Harvard vs Duke (with scholarship)

College Search & Selection
1

Hello all,

I am a junior who is looking for some advice. I have already sought advice from friends and family, as well as my college counselor, and they all have conflicting opinions. I am a recruited athlete in my sport (a legitimate one!) and ranked top 50 in the country for the females in my class. I have visited both schools, as well as other Ivies, officially. I have been unofficially been offered spots at both schools; however, Duke also comes with a virtually fully scholarship covering most costs. I do not qualify for financially-based scholarships at Ivies and they do not offer athletic scholarships. My parents tell me that they are able to afford paying for Harvard in full but overall we are a frugal family. This is an enormous sum of money that I want to be 100% sure I am using correctly. Here is how I currently feel about these two schools:

I love Harvard, not simply because it’s Harvard, but because of the sportsmanship and camaraderie of the team I will be on for 4 years - one of the most important aspects. My parents encourage this route more because they are Asian and come form a lower-class background. They want me to have the opportunities that they cannot provide, mainly in connections and resources. The school is less competitive in terms of sports, but this is not an important factor. I am worried that it is overrated, or that I love the school because I have been conditioned to idolize it.

I did not have a great impression with the people at Duke (specifically on the team I will be on). I did feel someone uncomfortable in the South (I am from the Northeast). The team is very self-involved, and I am worried that I will not have the time to make friends outside of my team. However, the food and weather is unparalleled, and I am intrigued by the social life emphasis at Duke. This is a chance to relax a little bit and I feel that I will not put as much pressure on myself as I would if I choose Harvard. However, the alumni network and the academic environment are aspects which I am not sure will be as strong as Harvard.

Basically, I am not sure whether it would be worth it to go to Harvard. Without the scholarship offer, I would most likely choose Harvard, but I cannot decide whether it is really worth $250K of my parents’ hard-earned money. As an Asian female, I feel that I will need that name-brand validation that comes with Harvard, even though Duke is an amazing school. I will most likely be majoring in economics, and I am interested in business school or law school after college. This is also important as I may be able to get a higher GPA at Duke/Harvard (depends on your opinions, I suppose) in order to get into grad school. However, I am also worried that I am overthinking things and I should just choose my favorite school. The other aspects of the school (coach, fraternities, etc) are not important to me. I have enough confidence in my academics that I will be fine at both of these schools. Friends and family are always obvious with their own biases and I do not feel like their opinions should factor in too strongly. I would like others’ honest opinions.

Anyone who has personal experience with jobs or internships after college being from one of these schools, or is making a similar decision, I would love to hear your thoughts and reasoning. I am aware that I am incredibly fortunate to be in this position and I am humbly seeking advice. This is a real call for advice and help. I am not a ■■■■■. Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate any advice you may have.

2

From a financial point of view, the decision is not even close. And the reasons given for preferring Harvard don’t seem to be education-related. Duke has very strong job placement, alumni network and “name-brand”, as you put it. But since your parents would be paying for Harvard, maybe ask them which school you should apply to. Maybe they think it would be worth $250K to have their daughter go to Harvard.

3

If you are serious about your sport. Most Duke sports are elite and Harvard is not.

Harvard is Harvard. But $280000 better than Duke? Personal question.

Based on my experience in life and being surrounded day to day by some of the most accomplished people in the world in their respective fields and in-depth knowledge of their backstory — I would consider Duke and what it offers plus my sport if the gap were 75% less.

4

Has your family run the Net Price Calculator for Harvard?
https://college.harvard.edu/financial-aid/net-price-calculator
Harvard has generous financial aid for many middle class families. Depending on your family circumstances you may find that Harvard is more affordable than you think.

5

First of all, congratulations! This should be an easy choice: Duke

In terms of career opportunities, just about everything available at Harvard is available at Duke, including limited recruitment fields like management consulting or investment banking, which will be recruiting on campus.

Also Duke alums are fiercely loyal. Most love their school and are willing to help students.

6

Thank you all so much! @damon30, my parents personally believe that it is worth it to pay for Harvard, which I am clearly unsure about. I suppose I will be “happier” at Harvard based on the people and fitting in, but again, this might not be worth the money for the difference in enjoyment. @privatebanker, the sport itself to me is about enjoyment. In my specific sport, Duke is not significantly better than Harvard, and the training commitment, etc. are the same. @Fifty, I have checked the Net Price Calculator and would not qualify - my parents can afford it, I simply don’t feel like it is my money to spend. @hebegebe, I agree with you on career opportunities, I suppose I am just concerned about the “resume” aspect, for example, an employer receiving two resumes with the same credentials with one from Harvard and one from Duke. Would it really make a difference? Especially as a first-generation child, I am not sure if it would.

