Have I wasted my youth? (I'm suicidal)

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>Please read this, I need help and feel like killing myself. I am going through some sort of "mid life crisis" at 18 years old.</p>

<p>I'm 18 years old, senior in high school, and have never been to a party, never did drugs, and never had any close friends sense middle school. I have an extremely religious personal background and was very timid in high school, stayed away from a lot of people. </p>

<p>Today at the bus stop I overheard some kids, a year or so younger than me, telling some stories of their fun times on drugs and some of the crazy things they did. They were laughing and having a great time; one of them had a girlfriend at his side... I felt like crying because I couldn't relate to any of this. I used to be an awkward withdrawn person, but in the last year or so I have gained more confidence, bought better clothes, and finally have a decent haircut. My acne is almost gone... </p>

<p>People tend to like me/dare drawn to me, for some reason, I have had lots of chances to join a group of friends and have good times but each time I have turned it down. I don't know what I should do. If I try to join that crowd at that bus stop, I think it might be kind of creepy... a senior hanging out with a bunch of juniors? (I am pretty positive they are juniors). I am eventually going to a 4 year university; will that provide a good enough outlet to get my youthful energy out? Should I try to hook up with some old friends I have been avoiding for 3 years or is it too late? </p>

<p>I feel like if I don't go through a rebellious stage I will become one of those adults who never grow up and always act childish/annoying. </p>

<p>But somebody please help me, what should I start doing right now to have some fun before it is really to late and I am 27 or something with a full time job.</p>

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<p>First of all, get help. Second, we all have issues like this. Don’t worry, because you aren’t the only one who feels like this.</p>

3

<p>Go get drunk at a party, enjoy yourself, and come back.</p>

1 Like
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<p>I really don’t think it’s too late. Perhaps you haven’t found “your time” to break out of your timidness. If this problem doesn’t help itself until college, college will be THE opprotunity for you to start over anew. (my opinion)</p>

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<p>Nothing wrong with hanging out with juniors
They’re a year younger than you. Also, don’t do drugs just to do drugs; that’s not really something to be jealous of.
Try to reconnect with some of your old friends; who knows, they might really miss you and will welcome you back with alacrity (love that word).
Also, yes, college will be a good outlet.</p>

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<p>

Easier said than done, huh MIT?</p>

<p>You don’t have to get smashed to have fun. It’s a lot easier
 but if it’s not what you’re into, then find your fun elsewhere. You’re a senior in high school, but it’s not too late to find your niche. You have lots of fun times ahead in college, anyway.</p>

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<p>Exercise is really great. Running and biking are my personal favorites, but whatever works for you is the best. You can get involved with others who also do a certain sport which just makes the whole thing even better.</p>

<p>Marijuana is another option (it doesn’t give you a hangover; it’s not physically addicting; you can’t OD on it). If you live in California (I’m not sure about other states w/ MMJ laws) you could probably get your hands on a medical card for your depression or anxiety or something. As long as you use it in moderation (limit yourself to once or twice a week) I believe that it might help you.</p>

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<p>^ lawl</p>

<p>10char</p>

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<p>Dude do NOT commit suicide. Think about all of the people who will be affected by it. You don’t need a specific group of friends to be happy; I’m part of many different groups but don’t necessarily hang out with the same kids every weekend. I don’t have a lot of BEST friends, but I do have a lot of GOOD friends.</p>

<p>Just try and open up, people like that. As long as your respected in your school (don’t have any reasons for people to dislike you) then by all means present yourself to some people and I guarantee they’ll accept you.</p>

<p>Drugs are a last resort, I’ve never done them and probably never will but hey it’s better than death. </p>

<p>I kind of agree with MIT’s post lol hey you gotta do what you gotta do.</p>

10

<p>Suicide is permanent. You can’t decide you don’t like it later and go back.</p>

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<p>When this kid gets to college, he is going to explode onto the party scene. Just keep chugging through man, all I can say. This happens to you, me, and everyone else on this site. College will be great for you, I think.</p>

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<p>Be confident. Go for things. Everyone feels scared when they encounter that “something”. But you just need to say “screw my cowardly feelings, I’m going to do “blank” because I want to.” I’m not saying to do drugs
 just do it. <em>bad nike pun ftw</em></p>

<p>Everyone has been through what you feel (maybe not to an extreme). There’s a social wall between you and those “people you want to hang out with.” Just run through the wall and ignore the pain. You’ll be very satisfied once you’re on the other side.</p>

13

<p>Okay, not to be harsh but
: Do really think you’re the only person in your school who hasn’t done drugs or had sex or isn’t part of a quintessential high school clique? Have you ever read any other threads in this forum or the college life forum? Seriously, I’d say an overwhelming majority of the people who frequent this forum are just like the way you described yourself. So, no need to be so dramatic.</p>

<p>Are you at a loss by never having done anything illegal or “naughty”? Only if you sit around and pout about it. Get off your computer and go find a hobby. Maybe you’ll meet some friends who have the same interests you do.</p>

<p>Also, talk to someone legit (i.e. not a bunch of kids on the internet) if you’re really suicidal. That s**t is serious. Hope you feel better.</p>

