<p>Which competitive boarding schools are the most welcoming/enjoyable/have the happiest overall environment?
(Not as in partying, drugs, and alcohol.) I'm trying to find a balance between academic rigor and enjoyability (if that's a word). Thanks! </p>
<p>I think most people are pretty happy at their school overall. And no one can really compare schools, since they’ve only been at one (well, I guess maybe if someone was UNHAPPY and transferred, they could compare 2). Rigorous schools tend to follow the " work hard/play hard" model, so they’re still fun. Any school will have at least some people who aren’t happy, some who just work all the time, and some who party-- but, overall, there will be a balance between work and play, and all these schools at least TRY to build a community of nice kids. People can tell you about their own schools, but I wouldn’t trust anyone’s opinion of a school they haven’t attended. Try to pick schools that sound like they’d fit you and can fulfill any of your interests-- and then visit, while school is in session (or at least on revisit days) to get a feel for the atmosphere of the place, and try to decide if YOU would fit in and be happy there.</p>
<p>The real variable is that adolescence is a minefield for most kids no matter where they are. Some weeks, the kids on my team and in my classes are loving life, and other times waves of crabby, whiny, or sadness overtake them as individuals, groups, and even the rare campus-wide malaise. Campus-wide euphoria can strike too. Teenagers are emotional beings, and with so much time spent among their peers those emotions fluctuate. I can easily picture a half-dozen kids here on my campus who would nominate our school in a heartbeat as a place that is the most welcoming/enjoyable/rigorous enough, and another half dozen who would loudly say that it isn’t quite so welcoming and happy all the time. Individual kids respond very differently to the basic fact of boarding school culture–namely that boarding kids are surrounded by their peers for far longer every day than a kid in a public high school is. A school that emphasizes sports as the be-all-end-all in extracurriculars is not going to be the happiest place for an artist or a musician, but the athletes may be grinning a lot.</p>
<p>I find that the silly stuff matters in this question: the food, the beauty of the buildings, the landscape around, the number of campus dogs that can be petted/walked, school traditions, student insistence on stupid hierarchies, dress code, field trips, etc. etc. Everyone has a different magic combination.</p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
I think there is a real difference in happiness at schools. My DD was at a very rigorous school prek-9th grade but was miserable because of the hyper competitive environment both academically and socially. She is a very bright child and could handle the work, but she felt like she was always be judged and had to keep a “leg up.” The kids could be cruel to each other. We realized how unhappy she was and she asked to apply to boarding school, we agreed considering she is a very mature teen and responsible student. An acquaintance recommended a number of schools and Suffield Academy was at the top of the list. While it is not a HADES school, it has wide offering of academically challenging courses, but most importantly to her and to us, the community is known for being NICE! It is a collaborative community of students who have a range of abilities - academically, athletically and in the arts, yet they are supportive and truly cheer each other on. My DD is in leveled classes so her academic needs are met, but what we love the most is she feels comfortable trying new activities and feels she can fit in with many groups. It was telling when she said, “There are no cliques here…everyone is so nice and just likes being here.” The faculty and administration are top notch and very tuned in to the kids. I am so, so thankful she did not go to a HADES school and that she is in such a supportive, encouraging and nurturing environment. There is a difference in happiness at boarding schools, no question.
@boyzap2122 It’s funny to hear you use the word balance. That was my son’s primary requirement in his search for a boarding school and the exact word that he used. He believed (and still does) that a balance between academic work and downtime was essential for his happiness. Downtime in his mind included everything from simple hangouts with his buddies, to selected extracurricular activities, to occasional moments of solitude. After a terrible run in with cancer when he was younger, he never looked at time the same way. He would not have articulated it this way as a kid, but all his decisions from that period forward were based on the idea that regretting how you spend your time is devoutly to be avoided. All of the top schools require tremendous academic focus on the part of each student, but I suspect that you will discern from your visits that some seem happier and more enjoyable.
The happiest kids are at the schools for which they found the right fit. I don’t believe that any one school is happier than any other. My DS is at a school that I’d bet many consider to be high pressure, but he doesn’t feel it at all. He’s very happy and enjoying the experience.
Remember, you’re looking for a home as well as a school. Think about what you need to feel at home. If you want a name, Mercersburg seems very attentive to the kind of balance you describe. For one thing, students can get enough sleep, which is often a big step toward happiness. .
It definitely comes down to fit. I have 2 kids in 2 different very popular boarding schools. S1 is kicking butt performance-wise but is unhappy at a school where the social dynamics are not a good fit for him. S2 was struggling a bit academically initially, but we have seen him grow so much in an environment that is the right fit for him. He loves it at his school.
Fit. Fit. Fit.
My daughter ended up choosing a school that some may say is not as prestigious However , I let her choose because she explained it to me like this- When she visited this particular school , she said it is like house hunting- when u walk into the right one- it just feels right
@Momof5ct : My daughter said exactly the same thing! It was the last school we visited, and she knew pretty much as soon as we walked in the front door.
My son, who is a senior now, toured 9 or 10 boarding schools all in one cross country trip before 9th grade. This came about because he did well on practice ACT exams as a 12 year old…one particular school sought him out and his dad decided they’d do the circuit of visits and interviews. The first school was his best fit…he attended a weekend tour and the headmaster learned and remember ed his name immediately. He also remember ed my son’s interests and home state…this school is 700 miles away from where we live. I wasn’t keen on him going so far away when he had a better financial aid package offered from a school many hours closer BUT he felt wanted and at home at the school he chose. In 4 years those feelings have remained constant and he has thrived…
During the school search, I visited 4 schools by myself and had a chat with ADs. At one school (school A), I felt strong heartbeat. Three schools I visited were top name schools in the West and my son ended up applying to all of them. When he visited the school A for an interview, he said he felt exactly the same heartbeat. When it’s time to choose, he chose that one and is happy there.