<p>Any comfort words I can give to my friend whose son was rejected and waitlisted to all but one of the colleges he applied to. My friend's son has stellar scores (4.7 weighted gpa), in the top 5% of his class, was president and vice-president of his class, started a business program in the school and top athlete (don't know his SAT scores). Rightfully so, he applied to highly selective schools. Even his safe school weightlisted him! The one he got accepted to is the other safe school but he's not too thrilled about it. I've known this kid since elementary and has always had the straight A's! All of our circle of friends are dumbfounded by this!! I don't know what to say to my friend. This has been such a blow (and humbling) experience for her first child she is sending off to college!</p>
<p>Ginger40: In many ways, I can say these words – join the club. My son was waitlisted by two Ivies and Duke and rejected by two other top 10 schools. He has outstanding everything, and his friends, too, have been blown away with the decisions. Fortunately, those friends have been there for him the past few days, and they have told him how proud they are of him. They would have never had the guts to apply to such outstanding schools, and they, too, had stellar stats, scores and ECs. </p>
<p>There are no magic words to make him feel better. I’ve tired. Instead, we are looking at the positives from the schools that offered him admission – and there are plenty. Your friend’s son could take a gap year. He could go to that safety school and transfer. He could also look to see if any other school that he has any interest in has rolling admissions and still takes apps. He could let the schools that waitlisted him know that he has interest in them. He just might get lucky. I wish I could offer the right words, but I do not know what they are. But I do wish him and your friend well.</p>
<p>This is soooo hard… but this is where the advice “love your safety” comes into play.</p>
<p>Play out the waitlists - maybe something will happen there, but if not, I truly believe that things happen for a reason. This kid, from how you describe him, will bloom where he’s planted. A couple of things to say (that are TRUE): </p>
<p>1) Highly selective schools really DO have TOO MANY QUALIFIED APPLICANTS. Every year there are some really head-scratching rejections. Your friend’s son may just have lost the statistical crapshoot.</p>
<p>2) It’s THEIR loss. He would have been a tremendous addition to their campus. They didn’t see it. Too bad for them. Kick butt at the safety (or the waitlist school that eventually admits him) and then, after grad school, when he’s ruling the world, they’ll WISH they could count him as an alum. Oh well, too bad.</p>
<p>When there are actually no words or actions that can comfort a good friend in this position you can always try humor. Below is a copy of an actual letter someone sent to an Admissions Committee. </p>
<p>"Dear Admissions Committee:
Having reviewed the many rejection letters I have received in the last few weeks, it is with great regret that I must inform you I am unable to accept your rejection at this time.
This year, after applying to a great many colleges and universities, I received an especially fine crop of rejection letters. Unfortunately, the number of rejections that I can accept is limited.
Each of my rejections was reviewed carefully and on an individual basis. Many factors were taken into account - the size of the institution, student-faculty ratio, location, reputation, costs and social atmosphere.
I am certain that most colleges I applied to are more than qualified to reject me. I am also sure that some mistakes were made in turning away some of these rejections. I can only hope they were few in number.
I am aware of the keen disappointment my decison may bring. Throughout my deliberations, I have kept in mind the time and effort it may have taken for you to reach your decision to reject me.
Keep in mind that at times it was necessary for me to reject even those letters of rejection that would normally have met my traditionally high standards.
I appreciate your having enough interest in me to reject my application. Let me take the opportunity to wish you well in what I am sure will be a successful academic year.
SEE YOU IN THE FALL!
Sincerely,
XXXXXXXXXX</p>
<p>Suggest to your friend that she and her son lean heavily on their Guidance Counselor to contact the waitlist schools. They should have a serious discussion with the GC about which WL school is his top choice, and that’s where the GC should put all of his eggs.</p>
<p>A classmate of my son was accepted nowhere by this time his senior year – rejected or WL everywhere. The GC really pushed one particular school, he was accepted off the WL, and he’s now a sophomore there.</p>
<p>Unless you are a very good friend, I wouldn’t say anything for a little while, even then, I would let her bring it up. A very close relative of mine bit my head off when I just brought up the college process, not even about her son. It is a very personal, emotional process. When your friend is ready to talk, VeryHappy’s suggestion is very good. But I would listen more than I would give advice.</p>
<p>Ugh…how awful. My comfort words would be–we’re just stunned with that news and hope Johnny’s doing okay and we know he’ll get thru this with your all’s support.</p>