Has your kid gone to a school with very different cultural religious or other values?

<p>I am a Muslim student who goes to a Private, Catholic, all-girls high school. My parents basically sent me here because 100% of graduates go to 4 year colleges, and thanks to financial aid, I also get the education of a private school without the price.</p>

<p>I think that culturally, there really isn’t much of a difference. The basic values at the heart of most religions are the same–charity, love, etc.–so that never posed a problem. There also isn’t much racism or anything of the sort, but there is sort of an unconscious “clique-iness” to the school that results in the Muslims hanging out with the Latinas and the black kids and being a bit separated from the white kids. I honestly don’t think it’s intentional, though–I think for a lot of the Arab and Pakistani kids, who are usually Muslim, we just have a lot more in common with the other minorities.</p>

<p>The biggest issue for me is the fact that Theology classes are necessary. While it can sometimes be interesting, it’s usually frustrating to be forced to take these classes for a religion that is not mine when I could be taking a more interesting elective at the time. For this reason, I plan to avoid going to a Catholic university so that I don’t have to waste anymore of my life sitting in a Theology class.</p>

<p>Geez, debrockman, no one said they didn’t have the right to say it. </p>

<p>Maybe the OP’s kid doesn’t want to be surrounded by people constantly “praying” for him to accept Jesus and / or “praying” that his same-sex parents see the light and repent their ways. To what extent those occur at the schools he’s looking at, I don’t know - but the point is, it’s a worry in those places to a greater extent than elsewhere. </p>

<p>Now, are there people in Massachusetts or Minnesota who might also worry that the OP’s kid hasn’t accepted Jesus or that his parents are sinful? Well, sure, but the <em>culture</em> in those places is more keep-it-to-yourself. It’s more a social faux pas that engenders eye rolling than it would be in other areas of the country.</p>

<p>And some Christians say, “I’m praying for you” and are happy to explain:</p>

<p>1- Praying you are baptized before you are hit by a bus so you won’t go to hell
2- Praying you give up your heathen ways to prove the one true faith prevails
3- Praying for the imminent destruction of the State of Israel to hasten the return of the Messiah</p>

<p>Any of these are highly insulting. My life is not an affront to anyone’s belief’s; my continued existence and religious identity neither proves nor disproves anyone’s messianic fervor; I don’t need my own faith validated by hoping that someone else see’s the light through my proselytizing.</p>

<p>OK?</p>

<p>[Support</a> for same-sex marriage (SSM) in all states: 1994 to 2009](<a href=“http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_poll5e.htm]Support”>http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_poll5e.htm)</p>

<p>If “people are the same everywhere,” this chart surely doesn’t support it. It shows state-by-state differences in terms of support for same-sex marriage. There is quite a lot of regionality here, and for a child of a same-sex couple, I don’t know why this wouldn’t be at least somewhat relevant.</p>

<p>Amen :-), blossom. And guess what? It’s not “cute” or “sweet” like they think it is.</p>

<p>“3- Praying for the imminent destruction of the State of Israel to hasten the return of the M
essiah”</p>

<p>Im sure there are some. Which will probably have less real world impact than the atheist kids boycotting Israel, to hasten a one state solution and the end of “apartheid”. ;)</p>

<p>Brooklyn- I don’t really think the future of the State of Israel hangs or falls on their prayers. I just don’t need someone else explaining to me that although the loss of life might be sad for the families of those who perish, the greater good will be served when Jesus returns after Armageddon.</p>

<p>Like we don’t have enough problems, now we have to worry about Armageddon? Shvertz azayan Yid, right? No wonder I’m tired all the time!</p>

<p>I understand the worry. But unless you go to Bob Jones, or Liberty…it isn’t the way that it is. It hasn’t been that way for a long time in most of the South. But if you take a religion class in the South, there WILL be some Christians who won’t be afraid to open their mouths without being assaulted by someone who thinks that all Christians are hateful, child molesting, homophobic Jerry Falwell followers who don’t understand evolution…which is what my daughter hears every day. But if you REALLY believe your faith that says that we are all sinners and your ONLY salvation is to accept Jesus Christ…then if you REALLY care about someone, you will want them to become Christians. Because the alternative is terrible…in that belief system. I think the correct thing to do when someone says that they are praying for you is to say, “Thank You.” i know that is what I would say if my Muslim or Jewish friends told me that they were praying for me. i suspect that a Southern Christian would feel at least as unwelcome in a Northeastern classroom. Public schools have been conditioning Christian kids to withhold sharing their faith for decades, and if you think it is a good thing…they have done the job well.</p>

