<p>Yes. Very well said. Other examples of this are the assumptions that an important part of making someone’s acquaintance is finding out what church they attend, or being taken aback by someone not being Christian (“I’ll pray for your soul”), or the belief that Catholics aren’t Christian, or that religious beliefs are meant to be shared without the person explicitly asking about it. Sorry, it’s more prevalent in the South. It doesn’t make the people “dumber” or less worthwhile – but it’s a different culture, and I do get tired of pretending that the only thing that’s different about the South is warmer weather and pre-sweetening the tea. </p>
<p>As for manners. The use of sir and ma’am don’t make southerners better mannered, as they seem to think. It is simply a different regional connotation to those words. </p>
<p>In the South, sir and ma’am are terms used to connote respect to any adult, whether it’s a parent / grandparent / teacher or a stranger. </p>
<p>In the North, sir and ma’am are terms that are used for strangers whose attention you want to grab momentarily, but whom you are holding at arm’s length (“excuse me, sir, can you tell me where the post office is?” “pardon me, ma’am, you dropped your glove”) and so the idea of using it for people whose name you know or for which there is an existing relationship would be, indeed, quite rude, as it implies a distance where there is none. (To many Northern ears, including mine, my kids calling me or other female family members “ma’am” would only be done in a humorous context, and would be very disrespectful if done seriously.) So, really, cut it out with the whole “it’s more mannerly to use sir / ma’am.” Yes in the south; no in the north.</p>
<p>Good point. In India, it’s polite to call all elders who are not our actual uncles and aunties “aunty” or “uncle” but it’s impolite to call your real aunts and uncles that. In other parts of the world, I have to consiously stop myself from saying aunty and uncle to anyone because it’s considered rude.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth – in many travel surveys NY’ers are voted the friendliest people in the world to tourists.</p>
<p>Just as southerners descry being seen as yokels, I don’t think we’re rude. Perhaps being terse (when we are) is just a style.</p>
<p>I have seen NY’ers spent up to fifteen minutes trying to send tourists in the right directlon. People always talk to me on elevators, etc. etc. Then again, I’m someone who likes Parisians.</p>
<p>To further challenge stereotypes, my DD is dating a boy from Atlanta and his parents are the same very left, ex-hippie, non-religious folk my H and I are. And yes, they are both native Atlantans.</p>
<p>I think the best politeness you can extend to others in the public sphere is to swiftly interact with / serve their needs so they can get on to what they want to do with their day, instead of all the faux-friendliness chit-chat with the store clerk and barista and so forth. What makes me so important that the barista really wants to know all about me? I am polite to her by stating my order politely and courteously, saying please and thank you, and tipping as I see appropriate; she is polite to me by filling my order promptly and also saying thank you. The whole faux she-has-to-pretend-she-cares-about-my-weekend-plans-and-I-have-to-pretend-I-care-about-hers isn’t “friendly,” it’s superficial, IMO.</p>
<p>Not that Wikipedia is the absolute authority, but I think their Bible Belt article with map and discussion of particular cities is very interesting:</p>
<p>The biggest difference I typically find in religious Christian Southerners and secular elitists is that the religious Christian Southerners realize the “ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”, and elitists simply believe that religious SOUTHERNers sin and fall short of the glory of secularism. I would like to remind you all of a very recent hit movie, “The Blind Side”. I would also like to remind you all of the name Abner Louima. Racism and bigotry is not a “Southern thing”, nor is it more “acceptable” in the South. If you really believe that, you need to get out more. My daughter attends a very diverse, urban Northern college, and she is a very liberal Christian kid. Works in the lower 9th on breaks, tatted and pierced…very artsy and musical…studies all religions. She always wanted to believe that it was the Christians who were the bigots…until she started attending class with a lot of non-Christians. She cannot believe the hate that is expressed by people who know very little about Christians or the Christian faith. The truth is, MOST people have their own foolish beliefs. If you think that the South is somehow more bigoted and less educated than where you are from, I challenge you to rethink that. Because you are showing your ignorance. Urban minorities in this country are suffering at least equally in the Northern slums as they are in the southern rural ones. I am not a Southerner</p>
<p>Putterani, I actually LOVE living in the midwest. Midwesterners are extremely open and friendly, by and large. It’s kind of what we are known for. Schools like Purdue, the U of Illinois, IU…have large and fairly well integrated Asian populations. Having grown up in the Northeast, I have found it very refreshing. Come on in! We welcome you here!</p>
<p>I have been reading this thread with interest. I am someone who grew up in the north and has been living in the south for 15 years. Yes there are regional differences in culture in the two areas, but that isnt always the same as negative. To address the OPs original question - I believe it is important to visit and talk to students and professors at a school that is in an area you are unsure about. Large state universities will have mostly students from that state. If you dont feel that state will work for you, then it’s best not to apply. I do think that many of our southern cities will be more diverse than this thread may lead you to believe. I also think the fundamentalist southern Christian that is shown through the media is not reflective of everyone in the south.</p>
<p>I am not conservative or religious and am managing quite well down here in the south. I have met wonderful people in the north and south. I have also met idiots in the north and south. If anyone thinks closed mindedness is only down here then they must not be traveling very far away from home. </p>
<p>My parents were from New Hampshire. My dad was in the Navy, so when I was younger we were the only extended family members not to live in New Hampshire. Growing up I was often shocked by the bigotry that appeared prevalent to me at the time. I am in no way implying that all of New Hampshire is like this, it isnt. Im just making a point that there are people who may view the world differently than you everywhere. I also think our country has changed significantly in my lifetime. My parents were both Catholic, but of different backgrounds French and Irish. My Irish grandmother didnt want my father marrying a French woman. Shocking isnt it! Thank goodness humankind continues to evolve.</p>
