<p>One of my twins is in the same boat, but seems to be coping nicely after the initial disappointment (perhaps largely because many of his friends are in a similar situation). One of the problems is that the importance of the whole college admission thing is vastly overblown; in ten years, no one will care where he was admitted. However, at 18 they have no perspective. Among bright seniors, college acceptance is the universal badge of honor.</p>
<p>In my view, the best advice is simply to help your S to move on. If he wants to be on wait lists, tell him to simply put his name in but plan to go to a school where he has been admitted, with the attitude that if something good happens it will be a bonus. Despite the happy ending described in post 15, unless he has a good, nonadmission-related reason, a gap year is likely to only prolong the agony.</p>
<p>I’m sorry kids are disappointed, but I will never understand why kids apply to schools they do not want to attend. Pssst…if you don’t want to attend, it’s really not a safety.</p>
<p>I would encourage my child to go to one of the accepted schools and plan for a transfer later.</p>
<p>When my D1 was waitlisted from her ED, we were prepared for possible waitlist and transfer later. She probably worked harder her senior spring than any other semester, she ended up with the highest GPA in her senior class. I told her that she needed to keep up her grades if she wanted to transfer later. As it turned out, her GC did used her new transcript and additional recommendation letters from her senior year teachers to get her off her waitlists.</p>
<p>Lasma – I agree that if your D is truly interested in Colorado College, there’s no harm in sending back the card. I’d also recommend a letter reiterating her interest and updating her file with new awards, activities, honors, etc. A call from the GC to support her application is a good idea, too.</p>
<p>BUT…Be aware that at many colleges, financial aid is severely restricted for students admitted from the waitlist. At some schools no aid is available at all. That means that a student whose family is able to pay full tuition may have a better chance of clearing the waitlist than one who has financial need.</p>
<p>Before your D gets enthusiastic about staying on the CC waitlist, I’d consult the school’s financial aid office to find out about their policy regarding financial aid for students accepted from the waitlist.</p>
<p>If your daughter doesn’t want to be on a waiting list, accept her choice. Some students just want the process to be over, so they can turn their attention to the future, including the prospect of attending whichever college they have said “yes” to.</p>
<p>Wow…I am sad for you and your son, but don’t give up hope. Going to an Ivy League is not for everyone and there are many great colleges and universities to consider.</p>
<p>Last year when my D was a senior, we learned there is a college or university for everyone (depending on what you are willing or able to pay). Consider looking at smaller colleges with great alumni support, they will have a wider variety of need and merit based scholarships. </p>
<p>This year my S is a senior, declined at his 2 reach schools, accepted at his 3rd choice and 5th choice (safety), waitlisted at 4th choice. His 3rd choice made the decision easy though by accepting him into the limited enrollment Architecture program. </p>
<p>It’s interesting to me that while the Ivy League have become so impossibly competitive, there are now so many colleges and universities in this country I don’t know how they all survive. Find a college that is a good choice for your son.</p>
<p>I’m personally not a fan of gap years…get him into a school where he can do basic coursework and then transfer credits. That will also save money.</p>
<p>I’m not crazy about the unplanned gap year idea either. There are too many other good options.</p>
<p>OP, If he could be happy at his safety, then congratulations, he’s done. Go visit when it gets nice and love it. If the waitlist bears fruit, then even better. If it’s really not satisfactory and if he has the stomach for it and really wants to pursue them there are opportunities to take a second swing at getting into a school with a better fit.</p>
<p>Some schools have a late deadlines or a rolling application process. </p>
<p>NACAC usually posts a list of schools that still have space available at the beginning of May. Often there are some pretty good schools on the list. I expect the list to be longer this year given the economy and yield uncertainty. I posted a summary of the list last year. </p>
<p>University of Edinburgh also has a “Freshman Year Abroad” program with an application in June. It shouldn’t come as a shock who their audience is. </p>
<p>There are decent universities in Canada that have late application deadlines.</p>
