boast about anything. But they’re 13, 14, 15, and they go to school with friends and enemies who are their direct rivals for seats at a handful of schools, and they’re feeling insecure, and they’d like some reassurance. But they can’t confide in their classmates, because they’re rivals. Oh, and many of their classmates also know trustees at the schools, etc., so for them, it doesn’t set them apart. So what you seem to feel are ridiculous statements are meant to be modest, and in real life, you might hear them as such.</p>
<p>Here’s a related issue. Let’s imagine a hypothetical situation. You’re accepted to Prestigious Prep (PP). It’s exam season, and you’re working as hard as you can to maintain a “C-” average. You’re surrounded by peers who will lament how they must have totally blown the the last test, and they’ll do really terribly, and end up with only a B+. Will you still speak to those students? </p>
<p>You don’t have to reply to this question. I mean it only as something to think about. I have the impression that schools differ greatly in their on-campus culture, and that one of the greatest factors in a student’s happiness at a school is the “fit” between student and school.</p>
<p>I will answer the question. That would be fine with me, altho slightly annoying. in fact, one of my best friends constantly does that stuff. And i still speak to everyone on this site weather or not they do that, everything else about them is really nice! this sin’t that big of a deal to me, but it is slightly annoying. But like i’ve said in previous posts, you could be saying that you are horrible because you have a 3.9999. well, what if someone else on the site has a 3.9999, and it’s really big deal to them and they’re really happy about it? That person saying that it’s bad would hurt they’re feelings! i’m just saying that people’e commentary about their chances could hurt other people! I just think it’s mean to do that and people should be more careful, because when it seems liek you’re dissing yourself, you could be dissing others as well!</p>
<p>“The self-deprecating comments may also be a cultural thing” That is true. There are many people on this board from Asia or who are Asian-American. In some Asian countries, it is impolite to come out and say something wonderful about yourself without first saying something about how underserving you are.</p>
<p>let me add some fuel to this fire. some here have exaggerated their accomplishments. i know of several who have done this. their stories are not consistent over several postings or they mention things that just dont make sense. i assume it is to “psych” others here. take this forum with a grain of salt.</p>
<p>I’m 13. I think that most of these posters here are probably not exaggerating. It’s like Periwinkle said. They have rivals in school that may be better than they are. In this case, they may also feel that they themselves are inadquate because of the rivals. Culture is a big thing too. I’m Asian-American, I would know…</p>
<p>* I don’t think culture has anything to do with feeling inadequate. I myself am Chinese-American and don’t feel this way. You may feel this way because of your parents, but to generalize is not alright. I know I’m a good student, and I also know if I tried my best to not beat myself over it. *</p>
<p>It all depends on where your coming from. For kids at Greenwich Country Day, many times a 95 is not good enough, due to the fact every single other kid in the school is applying. As well as the fact all their parents went to these schools, so legacies dont’ matter as much. Money is not a factor, and everybody plays an instrument. Its kids like these who we see worrying so much, and as unfortunate as it is, they have every right to worry.</p>
<p>So all in all we really have to think about where the kids are coming from and their competition.</p>
<p>yeah I see alot of it as well, but these kids are pretty pressured and are worried if they don’t get in their life will be over. might as well let them be, they wont’ be satisfied until they see their acceptance letters anyways</p>
<p>Everyone can get in somewhere. It just depends on where you apply…</p>
<p>I’m living in China and the mentality here is that if you don’t get into the top three universities, you’ve lost. I think many Asian families (and some Americans) don’t understand that there are way more very good options in the US and that you can choose a school for fit rather than prestige and still get into a university that fits your goals and needs. There are 300+ boarding schools in the US and over 1500 4-year colleges and universities. Plenty of space for everyone.</p>