Happy to Go Back After Break, or Not?

<p>DS is now in Junior year - the tough one. He is doing great academically, but only by working super hard. And truthfully, he is just not that thrilled to jump back into it in a few days. This seems understandable due to the heavy workload and high stakes. But it seems so many parents on CC maintain that once their child gets into the groove at BS they love it, consider it home, can’t wait to get back, etc. Is this more the norm, or just an ideal realized by a happy few? I am kind of sad that this is not the case for my DS, and that he is actually kind of burned out. I know he'll continue to do great, and definitely wants to continue at this school. I just feel like another fairy tale magic bubble myth about boarding school (those happy Viewbook faces!) has been popped.</p>

<p>So, how many of your kids are excited to be going back to school, and how many are not?</p>

<p>I asked my junior, who has been home in a food/sleep coma since 12/20, to read your post (and stop rolling his eyes at me for still being on CC). He said he doubts any kid at any school is “excited” to be returning to class work after spending more than two weeks celebrating holidays and sleeping in. He says any kid who prefers school to unlimited sleep and parental pampering needs professional help. On the other hand, he says it’s a given that he has to go back after every break, so he doesn’t think much about whether that makes him happy or not. He’s glad he’s had such a nice vacation and is looking forward to seeing his friends, but he also knows he has a lot of work ahead before finishing up the school year. He just doesn’t expect to be “viewbook happy” all the time. He does love his school and considers it home, but that doesn’t mean it’s an amusement park. He says school is a 95/5 split between work and unadulterated fun, so you shouldn’t expect your student to be crossing off the days until he returns to the grind. On the other hand, he bets RuralSon will tell you that the grind of his BS beats any other school alternative so, in a way, he is happy, just not “excited.” There’s a difference.</p>

<p>I have been trying to understand this since my son began his freshman year at one of the top prep schools. So I am at the very beginning of this journey and boy’s tend to be much more “shut mouth” than girls. I have been trying to determine “Is he happy with his decision” and I have come to the conclusion that all of the students get to the point where they hate all of the work but they realize that it is part of what they signed up for. It is similar to the training to play a sport, no one enjoys the hot August workouts preparing for the fall season but they know they have to do it in order to play the game. My son’s middle school always emphasized that parents aren’t doing their kids any favors when they lead them to believe they will always be “happy”. Life is not always “happy” and the sooner you realize it, the better off you are. Kids coming out of prep school do realize all of their hard work has paid off when they get to college and compare themselves to their peers.</p>

<p>Thanks, ChoatieMom. That is good to hear. You’re right, I think he does have the deeper happiness that he is returning to the place he ultimately wants to be. Even though it is not a very “excited” happy right now.</p>

<p>Excellent insight, firstgen. Thanks.</p>

<p>The NE is expecting 10 inches of snow tonight into tomorrow. I don’t know why but every time snow is predicted, I think of K2 and how his campus reminds him of “The Shining” during the winter. So, he’ll have that to look forward to…</p>

<p>Both kids have been (surprisingly) active during this break, but as it draws to a close they’re in total relaxation/feed me mode. No one has said a word about school and that’s fine with me. It’s always a big push to get everyone out the door. The last kid dropped off usually checks in with two minutes to spare… as mom hits the curb…</p>

<p>S1 is also in junior year w crushing academic load. He also has mixed feeling about going back to the grind. When we asked him if he would prefer to have stayed at his prev school, he said emphatically: hell no!</p>

<p>He’s crammed all kinds of food goodies in his luggage. Hope U.S. Customs doesn’t seize it.</p>

<p>10 inches of snow…and kiddo did not wear his coat home. Guess he’ll have to freeze.</p>

<p>As to Shining reference, whenever I pass by the Stanley Hotel (the stage of the movie, etc) on the way to the Rocky Mountains National Park, I can’t ignore the irony that its location is so far from remote. it’s on a highway. It had been recently cut off due to the lost highway swept away by flood, but definitely will not be isolated by snow. Haunted yes, isolated no.</p>

<p>My kid left her coat at school over Thanksgiving, and it was really cold here… I couldn’t believe it. We got a lot less snow than we were expecting last night, but it is wicked cold… Below zero now and Will not warm up to 30 degrees until Sunday. ChoatieMom, wrap that kid in a blanket when you send him off!</p>

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<p>He won’t need a blanket or even a sweater at this end. It’s the other end that’s the problem, but layers and his hoodie will have to suffice. Kids.</p>

<p>RuralMama, I think Junior year is a particularly difficult one for all BS’ers. Although my D had a stunningly successful term academically, she is burnt out and has specifically said she could use 2 more weeks of winter break. So you are not alone. When I gently queried her on why she felt that way, she said that junior year is intense and personal choices have to be made between academics and social life. I know she has spent a lot more time in the library this term, and feels that her life does not have the balance that she was able to achieve in previous years. Hopefully, she will be able to re-claim that balance next year when all of the college testing will be completed. I do think the SAT, SAT II’s and AP testing weigh heavily on her mind. Spring term will be stressful.</p>

<p>My son leaves tomorrow to spend the weekend in NY before going to school on Monday. His only way of expressing that he’s sad to go is that he’s planned menus for each of the remaining meals he has at home. I’m happy to oblige his wishes. I am feeling very melancholy. I miss having his voice in my house. But he is happy and thriving at school, so I’ll let him go. :(</p>

<p>So glad to know I don’t have the only child who doesn’t wear a coat home (or bring gloves).</p>

<p>I posted earlier about the difficulty getting the son to talk about life at school. We went on an outing today , to the mall of all places to spend some of his Christmas cash. Very unusual for son but he shops like his dad In and Out. During 25 minute trip to the mall, he had his BEAT headphones on so there wasn’t a lot of conversation. However, most things with him revolve around food so we had lunch at the food court and it was well worth the time. He really opened up and shared some of what is going on. He has a friend from the mid west who is really struggling with all of the academic pressure and may end up taking a leave of absence. It was interesting to hear how he and his friends are rallying around to support their buddy with determination to help him succeed. He really had no complaints as he realizes that the winter term is going to be difficult with the cold, snow and early darkness. We talked about another friend who comes from a very different background and they are becoming best buddies. The ride home continued the conversation as the headphones remained in the glove box. He has no idea how this short glimpse into his life back at school has answered my question- Did he make the right decision? Without asking the question directly, I got my answer. I know there will be those phone calls over the next 8 weeks when he has had a bad day and calls us to sound off. We all need to remember, this to shall pass and life will go on.</p>

<p>Friendships made in BS are like friendships forged on a battlefield. Nice post, firstgen.</p>

<p>I’ve been drawn the “battlefield” analogy as well. I did pretty much feel like I was sending DS back to the front lines. Less so now after the CC discussion. Now it feels more like sending him back to boot camp. Intense, but not mortal.</p>

<p>Mine is very happy about going back. Correction: she is very happy about seeing everyone and playing hockey. The academics? Not so much. :)</p>

<p>Sent from my iPhone using [URL=&lt;a href=“Tapatalk”&gt;Tapatalk]Tapatalk[/URL</a>]</p>

<p>One reason DS may really be happy to go back: tennis shoes! After conking out the last night before break in his suit and shiny black dress shoes and dashing for the early morning airport shuttle still in that ensemble, these have been his only shoes for the entirety of the break. Those, and a pair of slipper mocs that a merciful Santa slipped under the tree.</p>

<p>Both of my children LIVE in slipper mocs, inside and out. They managed to find ones with the shearling lining. My son wore them on a horse drawn sleigh ride yesterday, I thought he was out of his mind but in the end his feet were warmer than mine.</p>