<p>but honestly, did i miss out on something? of being 16-18 with lots of friends? or is it similar to college life?</p>
<p>You didnât miss out on anything, nor have you wasted your youth. Why would having a girlfriend/boyfriend or doing drugs or crazy/stupid things mean that you had spent your youth well? Tons of people donât do this stuff- donât be under the impression that everyone does and youâre the only one left out. Most high school relationships donât last (not saying theyâre bad, but still), drugs are bad for you, and doing crazy/stupid things can be immature and dangerous. Doing these things wonât change anything; like aspire2011 said, it wonât suddenly change everything and make you a happier person. Iâm not saying to be in a rush to grow up, but if you worked hard, tried to grow as a person, and had fun, then your youth wasnât wasted at all.
Iâd say your biggest problem here isnât your social life- itâs your self confidence. Improving that will make everything better, I promise; you wonât judge your self-worth by how much you partied/dated/did crazy things. No one should feel like doing that stuff is the only way to affirm their sense of self- including you. And please, if youâre serious about suicide, DONâT. DONâT. DONâT. Repeat after me. Donât. Itâll get better, I promise.</p>
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Not having done drugs doesnât mean youâve wasted your youth, AT ALL. Good on you for not abusing your life with drugs and stay that way :)</p>
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Iâm sorry about that. Life is lonely when you donât have close friends, but youâre still young. When you go to college or get a job, you will have many opportunities to make good friends. Just keep a positive, approachable attitude.</p>
<p>My short answer is no, donât feel that you missed out on something. Everyone is different & experiences things in their own time. What was right for me at 21 would have been woefully wrong at 16. Give yourself some slack. College is way different than high school. The kids are older, generally more secure in themselves, & the freedoms are greater. The opportunities are immense. Just cannot be compared to high school. Choose your college carefully - my experience of college was vastly different from my spouseâsâŠnot better or worse, just entirely different in terms of culture, location, size, living experiences, college life, everything. Find what is right for you.</p>
<p>Work out. It helps relieve your stress and makes you feel good about yourself.</p>
<p>A lot of people go through phases like this and maybe it is your time to be more rebellious, so to speak. Your almost done with school and then you can start over in college if you really want to. And it is never to late to talk to old friends, that could be your best bet. If they are really your friends they will talk to you again. You can talk to anyone though, it sounds like anyone is willing to invite you in:)</p>
<p>And there are so many loving people out there, your family, old friends, neighbors that would miss you terribly if you committed suicide. Dont give up or think about suicide. Keep pushing through and in the end everything will work out:)</p>
<p>You likely have personality disorders. I can fully relate to your situation, although not as extremely.</p>
<p>I work out almost every day, try to be positive, try to talk to people every day, do hobbies, eat healthy, but Iâm still very unhappy. Following morals, living stable, and staying sober is advice that you should follow and receive when you are 30 years old, not 14 years old. Being a social teen is a healthy part of human development. Clean prep or wild stoner, it doesnât matter, but being part of your peers and connecting with them and enjoying things with them is what is essential to go on to the next, more mature stage of life. Itâs not worth it to go on as a sad regretful adult, an awkward adult, a timid adult, or a childish adult in my point of view. I could see being a nerd and going to Harvard or something could make up for a nonexistent youth, but I am not what you would call a ÂnerdÂ. Also, religions are an emotional crutch for suffering people. Most religions offer a promise of an eternal salvation at the end of a life to make up for the suffering. This helps a lot of people to be happy. But, I am not religious anymore and will never be again. I just canât believe in a God. I have tried very hard to, because I wish there was a God very much. I understand why a lot of people turn to religion; life is terrifying and very cold.</p>
<p>@aspire2011, I know about half of the people arenÂt part of that popular partying clique, but at least 95% of people have friends that they can have good times with. And most of the other 5% of people are either ignorant or stupid. I have no friends. Although I have a brother, I do not have any real friends. </p>
