Happy 1st kid in boarding school, now what about kid #2?

<p>Thank you, everyone, for your helpful replies! I have had a chance to look into the UK system of education just a bit. UKgirl23, AniseedLollies, and others familiar with the UK, please let me know if my understanding here is accurate & feel free to correct any inaccuracies. It seems that, with the exception of Scotland, which is more similar to the U.S. style of education, the colleges and universities in Europe are quite different in approach than those in the U.S. As I understand it, application to these universities (including Oxford) must be for a specific program of study – one must already have decided to study to be an architect/engineer/mathematician/what-have-you. Not only must an applicant know exactly what career they want to pursue in life, there can be no changing of one’s mind. Unless DD were adamant on a course of study, this does give me serious pause about such universities, as great as those such as Oxford may be. Further, I understand that the European education system is about a year ahead of the American one, and so an American student must be very advanced to even have a chance of going to Oxbridge. I also hear that it is extremely uncommon for even the best U.S. boarding schools to send kids on to Oxbridge. I am grateful to be years away from the time that DD would apply, to give her time to sort this out.</p>

<p>@AniseedLollies, thank you for the great information and suggestions! DH did go to high school in the U.K. (day school, not boarding), so we do have some familiarity, but I had not heard of a 2 year option before. We do like the IB programvery much, and it is great to have yet another way to pursue it if her current IB day school proves problematic. And yes, you bring up a good point – I do agree that any decision to board needs to be the child’s. I attribute the happiness of our first child in a boarding environment entirely to the fact that he was the one that really wanted to board (it was us parents who had to be persuaded), along with the fact that we allowed him to choose his school.</p>

<p>@UKgirl23, good luck on your applications!! If you have a chance, I’d love to hear more about the application process and your opinion of the various U.K. boarding schools. Feel free to PM me if you prefer. </p>

<p>@GMT, I have a glimmer of understanding of the difficulties (on many levels) that you must face with a child being educated in another country. One of my son’s friends is in town spending Thanksgiving break with relatives, because it is just too far to go home for this relatively short break. I am glad he has family here, but it does make things complicated, as I am sure he misses his immediate family.</p>

<p>@Periwinkle, you bring up good points, as usual. While due to family ties, we would move to the U.K. ourselves in a heartbeat if given the chance, having only one family member there is much harder.</p>

<p>@HarvestMoon, good for you for listening to your child. If his heart isn’t in it, no point in pushing. My only observations are, that if he ever <em>were</em> to want to board, Saturday classes sound worse than they are. Such schools have Sat. a.m. classes because they get Wednesday afternoons off to attend sports (usually involving travel to games). So it isn’t “extra” school. For those boarding schools with a high percentage of boarders, it isn’t a big deal, as most remain on campus anyway (at least at the school my son attends). At his prior school (junior boarding), yes, it was formal dress, but I was shocked that the boys, including my own, rather liked strutting around in their coats and ties once they were actually in them. Maybe this was a middle school thing, but I swear they acted more grown up due to their dress (snowball fights and sledding in their formal dress notwithstanding LOL). YMMV of course, and I wouldn’t push a kid who dug in his heels on this.</p>

<p>@Axelrod, this is not the case - see post #6 for my reasoning. Yes, a consultant friend did suggest boarding school when I mentioned my DD’s interest in Oxford, but this does not mean we will run blindly to boarding school as a result of one friend’s opinion. As a current boarding school parent, I strongly believe that the boarding school experience must be an end unto itself, not seen as a stepping stone to selective colleges, much less one particularly selective college, such as Oxford. That indeed would be folly.</p>

<p>UK private schools generally have intake in 6th grade, 8th grade and 11th grade, it is very unlikely you’ll be able to enter at any other time. We are aproximately a year ahead, I think the disparity is greatest in maths and sciences, which would make it hard to enter a top school for sixth form (junior and senior years) but achievable, particularly if she is taking advanced courses by then.
Some schools worth looking at:
Westminster School, best in the country, boys only until 6th form, nearly 50% go to oxbridge. Large intake for 6th form, about 70 this year I think. Bear in mind the students have to stay away from school one weekend a month and must have some sort of guardian living in or around London
Wellington College, large number of international students, large sixth form intake, offer IB as well as A levels, more traditional ‘public’ school
Wycombe Abbey, I think the best school by results, all girls, 100% boarding, must be registered well in advance of application. Quite a local one for me, but I looked at schools to late to apply (They closed their lists 14 months before I would have attended), also lots of internationals.
There’s also Cheltenham Ladies College, Badminton School, Brighton college that I know but couldn’t give you any details. </p>

<p>That’s just some random stuff, if you want to know anything else I can probably help, although I have interviews at Westminster on Saturday, I’m back down to watch a debate at Westminster on Sunday and I have 3 hours of interviews at a day school on monday, so it may take me a while to get back to you!</p>

<p>Well, if you’re seriously considering boarding school in the UK, here are some websites you might want to try: </p>

<p>[The</a> Good Schools Guide to choosing a school. Which school? Independent, state, public, private, prep, junior, senior, primary, special, private and public schools and educational and SEN | The Good Schools Guide](<a href=“http://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk%5DThe”>http://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk)</p>

<p>Particularly this section: [Tips</a> For Foreign Parents On Finding British schools | Tips For Foreign Parents On Finding British schools | International Family Services | The Good Schools Guide](<a href=“http://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/help-and-advice/choosing-a-school/international-family-services/263/tips-for-foreign-parents-on-finding-british-schools]Tips”>http://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/help-and-advice/choosing-a-school/international-family-services/263/tips-for-foreign-parents-on-finding-british-schools)</p>