<p>Look I agree that there are places that have a decided mission where someone might be uncomfortable who does not share the vision. I have said before, my son will not attend BYU because their MISSION would be to convert him. I’m also not sending him to a military academy because their GOAL would be to make him a soldier. We all have decisions to make. But if you are asking, as the OP was asking, would a Jew raised by gay moms be made uncomfortable at the University of Alabama. No. They would not. Not by the majority of the kids.</p>

<p>“Brooklyn- I don’t really think the future of the State of Israel hangs or falls on their prayers. I just don’t need someone else explaining to me that although the loss of life might be sad for the families of those who perish, the greater good will be served when Jesus returns after Armageddon.”</p>

<p>Ya well, a couple of years ago one lady sat in my living room and told me how a US general had proven that capitalists in the 1930s were going to launch a fascist coup, but he stopped them. I had actually read that story, and knew that it had been debunked, and decided to drop my usual politeness and told her so to her face. One of our other guests, seemed to appreciate that. The lady in question was not a southerner, and I am pretty sure was an atheist. </p>

<p>So there is simply no way to avoid people saying narishkeit. And saying it where its not appropriate. Not in the South, and not in the North. And I would add in 3 years in North Florida (ie the Southern part) and many more in NoVA (but none in Alabama or Georgia) I have never had anyone talk to me about praying for armageddon or anything like that. In florida once someone asked me AND a coworker where we went to church. I said I went to Synagogue at Temple Ahavas Chesed and he did not pursue it - my colleague, a secular gentile, had a somewhat more involved and uncomfortable conversation, but even that didnt go on that long. </p>

<p>In retrospect, I should have said “I go to Ahavas chesed - would you like to come, we have a lovely service every Friday night”</p>

<p>Evangelical Christians have been historically, the biggest supporters of a Jewish State.</p>

<p>Pizzagirl, do you not even hear the hostility in your tone? A lot of Christians do. That is called intolerance.</p>

<p>And regarding same sex marriage…it lost in every liberal state it has been tested in at the polls. Civil unions? Large majority support. Forcing churches across the country to recognize gay marriage? It loses every time. Most of us agree that the State should not discriminate against gays…and that health policy, etc., should not discriminate, etc., but what happens when you legalize gay marriage is that churches then come under attack by legal challenges, which most people do NOT support.</p>

<p>Christians do not believe in a hierarchy of sin, so Christians who are opposed to gay marriage do not think it is a “worse” sin than pride or murder or any other sin…but they don’t celbrate pride or murder at the altar before God, either. if you want to get married at City Hall and leave it at that…that’s your business. But it never gets left there. The underlying hostility against the church is palpable. The goal seems to be to bust up the church. Not to stop discrimination.</p>

<p>Brooklyn…I would have LOVED to attend. We have the same God and you have wonderful traditions. I just see your path to God as WAY tougher than mine. Maybe I’m just a whole lot more flawed than you!! :)</p>

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Straw man - the fact that SSM has lost at the polls doesn’t change the fact that the culture in northern states is more tolerant towards same sex couples than it is in the south, as evidenced by what I linked to.</p>

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<p>Not true. A straw man that gets stirred up by the religious right.<br>
Catholic/Jewish marriages are legal, but no rabbi or priest is obligated to perform one. (Go try to get an Orthodox rabbi to marry a Catholic to a Jew and then try to sue if he refuses. See how well that works.)
Similarly, if/when SS marriages become, no minister who objects will be obligated to perform one. Pretending that the fundamentalist Baptist preacher will be “forced” to officiate at SS weddings if SS marriage is made legal is a charade.</p>

<p>"…and that health policy, etc., should not discriminate, etc., but what happens when you legalize gay marriage is that churches then come under attack by legal challenges, which most people do NOT support. "</p>

<p>Pizza girl is correct on this.</p>

<p>There IS an issue with houses of worship that rent out social halls for receptions to marriages performed elsewhere. IIUC thats an issue recently in DC. Though there are probably ways around that.</p>

<p>"I just see your path to God as WAY tougher than mine. Maybe I’m just a whole lot more flawed than you!! "</p>