<p>I guess I will try to make the most of my senior year as I can. Iâll try to connect with all of my old friends again, but that most likely wonât work out that well I believe. Iâll try pot and see if that makes any difference. I will try to get a job to save up money for college. Have a 5th year of high school to raise my GPA, and also study well for the SATs so I can get into a good 4 year university. Community college is nothing like a real university experience. Iâm not going to a community college. I have no desire to become mature and start a family/career either because I havenât had a chance to be young. Yes, people in poorer countries/circumstance have it worse than me, but they also have lower expectations. I had a privileged life up until age 10, so I know better living and higher expectations. I have had a huge downfall since that age, from being an upper middle class and well off person to having almost nothing. From a young age, I was expected to do great things, or at least accomplish higher things. I canât get rid of these expectations that are so part of my ego or super ego. The only way to do that is to outcaste myself from my broken family. Betray who I am or who I was at least expected to be all of my life.</p>
<p>I have had 4 major attempts to âreinventâ myself to try to become happy sense my sophomore year of high school, but I have failed each time. Gave up my anti-social thinking and biasness, that didnât work, got a weekly therapist, that didnât work, made a major resolution to change a lot of my ways/personality, that didnât work, switched high schools to start fresh and to relive any possible stress/doubt my old school might have been causing me, but that didnât work either. I constantly fight against my shyness, procrastination, and anxiety problems. For each consecutive defeat, I have felt a worse depression. This forth depression that I have now is almost too much to bear. Your youth is the foundation that you build the rest of your life upon, and I have no foundation. I can see how a bad youth or extreme loneliness makes criminals and serial killers. I feel like I have failed at all of my major goals and my childhood dreams in life. It is incredible misery what I am experiencing now that must be greater than almost any other human misery possible. I have had a lot of unfortunate circumstances, but instead of facing them I just numbed myself to life by zoning out to internet surfing or listening to music. I have lost so much time to that and have become very isolated.</p>
<p>It is better to die then to not have lived at all in my point of view. I will not be one of those cold timid souls who do not know what it is to live. I could become one, and there are a lot of them around, but I know better to be able to be one unfortunately. I know what it is to be happy and I have read poems about the incredible sensations you can achieve in life. Life is starting to close in on me at the age of 18. I know this post is *<strong><em>ing weird, but it is the only thing I can think of that will give me motivation to try and get above water again. Try everything that I think could possibly work for me to get out of this hole that I have dug myself in Sorry I am using this Âhigh school life forum to *</em></strong>ing anonymously tell my whole life story, but I think this will help me. This is me venting and finding my will to make another resolution. I will now try to be confident. I am trying to be clear in what I am writing, but I am also very distraught right now, so this might come out as a little foggy and lack emphasis on certain things or over emphasis on other things. And if you actually feel bad for me, just know that people kill themselves and die all of the time. I have had very little fun and pleasure with my life in these last 10 years. I had a good year when I was around 13, but that was short lived. Iâm in a very dark place now! Goodbye.</p>
<p>UmmâŠwhat does âgoodbyeâ mean?</p>
<p>Oh hell no. Goodbye? NO.</p>
<p>omg dont feel bad.
youâre 18, your life is just beginning believe it or not.
high school and middle school students drinking and having girlfriends/boyfriends is so lame.
you have time to do it in college, etc.
i dont have many friends either and i have never drank, smokedâŠiâve had a bf but really the whole thing is just hype.</p>
<p>Not many people like me in my schoolâŠi never get invited to partiesâŠno one even told me about the senior class bonfireâŠand i dont even plan to go to promâŠbut there is more to life than these petty things.
be/c iâm âattractiveâ and i have top grades, people think iâm arrogant and girls are so mean to me when i try to not even talk to them! most of my friends are guys. i use to cry so muchâŠbut im okay with it now.</p>
<p>you havent wasted anything trust me.
study philosophyâŠor historyâŠit helps me when im feeling depressed.
if that doesnt work, take PROZAC.</p>
<p>You couldâve just said âI donât believe in God.â Instead you went on this âRELIGION IS FOR THE WEAK.â rant. You couldâve just said âI am not good at socializing and my familyâs had some economic trouble.â Instead you went on about a god damn âdownfall.â</p>
<p>Quit with the arrogant melodrama.</p>
<p>^ TRUE *<strong><em>.
