<p>I registered so I could ask this question - </p>
<p>Last academic year (Fall 2009) I applied to some BME Ph.D programs with a crappy GPA (3.3) and was rejected to all in Spring 2010. Since Fall 2010, I've been doing my masters in BME at my alma mater as a kind of "stall plan" while I get ready to apply again this fall. At the same time, I'm working in a lab doing some research; just last week, I submitted my first paper for publication. </p>
<p>Even though I'm doing well in my classes so far (4.0), have done some publishable research, and been to some other research-related things like poster conferences, I feel tired and unhappy. </p>
<p>Since I'm a master's student, I have to pay tuition out of my own pocket (bill due soon). I get paid $20/hr (before taxes) for working in the lab out of my professor's fund because I suppose he believes in me, but this means I have to work 40hrs/wk on top of classes in order to support myself (rent, food, TUITION, etc.). In addition, I am 80% of the time the only person in the lab, and I get very lonely and depressed. My professor is retired, so he only comes once a week, and has no money to support other students.</p>
<p>Sometimes I talk to myself, and I whittle away most of the hours playing Yahoo Chess when my brain hurts too much to research. I've even started personifying laboratory equipment just to have some sort of social connection with something. I am literally losing my mind. Can you imagine not seeing anybody for 4 days straight? That's what my life is like.</p>
<p>Am I just being a cry-baby about it all, or should I seriously look for a way out of this agonizing situation?</p>
<p>I think your feelings are normal and even though it is a tough time in your life, you can get through it! Just try to keep focused on your goals and dreams in the long term.</p>
<p>Also, I can relate to working in a lab by yourself. This summer, I arrived 2 weeks earlier than the other “lab mates” and spent most of the time working alone only meeting my professor briefly before the others came. It can feel very lonely and even if you like the work, the lack of social interaction makes it somewhat less interesting. </p>
<p>How long is your program? Would switching labs affect your time to completion of the master’s?</p>
<p>It’s an unpleasant situation, but at the same time, you’re publishing, and your access to lab equipment and supplies isn’t limited by others’ needs and schedules, giving you a major advantage over bigger, more densely-staffed labs. Can you find some social contact through other people in your program (e.g. have lunch with master’s students in nearby labs)? Are there journal clubs, seminars, other events where you could connect with people who might be in a similar situation? Or maybe befriend someone in a bigger lab and tag along on coffee breaks? It would take a bit of work on your part, but taking that step would reward you with at least <em>some</em> social contact. IMO, having friends/acquaintances around – even if they’re not necessarily in your immediate lab area – could help immensely.</p>
<p>If you’ve tried all that, and the loneliness is still adversely affecting your work and motivation, and you still have a considerable amount of time left, I would try to switch labs. No need to stay in a miserable situation when there’s something you can do about it. You might also try talking to your program administrators – they’ve likely seen students in similar situations, and would probably have some ideas as to what you can do.</p>
<p>You might benefit from social interaction, and the spec doesn’t count for this. You’re still on a campus, perhaps you might find an intramural sport or interest club that suits you. If all else fails, campus gyms offer classes eg. weight lifting, aerobics, this could be a way to meet people and have a bit of fun before you start a phd.</p>
<p>Thanks for the feedback - I’m glad to hear the reassurance and advice. Photography has been a hobby of mine for years, but somehow it got lost in the chaos when I struggled with schoolwork. This past week, I challenged myself to shoot a beautiful picture everyday and it has forced me to actively search for interactions - plus as the spring semester approaches, the other lab mates are slowly starting to trickle in, too. Finally, I feel my mental health is returning back to normal!</p>
<p>how are you attending your alma mater and not have any friends to hang out with? You don’t have anyone to call near where you went to school for 4 years as an undergrad? Just a little shocking</p>
<p>Try to make friends outside through student orgs. People in the working world have it a lot worse. I don’t think you know what quarter life crisis is… you are just a little lonely.
Being in school is awesome, I suggest that you take advantage of it.</p>
<p>I don’t find that particularly shocking. Most of my friends headed home after they graduated from college, and the few that stayed in Atlanta moved on to new jobs and new groups of friends afterwards. It can be kind of isolating to be in grad school when a lot of your college friends are on the 9-5 circuit - they don’t understand why you can’t come to the bar with them at 6 pm on a Thursday evening (or on a Saturday when you’re trying to meet a deadline, for that matter).</p>
<p>OP, are you unhappy and depressed because of social circumstances (loneliness, being functionally poor) or are you unhappy and depressed because of the work that you are doing? Loneliness and poorness are side effects of graduate school, but there are definitely ways to combat them and if you are otherwise loving your work, they can be gotten over for 5 years in exchange for the PhD. But if you feel this way AND you feel like you don’t really like your work enough to sacrifice social interaction (I mean not ALL of it, just most of it) and wages for the next 5 years, think seriously about going to grad school.</p>
<p>And I say this not in a negative way; a lot of people think it’s a personal failing if someone ‘washes out’ somewhere in the pipeline because of these reasons, but studies have found that doctoral students are more depressed than the general population and that when asked to draw cartoons of them working at research, they usually show someone working alone and looking stressed out. It’s sort of a stressful, nervous, arduous process. Whether or not it’s worth it is up to the individual.</p>