<p>Our DD was rejected by Columbia, and was crushed. However, she has been accepted by NYU, Boston U, William & Mary and St. John's. The latter three have offered her significant merit based scholarships, while NYU offered us only a boatload of loans. </p>
<p>DD of course has her heart set on NYU, because she has a fantasy about living in New York City and likes the idea of a "big name" on her diploma. While we could possibly swing the loans, I have worries about affording school later for the 3 boys we still have at home, and possibly jeopardizing our retirement. We could buy a small house in our home town for the amount of money it would cost to send her to NYU! </p>
<p>She is also now toying with the idea of applying to Pace University just so she can attend school in Manhattan. We know nothing about the place, but are willing to explore the idea with her.</p>
<p>My questions are:
1. Is it really worthwhile to have a diploma from a brand name university? DD wants to study environmental science do conservation research for a living.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>DD has a full ride offer from St. John's, but has been rethinking whether she -- a hippie tree hugger -- would really fit in on a conservative Catholic campus. Any opinions? </p></li>
<li><p>How much should we try to influence her regarding affordability v. perfect fit? She has to live on campus, but we have to foot the bill. Help!!</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Is NYU really a bigger name than BU? And W&M, I thought, has a reputation for more selectivity than either one. Am I wrong?</p>
<p>Boston is a great city. Has she been there? Has she seen BU? It’s very urban, lots going on. </p>
<p>Which school does a better job with environmental science? Boston is awfully convenient to, say, Wood’s Hole. Is that the type of place she might like to do some work?</p>
<p>I am of the opinion that you get LOTS of say if you are footing the bill–plus, you have the wisdom of experience to understand what it means to be deeply in debt on college graduation vs. not being in debt (if those are the options).</p>
<p>As parents we want to give our kids the very best, I fully understand the impulse to hock your future for hers. However, what will you say to the three other kids when their time comes if you’ve already spent their share? Time to give a reality check to your daughter, she’ll survive.</p>
<p>Your daughter has been accepted to 4 schools which she chose to apply to out of the 3500+ colleges out there.</p>
<p>One of them is offering her a free college education.</p>
<p>A free college education…a free college education… a free college education…a free college education…</p>
<p>not seeing a hard choice here at all. You have 3 more children to put through college. </p>
<p>You Win the college education sweepstakes!</p>
<p>full disclosure: My kid could have gone to Ivy, Swarthmore, Duke and others and chose Penn State Honors… his full ride. Had a blast, did terrific, had a bunch of great perks, got in a top ten grad program (fully funded). </p>
<p>IMO, it isn’t worth it. Really, how much ability do your think your 18 year old has to judge what is best not only for her for the next four years, but for the rest of her life, her three brothers’ future, and your retirement? </p>
<p>
I’d be very surprised if a brand-name diploma would help in a field known for their non-brand-name lifestyles.</p>
<p>
Yes, you have to foot the bill. There are a lot of things we can’t give our kids our ourselves that we want to. You’ve denied yourselves the cars you wanted for years and you’ve been telling the kids that for years on the little stuff like an Xbox or a Disney vacation - now you’re going to give in on something that costs the same as a small house? Would you buy yourself a $100,000 car just because it would make you really happy, even though you have four children and a retirement to support? You’ve taken care of them the best you can, and you are NOT required to trash your future for them. And what if you DO give her the NYU experience, and then her brother wants the same? You won’t even have your retirement money to pay for his dream!</p>
<p>IMO, She should go to Pace or any of the others that are affordable and have a good major in her field.</p>
<p>It sounds like NYU is not a realistic possibility – and perhaps, if your daughter thinks about it for a while, she will recognize that she would be uncomfortable there.</p>
<p>One of the main reasons for going to school in a big city is to take advantage of the cultural and recreational opportunities in that city – many of which cost a boatload of money. The flat-broke student at a city school, which is what your daughter would be, cannot join her friends in many of their free-time activities. This would set her apart and could be a cause of considerable frustration. </p>
<p>May I suggest that she should take a second look at William and Mary? It is highly respected – it’s at least a peer school to NYU and probably superior to BU in most fields. But it’s not in an urban environment, and it’s a fairly small school. Your daughter would have to consider those issues. If the city environment is important to her, it sounds like BU is the best choice. Boston is the “college city,” filled with students from a wide variety of educational institutions. It could be a very interesting place to spend four years.</p>
<p>I guess the news hasn’t made it out to flyover country yet…the College of William and Mary is not a brand name university. Neither is BU. Carnegie Mellon…isn’t that a library in NYC or perhaps a smoothie stand? Washington U…what part of DC is that in?</p>
<p>Can you offer her a compromise? Go to W & M and you will subsidize a summer in NYC to take classes, intern etc? She may be able to see more of Manhattan that way.</p>
<p>Have her visit BU- she may be pleasantly surprised that the environment is much like that of NYU. William and Mary is arguably the most prestigious of the four schools, but not very urban. As others have mentioned, living in New York can be quite expensive, making NYU financially unrealistic. What is her intended major?