<p>This thread amply demonstrates that, as usual, many people are eager to believe the stereotypes about their group that they consider positive and reject those that they consider negative.</p>
<p>I find the difference to be that religious Christian Southerners tend to think other people’s religious beliefs are their business / concern / a source to actively inquire about as part of making someone’s acquaintance and comment on if it’s not the “right” one, whereas others elsewhere simply believe it’s really no one else’s business / concern because to each his / her own.</p>
<p>Consolation, I supposed there is some truth to what you say. I would only add, that I think you can find people within any group that reflect both the negative and the positive and that’s the universal truth. In actuality, I think it is true beyond groups…and goes directly to the individual. One of the things that drew me to Christianity is the understanding that we are all pretty messed up. And to the poster who is offended when a Christian says they will pray for you…don’t be offended by that. To a Christian, your eternal survival depends on your acceptance of Jesus. That’s what they are praying for. You can choose to believe that theology or not. You have free will. But if a Christian is praying for you, it’s because they want you to be “in”. They’re not intending to be insulting…although I understand why you would FEEL it was an insult. I don’t think it’s a very thoughtful thing to say to someone. Clearly.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl…I read your post. I understand why you feel what you feel. Most religions see themselves as providing the way, however. If a Christian wants to pray for you because they love you, they should just do it and not tell you It does sound insulting.</p>
<p>Native Midwesterner. Lived in 5 states and 2 foreign countries. Married to a southerner Spent 11 years in the south and recently moved back to the Midwest. </p>
<p>What I miss about the south: people are friendly, talkative, entertaining and eccentric.</p>
<p>What I’m glad to come back to in the Midwest: people aren’t lying to you most of the time. (You don’t have to waste a lot of energy trying to “read” or “figure out” what folks really mean. It’s less complicated.)</p>
<p>BU: H’s Irish grandfather was disinherited for marrying a French (Cajun) woman. A pity, too, since his dad was wealthy.</p>
<p>btw: Rudest. People. Ever. And proud of it! – they work at Chicago O’Hare Intl. Airport ;)</p>
<p>All very interesting. Stereotypes and generalizations seems to exist everywhere and are applied against everyone - geographically, religiously, politically. I suppose we all know people who fit the stereotypes and those that defy them. Back to the OP: a student needs to investigate any college carefully. Where are the majority of students from (does it matter to you?), what clubs/organizations are popular (Greek/political/sports), what is the diversity (again, does it matter to you?), etc. Every school is different and has its own culture. CC opinions are no substitute for good research, campus visits, etc. My D’s BF picked a college merely on academic reputation and did no research at all on the student body, and he is miserable (a Southern conservative among midwestern liberals).</p>
<p>I think that we all have to think about our corner of the world and realize that not all institutions in our area are similar; why would institutions in another area be exactly the same? Within NJ, the student body and faculty at Princeton is different from that of Monmouth U or Felician College because of the type of kid who chooses to apply & is accepted there, along with the type of family situation they generally come from. The same applies in TN: students who choose to go to Vanderbilt are different from those who go to UT-Knoxville vs. Lee. With so much mobility now, people aren’t as rooted in one geographic area like we used to be. Every school in the Northeast isn’t full of left wing Democrats and every school in the South isn’t full of Tea party Christian Republicans. </p>
<p>BU & atomom: My mom is from England; when she was growing up the Catholics would walk on one side of the street to go to church while the Anglicans walked on the other. My paternal grandmother didn’t talk to my parents for about 4 years because my Catholic Scottish father married a divorced Anglican Brit. So it’s not just this country…</p>
<p>To the OP: you and your child won’t know the reality of a school if he doesn’t visit. So visit. And ask questions based on your concerns. Not just to the school personnel, but when you’re at the restaurant just off campus, at the airport, at the gas station. Because while our kids choose a college, they’re also going to be part of the surrounding community for 4 years.</p>
<p>And so where are you more likely to find people who would actually have the nerve to say “I’m praying for you”? (and not in the context of hearing about a specific woe, but just praying that you accept Jesus) Do you think there is any regionality to that phenomenon, or not?</p>
<p>Where in the country is it more important for an elected official to “prove” Christian bona fides?</p>
<p>Where is the Islamic Society of North America? Where did the Conservative Governor make a firm stand against bringing religion into politics? Things are nothing like you think they are in the Midwest or the South, anymore.</p>
<p>Our DD (jewish, Conservative, active shul goers) has always gotten along well with fundy christian kids at her middle and HS. Of course thats here in NoVa, so they are used to dealing with folks very different from themselves. They are often genuinely interested in sharing our shabbos dinners, and DD has invited them along to shul on occasion. I cannot speak to how it would be in a deep southern environment. </p>
<p>I also tend to not mind the “friendliness” of southerners. My own very different cultural background tended to include people who had analogous approaches to “boundaries” :)</p>
<p>And saying, “I’m praying for you” doesn’t take nerve. It is a genuine heartfelt belief that, believe it or not, they have a RIGHT to believe AND to say. You have the right to reject it.</p>
<p>Brooklynborn…I grew up outside of Philly where we had a large Jewish population and it had a terrific effect on our culture. I miss that. I do like living in ethnically diverse areas. We had a big Polish Catholic area, a big PA Dutch area, a large Italian Catholic population. I used to really enjoy that. The midwest was settled later and we’re just a bunch of Heinz 57s. Not a lot of ethnicity.</p>
It does sound insulting.</p>