<p>OFFTOPIC but I want to correct something - Jews arent perfect either. We also need repentance. We have Yom Kippur for that. Hashem accepts our sincere repentance, in His love. Every day, in the daily prayers, an observant Jew thanks G-d, three times a day, for accepting sincere repentance (accompanied by a sincere intent to change). I do NOT wish to argue the christian doctrine of the necessity of Jesus for foregiveness - I just want to correct the misimpression you seem to have that Judaism has no mechanism for repentance, and that a Jew (according to traditional Judaism) must be completely in compliance with the law to find a path to G-d.</p>

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<p>No, debrockman. They have been “conditioning” EVERYONE to withhold sharing their faith, because they can do so on their own time. And besides, really, it’s just tacky to go around proselytizing.</p>

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<p>I grew up in the north and heard that expression all the time… from people who were Christian. I never thought of it as being offensive, but as others have said, context is important. You have an aversion to the way protestant Christianity manifests in public or conversation, and as such, I think you are having difficulty distinguishing between aspects of the faith versus culture. Frankly, I can’t think of any religion I have ever studied that does not have some element of increasing its number of believers. How it is you have concluded that protestants are ahead of others in that regard I’m not sure. I suppose it’s just the amount of exposure they receive in our country as opposed to other groups. However, I have not seen very many aspects of how religious faiths are practiced differently in the south from what I observed growing up in the north. </p>

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<p>This is imagination run amuck. I agree with debrockman that you seem to think every southern school is Bob Jones or Liberty. It’s not that way. The vast majority of proselytizing I have withnessed at some of the schools mentioned in this thread is convincing everyone who will listen that the SEC is king of the gridiron. Now, if one has a problem with that, he/she should definitely avoid some of these places. Do religious elements exist on campus? Of course they do, just as sure as there are LBGT groups on campus. But this idea that people are being accosted in the hallways with the fanaticism you imagine is not what goes on.</p>

<p>I thought that the SEC WAS king of the Gridiron! That’s what my SEC husband has ALWAYs said!! LOL. Brooklyndad…I grew up around Jewish people but I don’t know a lot about the Jewish faith, I admit…other than what I have learned through study of the Bible. I appreciate the education.</p>

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<p>Judaism and Buddhism for starters!</p>

<p>I never said that a kid at any of these schools was necessarily going to be accosted by proselytizers in the hall outside the chemistry lab. </p>

<p>Just out of curiosity, where might one be more likely to find school prayer at a high school football game?</p>

<p>I have enough FB friends in Louisiana and Mississippi to know that even being Unitarian down there raises eyebrows.</p>

<p>I think this thread is going in circles, but I do find it interesting.</p>

<p>Pizzagirl–You keep asking questions along the lines of “where is “x” most likely to occur?” You appear to think that people saying “I am praying for you” happens only in the south. I disagree.</p>

<p>As FLYVADAD indicated, I too hear this expression all the time. I was thinking you were in the Chicago area. Apologies if I am incorrect. I’m within 100 miles of Chicago and I hear this expression all the time. At least in my experience, it’s because people care. These are people who believe deeply in the power of prayer and are attempting to help and “lift you up” in prayer. I just don’t see the deep darkness in this that you do. My feeling is that this is the intent of the large majority of these speakers, not that they are “praying for your eternal salvation and that you don’t go to hell.”</p>

<p>My only problem with the Unitarians in our area is that they try to convince the college kids that they are a Christian church. They are not. As we drove onto the Big State U campus for my son’s first visit I pointed out the very visible Unitarian Church right off campus and told him, “Son, that church is NOT a Christian Church. I am not telling you not to attend, but do not attend thinking that it is a Christian Church. it is not.” I prefer that churches be upfront about their beliefs, and not try to do the Amway invite (and my parents were bigtime Amway distributors…no hate intended). Mormons are not Christians, Unitarians are not Christians, Jehovah’s Witnesses are not Christians. I know some great people of all of these faiths. But all of these faiths have some representatatives who misrepresent themselves to attract uninformed Christians…which I think is kind of shoddy.</p>

<p>Pizzagirl, if you went to a largely Muslim country and a prayer was said in a public gathering, I suspect that you would be respectful. When you visit a football game at a rural high school where 99.9% of the attendees are Christian, why is it so offensive to you to sit through a short prayer? What has happened in our area is that the kids are now going off to do their OWN prayer…and do me, that’s more exclusive, since almost all the kids and the coaches go off together. I can’t imagine how isolating that might make the lone non-Christian feel. BTW. I have never seen a public prayer at a big State U football game. Maybe a little high school. Never the big U. Not for a decade. You won that one.</p>