If you’re looking for other NYC schools, also look at Fordham or even Stony Brook (hour train ride away, plus SUNY tuition if you’re in-state).</p>
<p>I always find it interesting when someone comes on her and starts a thread called something like “Hard Choices” and everyone’s advice is that it isn’t a hard choice at all. Truly, when the emotion is taken out of the equation, the choice is not that difficult. But (((hugs))) to OP.</p>
<p>My S.wanted to go to a top engineering school, but with his HS stats, merit aid would be minimal, and we would be close to full pay. We have 2 younger D’s to put through also.</p>
<p>So S is going to our state flagship. Not funding our retirement, shortchanging our D’s, and saddling him and us with huge loans would have been financial suicide. Especially since our job situations are shaky.</p>
<p>My D is a freshman at a school that was very low on her list a year ago. She is thriving. I give her credit for picking herself up after a disappointing senior spring and attending her college with a positive attitude. </p>
<p>Hugs to you. I encourage you to read the Awesome Parents College Class of 2015 thread. What is very hard now (I do understand!), will seem so much more manageable in a year.
I encourage you to be realistic about debt and the other needs of the family (including your own retirement). </p>
<p>Would D be willing to consider taking a gap year to work full time to save for NYU? Can she find comfort in the possibility of a transfer if one of the affordable options does not work out to her satisfaction? She has some great options, but I understand how she may not feel joy over the situation.</p>
<p>While I agree with the posts here, as a parent with a student at NYU, I want to dispel the notion that a student with little funds can’t join their friends in free-time activities. The fact is, there are a ton of free and low-cost entertainment options for students at NYU.</p>
<p>I think Pace is a big step down from the schools she has applied to, even from St. John’s. At St. John’s only 38% graduate in 4 years. The middle SAT ranges barely overlap with BU’s. And isn’t it a big commuter school? About the only thing it is known for is its basketball team. Not the college experience I’d be looking for… It is hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of a student who can get into William and Mary with merit money going to Pace or even St Johns. </p>
<p>That said, it it a no-brainer to say no to NYU, one of the most over-priced (except for Tisch) schools out there, in favor of William and Mary or BU, especially with merit money. William and Mary is a very good school with a very good reputation. If she wants a more urban experience, BU is located in a major cit that is possibly the best college town in the US, with tons of stuff to do and a huge population of other college students. Both BU and W&M have at least as much of a “name” as NYU.</p>
<p>My daughter will be attending NYU next year. She too had her heart set on attending school in NYC and that is because she wants to work in an industry that is pretty much based there. However, she wouldn’t have attended just any school because it was located there. For her, and this decision was reached after thoroughly researching (and visiting) other schools in the city, NYU was it. She already has a possible internship lined up and plans on taking advantage of NYU’s extensive study abroad program. My daughter felt (and we agreed) that NYU offered the perfect mix of highly regarded academics, professional opportunity (via alumni network and school’s incredible internship program) and the experience of living in NYC. </p>
<p>As an aside, NYU students are able to attend Broadway shows, movies, concerts and museums at highly discounted rates–so the suggestion that most students can’t afford to take advantage of the city’s cultural and artistic offerings isn’t completely accurate. </p>
<p>I will add that in my daughter’s case, had she not been accepted (she applied EDI) to NYU, she would have attended school outside of NYC. For her it really was NYU in NYC that she wanted–not just being in NYC. NYU is very expensive, had my daughter not been able to articulate (and had I not seen it with my own eyes) why she felt it was the right school for her, I don’t think we would have been onboard. </p>
<p>I wish you and your daughter the best of luck.</p>
<p>Momof2, I can not imagine any kid taking a gap year and being able to save for NYU. I cant imagine many parents could do that. Taking a gap year could allow the OPs DD to apply to say Fordham or BC (I think the latter says they meet need).</p>