Being my first year on CC, I sort of expected posting traffic by panicked kids to pick up near the end of April, but it seems like most of the posting trailed off after decisions were sent out in March (especially judging by the school-specific threads which kind of died). Did most kids already decide on their top school accepted to and complete their SIR? Or are they busy visiting their top choices? 2nd-guessing their decisions? Happy with their decisions? Just wondering about the lack of posting by students.
Undecided but not talking about it here.
@Lizardly, I guess that’s my real question, should we be bombarding them with questions, offering advise, or just letting them make the decision (assuming cost issues have been cleared up?)
Well, this is the parent forum. Maybe there’s more angst over on the HS side?
Good question. Son wants to talk about it intermittently with me, also wants to hear my thoughts. I am trying to let him alone and trying not to nudge him toward a choice. It seems weird to me that he doesn’t just know. He has some nice choices. I wonder if he is making this too big a deal in his own mind? Choosing a college is important, but it isn’t the be all end all decision he will make.
There still seem to be a lot of “this school or that school” posts, but things sure have died down. My daughter already made her decision. She loved all of her schools for different reasons, but went for the largest merit scholarship that was offered only two weeks ago. It is fun to move forward and start planning for the transition.
For many kids, who have been hearing for years from their parents that college is a HUGE decision, that they have to go to the best school they can, etc., suddenly being handed the power to decide can be paralyzing. Many are concerned that they will make the “wrong” decision rather than seeing that all of their choices are good ones. This is not an easy time for those kids who have been accepted to multiple schools (even though I recognize that it seems like an enviable spot to be in if you don’t have choices!).
What is SIR?
SIR = Statement of Intent to Register, where you officially notify the school of your intent to enroll and put down a deposit.
Way back when I asked my kids if they wanted to talk about it. Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn’t. I sent them articles about the schools that they were mulling over, or interesting CC threads, but otherwise mostly stayed out of the decision making process. I think older son was mostly worried about hurting out feelings by not going to our alma mater (which also has a lot more prestige on CC, but not in his field), our younger son genuinely liked very different things about the two places he was considering.
I think it’s important for the kids to own the decision. So you can tell them about spreadsheets or flipping coins, or making lists of pros and cons, but ultimately this is their call.
My daughter is undecided because she has a couple of good choices that are only a couple of hundred dollars apart in cost and very different from each other, although both are small. She probably won’t decide until the last minute.
For weeks my son did not want to talk about it (stuck between 2 schools). Then one day he announced where he was going. We were pretty sure where he would end up, but it was stressful for us trying to be certain he kept all the balls in the air and dates in his head - so he wouldn’t miss the sign up for orientation, parking, sports passes, etc.
Mine is still deciding, but finally leaning in one direction. He has good choices but has not been willing to make that final choice.
Sent in the deposit to Brandeis yesterday! Glad that part is over.
Some last minute dithering. No SIR yet.
Narrowed it down to 2, but stuck on which one.
At this point it they’re even just barely leaning toward one of the others, I don’t think it makes much sense to revisit the top choices. What if they see something that makes them lean the other way? Then it will be a very tough situation come next week. For those who are completely undecided and still have more than one possibility they are weighing equally, it could be an excruciating week now.
DD has decided, but we are deciding whether to make her go to our first choice or not. We sort of told her she could go anywhere in state (or OOS if it was the same price). On the other hand, we thought that we said (or that it was understood) that she didn’t need to take the very cheapest option, but that if someplace was much lower that she would take that if it was a good school.
DW asked her yesterday why she seemed so against our choice when she originally sort of liked it. Her answer was “because you guys want me to go there”. She is SO stubborn and doesn’t like to feel that something is not her choice.
@tv4caster is your D’s first choice within your financial parameters that you laid out for her? Because if so, why are you deciding where she goes? If her top choice is in state or OOS at the same or lower price, she has a point…
She has to live there and attempt to thrive the next 4 years, you need to allow her the opportunity to make that choice (unless of course it’s outside the parameters you previously discussed with regards to finances, distance or other considerations).
Our son is also deciding between two schools. As of yesterday he was at least prepared to state that he is leaning toward one, but not ready to commit. Our question to him was, what are you going to DO to help yourself decide? In other words, we’re fine with him taking all the time he needs to decide, but if he’s just waiting to have a dream or bolt of lightening strike, that’s probably not going to happen.We don’t think he’s doing much of anything to help the process along, such as continue to collect helpful information. That’s why we’re frustrated. If we’re going to end up flipping a coin anyway, why not just do it now?