<p>I am a huge fan of gap years planned for the right reason. Had my daughter had a year to mature before heading to college, I think she would have graduated by now. And if I had to do it all over again, I would have almost insisted she defer their offer of admission for a year. But it’s a culture or mindset. At her public school, this would have seemed weird. At my younger kids’ private schoo, this is absolutely no big deal and every year a few defer for a year or go to boarding/prep school for a PG year. Of kids I know who took a gap year, they are now at Yale, Columbia and Dartmouth. </p>
<p>Also, son applied to two schools that he considered “safeties” but since the time applications were submitted, he had really cooled on attending for various reasons. In fact, while he has yet to hear from GTown (not a safety but it fits the premise of applying while not wanting to perhaps attend), the fact that this economic mess put their entire science building on indefinite hold has made a huge impact on his decisions and desire to even be accepted. Sure it would be great, but at the same time, he is not into the whole international studies thing and their bio program is going to suffer without some updated facilities and soon.</p>
<p>A truer thing was never said. We’ve always said on CC that finding that real safety is the HARDEST and most important part of the college application process. For those who follow that advice, the college application process will always end on a positive note.</p>
<p>It can be very, very difficult for high-statted kids who are legitimate candidates at schools with acceptance rates of 15% and below to pick a “safety” that they really would be happy to attend. Especially if they do not live in a state with a great state flagship. </p>
<p>What is a “match” school for a kid with 2300+ SATs, an A average, all APs and honors, good ECs, awards, top 10% of their class? Can it be a “match” school if it accepts less than 20%? What is the “safety” the kid should be happy to attend? If the kid lives in VA, CA, or MI, the answer may be clear. If not…</p>
<p>My D1 had a similar experience. 17 applications, 3 acceptances (though only 1 should would consider and the 17th school she applied to), 4 waitlists and many many rejections. The rejections were all reach schools. She had amazing stats, ecs, everything. Why all the rejections? The rejections/waitlists were at schools we considered match/reaches. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why all the rejections and waitlists. I have since realized that our definition of match vs. reach was wrong. A reach is a college that accepts so few and all the applicants look exactly the same on paper: amazing stats, ecs, everything. So she looked just like everyone else. Yes, on paper it looked like she should have been accepted; but so does everyone else. There was nothing about her that was truly different from every other amazing applicant.</p>
<p>Fast forward 3 years. Now it is D2s turn to apply. We were 3 years smarter. D2 had the same amazing stats, ecs, everything. However, we were much more realistic this time. We developed a list where she would be happy and yet had a much much higher chance of being admitted. The criteria we used were: what schools had curriculum that suited her needs and where were her stats at or above their 75% percentile. We were determined that D2 would not have the disappointment that D1 (and we) experienced. We also sought to get D2 out of the RD pack by securing a recruited athlete admission. We knew that D2 on paper looked like every other amazing applicant. She had to have something that made her different. We were lucky and I am very grateful. She was accepted ED as a recruit. But that is not the point. </p>
<p>The point is that realistic expectations are important. Don’t expect those reach admissions. Know what reach means. Lower your sights and find schools that match your child’s academic pursuits (and financial needs). Don’t only hear what you want to hear about your child; hear the reality.</p>
<p>SO TRUE. I’m stuck there right now with my junior, who has fallen in love with a school that will be a match if she can improve her SAT/ACT scores, otherwise it’s a reach. It has a 37% acceptance rate, so even being a match is no guarantee. Helping her to find a school she likes that won’t feel like “settling for second best” to her will be my greatest challenge in the next 6 months.</p>
<p>To the OP - if your son is National Merit then he must be truly bright. I’d encourage him to look at the positives of his safety school and to go there and work his butt off to excel. If he does well and still wants to transfer, he’ll be in a better position to do so. And there’s always the chance that it will turn out that he likes this school.</p>
<p>Our Guidance office jokes that no matter where kids are going in August, most kids are at their first choice school by October. In other words, whether the school they attend is their first choice or not, many kids like the whole college experience so much that after a few weeks they forget there was ever another school they would have preferred to attend.</p>
