<p>My son is applying to BS (for ninth grade next year). I have been carefully reading various posts about the schools he is interested in/ and where he has interviewed. I am very concerned that several posts about hazing at St Andrew's School in Delaware have gone without comment. Is that because some hazing is expected? If anyone know anything about the hazing at St Andrew's School, please respond (you can PM me if you prefer) as it was one of my son's top three choices. Thanks--worried mom</p>
<p>Well, I'm also applying to St. Andrews and I'm very excited about it.</p>
<p>As for hazing, no offense, but you can't be so naiive as to expect some perfect environment where no one picks on one another. I believe that risk is always there and that fear of being excluded makes me scared myself. </p>
<p>I have no information about st. andrews specifically, but I can say with certainty, jerks are everywhere >< can't do anything about that</p>
<p>I have a really good friend at St. Andrew's(We are unrelated brothers)... I'll ask him if you have something specific... He says he is never bullied, but he is a popular guy. He plays sports and would never really be a good target.</p>
<p>I'll be honest. If he is bullied at his current school or if he is unpopular... He might be bullied at a boarding school and he might be unpopular. It probably won't be a complete turn around and your son's problems won't disappear.</p>
<p>Were there actually <em>several</em> posts about hazing at SAS-DE? I saw only one, but it sounded a bit unsubstantiated and nobody commented on it. I am curious as well, though, because my D is applying there.</p>
<p>You can ask the school if they have a written policy regarding hazing and/or how violations are handled. We had some experience with it with my freshman son (at a different school) and the school's response was crucial. No policy can eliminate bullying entirely, but you need to know at what level the admin will step in and what the repercussions (sp?) would be.</p>
<p>If your child plays intense male varsity sports, hazing will be mostly unavoidable. I mean really intense, big team sports. And this rarely gets reported to DC, because it's... sports.</p>
<p>Hazing like being forced to die your hair or shave it all off in the middle of the night? That isn't hazing... That is brotherhood. I'm all for it in all honesty, and don't attack my views on that one. </p>
<p>I don't know what you mean by hazing... That isn't hazing in my mind.</p>
<p>i always thought of bullying and hazing as two different things. bullying is a bit more mild, common in both genders (actually more of girls in terms of verbal etc etc) things like catfights, gossip, ridicule, blahblahblah. those things.
and hazing is more common in boys, the type where a newbie is thrown into the lake in freezing temperatures on the first day of school. a bit more physical, a bit more life-threatening in my opinion.</p>
<p>in my vocabulary, then, hazing is dead. you have bullying, but that's in every school.</p>
<p>hahah If your big enough your not getting hazed trust me....I mean sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself. Ill deal with getting thrown in a lake...but basketball team at my school tries to take off your clothes and shoot you with paintball guns. I mean I just wasn't having any of that. </p>
<p>If you stand up to them and call out the fact that you made the team in the first place then they'll back off. They'll think your a cocky freshman, but your never FORCED to do anything, unless your defenseless.</p>
<p>I saw two posts regarding bullying/hazing at St Andrews and I was waiting to see if someone else would reply. I have a 9th grade daughter there, not a son, and I think the experiences could be different. </p>
<p>From what my daughter said, three boys from the Sophomore class were asked to leave because of bullying a student in their dorm. From what second hand information my daughter had, they seemed to deserve their punishment.</p>
<p>I think High School can be a rough time for many kids (try googling for I Hate High School) but the measure of the school has to be how the school responds. I don't have the information to judge this accurately, because all I know is that three boys were asked to leave. I don't know what level of behavior it took to get the administrations attention, and I don't know if other kids were let off the hook. </p>
<p>If I were applying, I would certainly not cross SAS off my list because of this. I would ask the school questions about it. The responses of some of the students on this forum (if you are big enough and play enough sports you won't get bullied) are cold comfort for the smaller, less athletic kid, but I agree with westcoast and rythern that there are probably jerks everywhere. I don't think it is typical of SAS in particular.</p>
<p>PM me if you like.</p>
<p>It's uncomfortable but its true. That the only 99% way to make sure you don't get bullied, because you always have your teammates there to make sure your doing alright. Like italian said its a brotherhood, but even if your not athletic I'm sure not to many kids get bullied.</p>
<p>In my school, just because your quiet or don't play a sport you don't get bullied. You get bullied when your an annoying little kid who won't shut up or you follow and pester people. I doubt your children are like that, I wouldn't be worried.</p>
<p>I've never understood that attitude that hazing and bullying isn't very serious (I'm not talking to the OP). It is serious, it can ruin people's lives. I know it happens, and a little picking on people is inavoidable. But small things can grow. It is, not matter what anyone believes, the person that is bullied fault. Ever. </p>
<p>It's absolutely horrible to say or imply stuff like that.</p>
<p>I never said it was the person's fault, I'm simply letting the OP know from a kids point of view the kind of kids that get bullied. This will let her know if she should feel comfortable or not, I didn't imply anything and don't see where you pulled that from.</p>
<p>I don't bully anyone, but being a parent it's impossible to know if your child is going to be bullied or not, just don't get the misconception that if they are small or quiet that they will be bullied. Cuz thats not true...</p>
<p>"Hazing" today isn't what it used to be. Even if hazing goes on within a certain team,it may not be a HUGE deal. The only "hazing" I have encountered at my school usually involves calling a good looking senior, or doing all the jobs no one wants to do ( carrying water coolers everywhere, etc.)</p>
<p>Carrying water coolers is not hazing, that's just your duty as an underclassman.</p>
<p>hazing and bulleying's terrrible!!! XD</p>
<p>First of all, if your child is independent enough to take on boarding school on his own (which includes leaving his family, friends, and life to begin a new one) that means he has courage. Just tell him to tell his "friends" to back off if they're trying to haze him... as long as he knows who he is when he's going, he won't fall victim to any of it. Also, there are so many people around at bs, (counselors, teachers, faculty) that I'm surprised so-called "hazing" goes on at all. Teenagers will be teenagers, but your son doesn't have to be stupid about it... in the few cases of hazing that HAVE occurred, there have been consequences. It's becoming less and less common.</p>
<p>Personally, I don't have anything against "hazing", but that's because where I come from, hazing is ALWAYS in good fun, and never directed toward an individual... we called it initiation. All freshmen who made volleyball got woken up at 4 in the morning, driven to school, and the seniors did our hair/makeup/picked out our clothing. I myself was in a red tutu, my school's shirt, different tube socks, different boots, and had my hair ALL over the place. If you laugh at yourself, it's not so bad of an experience... my teammates and I all bonded after that. However, when hazing is done for the soul purpose of hurting an individual, I don't think it's OK... there's a definite line.</p>
<p>Ok. Sorry for the ramble.</p>
<p>Hey everyone, I am currently at SAS and this is the first hazing incident that I have heard of at this school, even from the seniors and everything. This one hazing incident was really not even that bad, and, because of St. Andrew's value of honor and kindness, the three people involved were immediately kicked out. The discipline committee took over 4 hours deciding about this, and then the Headmaster and the faculty heads spent many more hours after that. The headmaster believes that this is probably the worst thing that could have happened here because of the values he tries, and succeeds, at instilling in all of us here. Please, do not judge our school by just this one incident because so many more amazing things happen here that none of you have heard here.</p>
<p>Thanks, you can PM me at any time if you have any questions.</p>