Oh *</em></strong>.</p>
<p>Man⊠why donât you ****ing see there are better days?</p>
<p>Yeah, you feel like *<strong><em>, feel you canât connect. How do you think I feel? Iâm hated in my school. Whole school wants to *</em></strong>ing burn me.</p>
<p>I donât connect with people, Iâm an outcast. And yet I still know that there are people who care, and I have goals that suicide would prevent me from causing. Youâre a ****ing copout.</p>
<p>Leave your goals like that, what a wuss. Grow up.</p>
<p>If you tried 4 times to reinvent yourself, you obviously didnât try hard enough.</p>
<p>Think of the severity of death. You have lived. Sure, you were privileged and then things went down, but think of those that had **** to begin with? YOU have to make the most of it, not just sit down and think suicide. Itâs a cop out of dealing with your problems, and you donât even deal with them.</p>
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<p>Iâm sorry to hear that, because that is one of the things that would help you most in this situation. You need to find someone who can give you real answers to the hard questions about Christianity.</p>
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<p>See this is where I disagree with you. Itâs my opinion that that is a false ideal our society has created. It is possible to be happy in life without immersing yourself in peers as a teen.</p>
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<p>You donât have to let yourself decide that you have no life, youâve failed, etc. Youâve got at least a good half-century to do things before you can say that.</p>
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<p>As far as I can tell the only hole youâve dug yourself into is the mental hole of thinking youâve dug yourself into a hole!</p>
<p>Iâm no experienced counselor, but Iâd say that you should:</p>
<p>1: Find something to do. Read a book. Help somebody out. Go on a hike. Whatever. Thereâs a million things to do in the world.</p>
<p>2: Find a church, even if you still donât believe in God. Seriously. Thatâs the one place where anyone is welcome. If it isnât, youâve got the wrong kind of church and you should try another one.</p>
<p>3: Stop feeling sorry for yourself! The world is going to throw a lot of stuff at you over the next few decades, and most of it will be things you can either be happy or depressed about as you choose.</p>
<p>Concentrate on having the best life you can have here and now, rather than on all the things you think could have been better.</p>
<p>I hope I can be of some help to you, and I hope that your future life will be blessed!</p>
<p>^ Agree with these points completely.</p>
<p>Nankerphelge please listen to the people on here, they have given you great advice. I know it seems like the majority of teenagers are out partying but I guarantee you they are NOT. Your posts could basically describe my life (Iâm a 17 yr old girl) and MANY other peopleâs. Iâve never been drunk, tried drugs, gone to a real party, snuck out of my house, or anything like that. Of course it sounds cool and rebellious but itâs NOT. I have a friend who gets drunk every weekend and it just seems sad; I feel bad for her. She has no self esteem and she only does it for attention. Be thankful that youâre a good person who doesnât need to resort to getting high every day.</p>
<p>Iâm basically the most awkward, anti-social person in the world. Feeling this way is MUCH more the average teenage experience than all the partying and drinking. Iâve spent my entire Saturday watching Harry Potter weekend on ABC Family and posting on Tumblr and CC. It sounds like youâve created these huge expectations for yourself that are just unrealistic-- NOT just for you, but for anybody! There are very, very few people who actually have these thriving social lives every day and succeed in everything that they do. Thatâs just not what life is! Life is monotony and finding the comfort in small things. Shows like Gossip Girl and 90210 and Skins or whatever the youngins are watching are all SOO unrealistic and make teenage life seem much more glamorous and exciting than it is. </p>
<p>I am hoping beyond hope that âgoodbyeâ does not mean what I think it means. I donât even know you and itâs affecting me sooooooooo much; I canât even imagine what itâd be like for your family and people who actually know you. You sound like a great person, please PM me at any time if you need to talk.</p>
<p>Just keep in mind that none of this stuff matters in the future. Youâve said that youâve tried to re-do your image a few times, but going off to college is literally starting a completely new chapter in your life. None of the adults I know still talk to anyone in high school- none of it matters!!! My mom has been friended on Facebook by popular kids, people who bullied her, people who werenât even in her class⊠who you are in high school means absolutely NOTHING when it comes to real life.</p>
<p>You should read The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.</p>
<p>Lots of people are suicidal at some point in their life. Live through it. Donât die. There will be worthwhile times ahead.</p>
<p>Tell your parents or school counselor. Go see a doctor and consider counseling or medication. Work on your social skills little by little as you are able.</p>
<p>You sound as if you are suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder as well as Depression. Most of the people replying to you have given good suggestions, but you probably need professional help. Nothing will seem right to you until you are well. You are fortunate to recognize your issues, and can work to resolve them prior to college, so you can have the âgood timesâ you are looking for. Looking back to some imagined high school experience is not going to help you, but if you get professional assistance you can get well and start over in college. If your family situation isnât good, go to a school counselor, call a crisis help-line, or call your city/county mental health services office. There is help available, and there is a wonderful future waiting for you. MANY people had horrible childhoods and went on to do great things and live wonderful lives. It is up to you to get the help you need.
DO NOT try to handle this on your own, or through drugs/alcohol. That will only bring you down farther. Get help NOW!</p>
<p>I hope this isnât a joke. Because thatâd be pretty messed up. Someone should do something about this.</p>
<p>Youâre not suicidal.</p>
<p>I cry nearly everyday and is in permanent depression (for as long as I can remember). A major contributor to my depression is loneliness. I donât have any close friends that I can readily talk to. Iâve hung out⊠once?.. throughout all of high school. I feel that I also cannot relate to everyone else since I never had any fun times with others, but the very fact that youâre posting this on this site shows that youâre not suicidal. Neither am I. As much as I am emotionally beat every day, I understand that committing suicide is not a solution. Iâm sure you know too.</p>