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<p>Oh, and one more thing that I HAVE to clear up: I have no idea why so many people on this site think that those of us who smoke, go to parties regularly, and aren’t virgins or whatever are so much different than those of you who don’t participate in those activities. Your life isn’t going to suddenly change just because you go to a party and try E. Trust me. And also, don’t think that **** is going to change in college if the problem is you not making an effort to be social. If that’s the issue, then college is going to be even worse for you, so start being social NOW and figure out what it means to be you NOW.</p>

<p>Jesus, I sound like a life coach.</p>

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<p>College.</p>

<p>Don’t worry, you will open up naturally in college, or find your comfort zone there. It’s only less than a year before you go off into the wonderful world of college!</p>

<p>Do the world a favor. Don’t think of suicide at all. You have no idea how many ppl, from your family to friends to even CC’ers here if they find out, will be gravely affected emotionally.</p>

16

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<p>Heh, this describes me pretty well (except for the better clothes and decent haircut :P).</p>

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<p>The same thing happens to me sometimes, but when I put things into perspective I get snapped back to reality very quickly.</p>

<p>Almost all of these things you either wouldn’t remember or would regret at age 30. You haven’t missed much. To commit suicide at age 18 would be like walking out of a movie theater because you didn’t like the cartoon preshow.</p>

<p>You said you have a very religious background. Do you have a church you attend regularly?</p>

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</p>

<p>I’ve felt the same way in the past
 I highly recommend the book Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. It should be required reading for every teen.</p>

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<p>Oh my god. My freshman year, i was like this. I would sit at home Friday nights studying while my friends went to parties/basketball games. When i joined the soccer team in spring, i made a lot more friends and,went to alot more social events.</p>

<p>From then is changed.</p>

<p>I say join a rec sport or if you’re good enough, play on J.V and trust me your life will change.</p>

18

<p>Whatever you do don’t drink alcohol cause it doesnt make you happy it makes you sad and you can get really hurt when you are drunk. Like you could be in the road and not know it and get hit by a car or you might fall down stairs or say something stupid and get beat up or get sharpied. Everyone feels sad sometimes, just dont let your parents know and then you dont have to go to a doctor or anything. I think what you need is a girlfriend.</p>

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<p>Never resort to suicide. Some of my best friends are juniors there is nothing wrong with hanging out with them. It is also not necessary to resort to drugs/alcohol to solve your problems, develop close friendships. you obviously have something wonderful to offer the world if people are drawn to you. Try out new things. Have fun.</p>

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<p>OP, please stop & take some deep breaths. You are only 18
so, so much is ahead of you. </p>

<p>High school really was painful for me in many ways, and my mom promised me that college would be better. She was <em>so</em> right. </p>

<p><<i am=“” eventually=“” going=“” to=“” a=“” 4=“” year=“” university;=“” will=“” that=“” provide=“” good=“” enough=“” outlet=“” get=“” my=“” youthful=“” energy=“” out?=“”>></i></p><i am=“” eventually=“” going=“” to=“” a=“” 4=“” year=“” university;=“” will=“” that=“” provide=“” good=“” enough=“” outlet=“” get=“” my=“” youthful=“” energy=“” out?=“”>

<p>Oh, gosh, yes!!! Please hang in there. High school paled in comparison to college. In my case, many of the ‘cool kids’ in high school are still back in that little town & never went on to do much. In college, I found that I was appreciated, finally, for who I was, & didn’t have to try to be somebody else. Don’t feel you must ‘rebel’ just for rebellion’s sake
follow your heart & find what you love.</p>

<p>Life is long. I had an incredibly fun decade in my 20’s after graduation. You mentioned worrying about being 27 with a full-time job as a time that would be ‘too late’ for having fun. Not. Really. It was incredibly fun to be out in the world, supporting myself with no worries, being able to go anywhere I wished on vacation with friends, because I had earned the money & was a full adult. It wasn’t just vacations, either. I was single & had a fabulous time going out in the evening & weekends with friends and on dates. It was also incredibly fun & satisfying learning who I was in my career & climbing that ladder to greater positions of respect.</p>

<p>Now, being past the 20s, I promise you life keeps changing & giving you new reasons for joy in ways that are probably hard to appreciate at age 18.</p>

<p>*******<strong><em>Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem.</em></strong>******** </p>

<p>Please remember this! And try to find someone to talk to
a counselor, someone at your church, a relative. When you are feeling down, it can be hard to believe that things will ever look differently, but I promise you this
things always change. You won’t feel like this forever. </p>

<p>You asked what you can do now to have some fun. I’d suggest that you start by getting outside & into nature for awhile
a walk or hike or whatever appeals to you. Exercise really does lift mood. Yes, look up those friends if you like, but don’t feel that the answer is alcohol or drugs. Finding someone who you can really relate to will help more. Find somewhere you are needed
volunteer at a place that appeals to you - an animal shelter, a hospital, soup kitchen, nursing home. Helping others really is a great way to lift mood. You are needed. It doesn’t have to take much time or be much of a commitment
I was feeling down one day while at a store, waiting for a prescription, & had a wonderful conversation with a lonely, very old lady. It was brief, but I could tell she appreciated having someone to talk to, and it really lifted my spirits. </p>

<p>Get involved in looking at colleges & finding some that intrigue you
they are out there! You will start imagining a future that is, really, just around the corner.</p>

<p>Good luck to you. Keep posting. Let us know how you are.</p>
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