<p>[UK</a> Boarding Schools - private schools, public schools and boarding schools in the UK](<a href=“http://www.ukboardingschools.com%5DUK”>http://www.ukboardingschools.com)</p>

<p>[Home</a> - Find Top UK Private Boarding Schools - <a href=“http://www.privateschools.co%5B/url%5D”>www.privateschools.co](<a href=“http://www.privateschools.co%5DHome”>http://www.privateschools.co)</a></p>

<p>I’m not sure how old your daughter is now, but depending on the school, be prepared to apply 1-2 years in advance (or more for schools like Wycombe Abbey). However, some exceptional schools will still have a few spaces and may be able to accept your daughter if you have to apply late. </p>

<p>If you want a list of schools I’d recommend feel free to send me a message. If its all a bit serious for a fanciful thought, no worries.</p>

<p>Whoops, the second link I gave you is geared towards international students who aren’t fluent in English. This one is probably better:</p>

<p>[Coming</a> Into The British School System From Abroad | Coming Into The British School System From Abroad | International Family Services | The Good Schools Guide](<a href=“http://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/help-and-advice/choosing-a-school/international-family-services/265/coming-into-the-british-school-system-from-abroad]Coming”>http://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/help-and-advice/choosing-a-school/international-family-services/265/coming-into-the-british-school-system-from-abroad)</p>

<p>Also, as UKgirl23 mentioned, if you wanted to board your child in the UK you would need a “guardian,” who can be either a family member, friend, or somebody you choose of a list the school/an independent agency may arrange.</p>

<p>You will also have to sort out visas, unless your husband is a British citizen? </p>

<p>Many people swear by “educational advisers” or “educational consultants” who help you narrow down schools based off your daughter and criteria (and their insider information), but these cost money and are not necessarily the best option (especially if they are biased (which is incredibly unlikely)). However, they can be useful, especially at finding a full boarding school with few (or no) compulsory exeat weekends. </p>

<p>Final thing: visiting schools will be hard, so either be prepared for financial cost or have some blind faith. </p>

<p>I went on longer than intended. Anyway, good luck with whatever your family decides and make sure that, if she chooses to go, it isn’t all about Oxford. If she then fails to get in (as more than 10 000 able applicant do each year) that would be CRUSHING.</p>

<p>Thank you so much, UKgirl and AniseedLollies! Fortunately there is some time before we would need to act, as DD is only in the 6th grade and we are still hopeful that her day school plans continue to work for her. Your comments and suggestions are indeed helpful, though, as we know things can change very fast in life, everything from sudden relocations due to job circumstances to changes of heart by the child. </p>

<p>Your last point is a good one, AniseedLollies. I have already started my ‘parental speech’ on how there are many, MANY excellent colleges and universities, and how any one of them can give her an excellent education. I listened in horror to a friend recently tell me of a young girl who cut herself because she didn’t get into one particular Ivy. Nothing is worth that.</p>

<p>Good luck on your applications, UKgirl, and remember - the cream always rises to the top. From your posts, it sounds as if you have a great future in front of you, no matter where you attend.</p>

<p>I have two students - the youngest I talk about here because she initiated the idea of going to boarding school and is thriving. The oldest wouldn’t have survived the experience - too intense even though her stats were stronger. </p>

<p>Trust your gut on whether child 2 will thrive in that environment. Then pick the school that matches that kid rather than assume they should both be on the same campus. In retrospect I wish I had spent more time vetting the local private school for my oldest (fit versus reputation). She graduated and had a solid education but would have had a more fulfilling time if we’d chosen more wisely.</p>

<p>Ah, Exie, I think nothing is more excruciating for a parent than 20-20 hindsight.</p>

<p>I want one of those “time turners” from the Harry Potter series. Can think of a lot of things I could change with that tool :)</p>

<p>@ Exie, if you find one, I would like one too, please. </p>

<p>@2kids, if you were to consider UK schools (which may be too far for your young dd), it sounds like you’d actually have to start the process when she’s in 7th grade… so, not so far off! You have the good fortune to be well-versed in the search process and I’m sure you will make a well considered decision. It will be interesting to see how the next year or two progress for your dd and for her marvelous drive and ambition!</p>

<p>Thank you, GGM, what a nice thing to say. As a parent, I can only hope to do both kids’ justice while letting them drive their own lives. It is great to have CC as a resource to bounce ideas off of!</p>

<p>We wouldn’t have a guardian in the U.K., so that is likely out. I’m still hoping the day school works for the youngest…she isn’t asking to board, and, selfishly speaking, I’d miss her terribly. It amazes me, though, the overall difference in character and aspirations in kids at her day school vs the kids I have met at child #1’s boarding school. Those kids I truly would <em>want</em> for a chiild’s peer group - I am sure they are not perfect angels, but as high school kids go, I have been very impressed. </p>

<p>The local school isn’t. Parents of smart kids who have gone before have either yanked their kids out, or let their kid bumble along with one or two like-minded friends, holding on until they graduate to a better environment in college. I went through this sort of ‘ok at best’ peer experience in high school, and it was lonely. I am sure that some boarding school kids go through this at their schools, and I would not put DD at child #1’s school based on this alone, but it does have me thinking. Peer groups are so important to teens.</p>

<p>As much as we want to look forward and plan, you also have to evaluate her level of happiness and opportunities now. Sounds likes she is getting a very good education, involved in activities she loves and all set with informed parents.
Based solely on what you posted, I would keep her home and supplement with some great summer opportunities home, out of state and even abroad.</p>

<p>T</p>