<p>We are going through this whole process with S1. We were “dumb” as a wooden post throughout this process. Only now, I am getting a hang of it. Luckily, S1 was an easy material to work with in that his natural abilities compensated for the all around cluelessness on our part. Even so, we would have had the same predicament that Shisonherway is describing in that, looking back, we were wildly optimistic based on his scores and GPA, etc. </p>
<p>One thing that save him is the fact that he applied to and got an acceptance from non-binding EA U Chicago that is within top 10 (USNWR) and ranked best in his chosen field (economics). With that in the back pocket, he only applied to super competitive upper Ivies for RD. Probability wise, we are bracing ourselves for a slaughter on March 31. </p>
<p>If he had not utilized the EA opportunity, he may have blithely applied to HYPSMW(wharton), U Chicago, etc based on his scores, and gotten rejected everywhere: at the level of these schools’ competitiveness and caliber, it’s truly a crap shoot for the reason described by Shesonherway. </p>
<p>Moral of the story: if some match/reach schools provide non-binding EA, apply early, even if they are not the top choices. If you get admission, that’s a REAL safety net. If you get outright rejected, that’s an early warning. Perhaps you should radically rethink about safeties and matches for RD and include schools that are couples of steps lower than your current hopefuls. If you get deferred, then perhaps cast your net wider among matches and reaches.</p>
<p>Now that I know how truly unpredictable it is among the top 10 schools, I shudder at our naivety and stupidity for blithely thinking “well, his stats are so good, surely one of these 5 will accept him”. We lucked out. I guess it’s beginner’s luck. With our S2, we will calibrate far more carefully.</p>
<p>I appreciate what HyeonJLee posted. I would really like everyone to notice important words in the post: “blithely”, “naivety”, “stupidity”, “cluelessness”. While her (I assume you are a Mom) son had a great result and congratulations to him, I do believe it was “beginner’s luck”. Most 1st time outcomes, given her list of applications, are not so positive. I know I’m sounding negative here but it really is realism. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of thinking “so-and-so’s kid got in, so mine will too. My kid is just as good (even better) than so-and-so.” That may be true but it just doesn’t matter. It’s what else does the student bring to the table; what makes the adcoms want that student at the school. Sounds subjective; it may be. But reality bites. A very healthy dose of negativity may save a lot of heartbreak.</p>
<p>Don’t ignore the possibility of being accepted from a WL this year. This is and will be a very strange year for admissions. Very few schools feel comfortable with their projections. The economy has played havoc with past admission statistics. Schools are very concerned about projections based on past history. In most schools, more people were WL than in past years. WL activity should be quite active this year. Don’t be surprised if you begin to see WL activity in many schools as early as towards the end of April, when schools have the first idea of how deposits are running. This is much earlier than in past years. Schools are also anticipating a higher than usual “summer melt”.</p>
<p>Oh I am so sorry
That is so hard to see.
not exactly the same boat here because we made sure S cast a very wide net - 15 schools - 7 acceptances 1 waitlist - about a 50% return
but it is still tough because he was denied at all the schools he wanted
the acceptances do include a few schools that were not safeties and that does take the sting out a little
BUT he may end up at one of those safeties - and happily
so hopefully the safeties your kid chose are ones he could actually see himself attending
and if not - focus on encouraging him to shine there and transfer out
not the end of the world - though it feels that way to these guys
I hurt for you and your child</p>
<p>I am sorry that this is happening to your son. It is hard for so many schools these days as each class seems to be more competitive than the previous one. That and the record number of applicants, thanks to a baby boom that occured from the mid-eighties to early nineties have made it so tough.
This happened to one of my daughter’s best friends from hs. She ONLY got into her safety, which she had no interest in. What was so painful for her was that all of her friends seemed to get into their top schools with relative ease. It just didn’t make sense because she was a strong student that seemed to have all of her ducks lined up. The one thing that was slightly weak was her SAT’s.
Although it was tough for her , she did attend her safety for one year and transferred to a school she was waitlisted for the previous year. Now she is happy and learned a few things along the way.
I always feel so bad when the accepted posts pop up here…there are always some kids that truly seem devastated.
I hope that whatever you and he decide works out for you all.</p>