7

@heyotime If you think that you would be happier at Harvard and your parents want to pay, then that changes the calculation. Look at all the parents who hang out on this website as some kind of “mom and dad” social media. Colleges mean a lot to parents, especially the most famous colleges. Since you say now that they prefer Harvard and that they can afford it, then honor their preference. Read this article to see the company you will be keeping: https://college.harvard.edu/admissions/apply/what-we-look/valuing-creative-reflective

8

If you were my kid I would ask you which school you would pick without the sport. I know too many students picked a school for the sport then quit after a year.
If 250k+ to your family is no big deal then I would pick Harvard, but if it’s hard earned money to your parents then I would go with Duke. Duke is very well respected and the education you would get there would be just as good as Harvard. My kid’s friend turned down Duke’s full merit scholarship for Yale because the cost was a “why not” amount.

9

@oldfort For this thread I did something I’ve never done before, which is ask someone not on CC their opinion - in this case a first-generation Chinese parent. After explaining the OP premise, she thought for maybe two seconds before saying “Of course, Harvard”. No doubt the OP’s parents worked very hard for their money, possibly sacrificing leisure time that most Americans take for granted, but this is their payoff. Their pride at their daughter getting into Harvard is likely such that they feel like they got into Harvard themselves. And back home the relatives in the towns and villages will hear that their daughter is going to Harvard and celebrate their success as parents. And if the story is that their daughter turned down a full scholarship at Duke, also well-known, at least in China from the Duke Kunshan campus, to go to Harvard instead, relatives who may have been making $100/month in yuan only 10 years ago will have the same opinion as my friend. So @heyotime, your parents are getting something for their money. (But I’m pretty sure you knew that already. :slight_smile: )

10

Since you do not like the people on your team at Duke, and since your parents prefer Harvard & are willing & able to pay for Harvard, then Harvard may be the better choice for you. (After all, there is a reason that Duke is often referred to as “The Harvard of the South” and why Harvard is not referred to as “The Duke of the North”.)

11

Everything you mention as important to you weighs in favor of Harvard. First, weigh the two options with each other without considering the financial piece. Is there a clear choice?

Then, figure in the financial piece. Will it be a hardship for your parents? It sounds as though they have been saving up for this moment for you! It basically is a full scholarship for you - but instead of coming from the school directly, it’s coming from your parents.

One other potential consideration I might have is whether you are considering pursuing graduate school. Specifically, medical school or law school which will carry a large financial burden. Perhaps that money could be used toward graduate school should you attend Duke. Or, maybe there are financial resources for graduate school also?

I’m not sure how helpful this has been, but our stresses to our children have always been about the right “fit” - your mental health and happiness means the most - go where you feel comfortable!

Best of luck to you with these amazing options!

12

Any top 20 school for free or even half price is an amazing opportunity, not worth sacrificing for another top 20 school a few spots higher on the list. You aren’t comparing Harvard and UNT or UTD but Harvard and a peer elite school.

13

“Then, figure in the financial piece. Will it be a hardship for your parents? It sounds as though they have been saving up for this moment for you! It basically is a full scholarship for you - but instead of coming from the school directly, it’s coming from your parents.”

OMG. Thank goodness my kids don’t have the attitude that there’s no difference between $300K of our money and $300K coming from a merit scholarship.

14

Are you an only child? Is anyone else depending financially on your parents but you? If it’s just you and them, I would agree with PPs that it is their right to give these four years to you, their only child, they must be so proud of they are ready to burst. They are grown ups, and can make this choice.

Sometimes parents are not entirely honest with their children. You will feel it’s not your place to “grill” them about this gift. However, if they were to go into debt or compromise their retirement, that would in the long run hurt all of you. You are also a grown up now (or will be soon, and you sound entirely grown up in your posts!) so I believe you are entitled to tell your parents why you are worried and to ask them to show you that accepting this gift wouldn’t hurt your family. Considering their income is high enough that they do not qualify for FA but they live frugally, there probably won’t be any unwelcome surprises, but I do think that, if you were to accept this gift, they owe you peace of mind.