<p>Long-time lurker finally driven to post by what is likely excessive anxiety about my D's choices. D is a college senior, very smart and willing to spend time on the things that interest her but not on the things that don't. She has a solid 3.5 GPA, and while she is somewhat disappointed that it is not higher (she got straight A's in high school without trying much at all, and started college with that image of herself), she is not willing to work a lot to improve it. Which is not to say she is a slacker--she does the work that is assigned--but she is not going to read the material several times to figure out all of the nuances to get an A when she can read it once and get a B+.</p>
<p>Which brings me to my present anxiety. D has an incomplete from a summer class--not her fault that she had the incomplete in the first place; the professor who taught the class left for sabbatical without giving the class instructions about how to turn in the final paper. BUT D has not followed up at all -- I have told her that the grade is not going to automatically change itself, but she just keeps putting off dealing with the paper issue at all. The immediate concern is that transcripts are due in a little more than a week for campus interviews, and if the incomplete grade is not a disqualifier it will certainly be an unnecessary distraction.</p>
<p>We have had two conversations about this in the past five days, and I am trying to convince myself I need to let it go. The ball is in her court. She knows what she has to do, she just has to do it. But then I think that she really doesn't understand the stakes here--she can see the logic of how an incomplete grade is not a good thing but she doesn't really see it from the perspective of a potential employer. So that makes me think I should try (again) to convince her that she really needs to get on this yesterday . . . .</p>
<p>I think you have got it right when you say “the ball is in her court”. She is a college senior, at this stage in the game she needs to step up and resolve what seems like a very simple issue (I am assuming the paper is complete, and she just needs instructions on how to get it to the professor on sabbatical). But I also think you might be overestimating a prospective employers reaction to the “incomplete”. Your D has a solid transcript and I think employers will be interested in talking to her. She simply will have to explain the “incomplete” from the summer term.</p>
<p>Check the school rules on how incomplete grades are handled. In some schools, an incomplete grade turns into an F if not completed within a certain amount of time.</p>
<p>You’re on the right track here. You do need to let it go. You’ve expressed your concerns to her, and for a soon-to-be-college-graduate, anything beyond that is helicoptering. This is her problem to fix. Easier said than done, though.</p>
<p>She might surprise you and take care of it before the deadline. I know my son puts things off until the last possible moment, but he always pulls through. It’s just hard for me to watch, since I get uncomfortable with that kind of timeline.</p>
<p>Your D sounds like mine, also a senior. Yesterday I finally sent her a reminder email listing the 4 things she identified during the summer as needing immediate attention when she got back to school, because 4 weeks in she hasn’t done any of them yet. I’m sure at least one of them will be neglected, and the consequences could be serious. I have to bite my tongue to keep from nagging her about this stuff every time we chat, because the conversation never ends well, and the nagging doesn’t work anyway. It’s infuriating, especially for a parent who has always had her t’s crossed and her i’s dotted. So I have no advice, but lots of sympathy!</p>
<p>Is it possible OP’s daughter is wrong? The prof DID give the class instructions for how to turn in the final paper? Perhaps OP’s D knows her argument for reversing the Incomplete will fail.</p>
<p>Hs Senior, ride them hard. College Senior, she needs to be independent by now. You have told her, and it is her responsibility now to follow through. Better to learn the lesson now when the stakes are lower than to learn them later when they have much larger consequences (misses a deadline at work).</p>
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<p>Even if she gets the paper in now, there is no assurance that the Prof will grade it and update her grade in time for the transcript next week. IMHO, for all practical purposes, she has missed this deadline.</p>
<p>True, but when the incomplete comes up in an interview, the explanation of why it was there in the first place and the point that the paper has now been handed in and she is just waiting for the prof to update will sound a lot better than “yeah, I really have to get on that” :-)</p>
<p>But, it is hers to handle at this point. Easier said than done I know.</p>
<p>Will and incomplete prevent her from graduating? Is this a class in her major? As a senior in college, why do you even know this information :D. She should be dealing with this on her own and if she has to go another semester to make up this class, oh well, and btw honey, how will YOU pay for that extra semester. It’s time to let her learn from her own mistakes.</p>
<p>WoundTooTight: much sympathy, no advice. I cannot tell you how many situations my S has landed in through airy assumptions that things will be fine or can be taken care of at the last minute. Nagging him has had no effect. I will say that his latest fiasco–which ironically was not really his fault, unlike the others–seems to have taught him something at last. Maturity does eventually come into play.</p>
<p>I very much doubt that potential employers would care too much about an incomplete, especially if it is not going to prevent her from graduating. I do agree with this, though:</p>
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<p>And I would be very concerned about the incomplete turning into an F.</p>
<p>I agree with Opera Dad! It’s time to just strongly express your concerns and then see what occurs! When my rising senior S ( high school) was in 9th grade honors biology the teacher, in her infinite wisdom, told my wife and me to " let my son go" and suffer the consequences of not being compulsive ( this had to do with labs not the actual test material). That was the exact wrong advice which we did not take. Actually her motives and actions throughout the entire year were suspect from that point on. However, that being said, if you are constantly nagging ( as I have done at times) it can strain your relationship and also not allow your child to grow into responsibility. She is not a 14 yr old but a 21yr old ! Time to be timely, organized, considerate, and neat!</p>
<p>You’ve gotten some great advise here. I would highlight, while it may not keep her from getting an interview, she will probably be asked about the incomplete at an interview. Her answer will make all the difference. One that expresses she’s been proactive and is waiting for an administrative change is fine. One that simply shows she has yet to address it will not go over well. Also, the point made about a window of opportunity in which to take care of this before an incomplete turns into an F may very well exist. I think it is appropriate to address both of these items with your daughter one last time and then step away. If you feel better, put it in an email and don’t discuss it again. Try not to get emotional in speaking to her or in an email, you are passing on facts she may have overlooked, not pleading with her to ‘finally take care of unfinished business’.</p>
<p>Find the student handbook online.
Identify the section where it explains what happens to an incomplete grade after whatever period of time (turns into an F etc)
Cut and paste it into an email to the student.
Then keep your mouth shut.
Including afterwards, when you are really going to want to mention that you had told her this would happen…
;)</p>
<p>Why do you even know she has an incomplete? Sounds like D hasn’t learned to deal with these issues because she doesn’t really have to. She knows you’ll remind her over and over again but she wont take care of it until she feels like it. It sounds like you worry a lot.</p>
<p>Hmmmm, think Vitrac may be on to something. It seems so simple of an issue. Really just a phone call or an e-mail. Given that little effort is require to resolve this, one wonders if D did miss the deadline or if the paper is, in fact, completed.</p>
<p>I think its fine to discuss it with her. However, if she chooses not to address the issue then that is her choice. She is far to old for you to be doing these things for her.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s an automatic warning sign just because ‘mom’ knows her D has an incomplete. I know my son got a 100 on his diffy-q quiz last week (and not because I stalk his grades). What does that say about me? Sometimes parents and students talk. My son was happy about the grade so he called. I’m sure there are others I never hear about, lol. This was probably frustrating for the D so she shared it with ‘mom’. If nothing else, it may have come up when her parents asked about the semester grades last May. “Oh, I got 2 A’s, 1B+, 1B, and an incomplete because…” Sounds like a reasonable conversation to me.</p>
<p>Isn’t everyone in the class outraged over the “I” they received when the prof didn’t instruct the class on how to submit the final paper? If the story is true, then someone in the class who is more proactive than OP’s D would have already addressed the issue with administration.</p>