Help choosing a private day school in lower CT or Westchester

<p>Our son's only in 5th grade, but we are thinking about changing to private school for 6-12. I am just looking for advice on how to evaluate the schools, what questions to ask, how to compare - beyond the easy to get stats suchs as SAT scores, college placements. Some of the criteria:</p>

<p>Day school only at least for now
Could be grades 6-9 but prefer 6-12
Within 30 minutes of Greenwich CT
Top academics but still nurturing (does that exist?)
Our son loves sports, but not contact sports at all and he is an average athlete - seems that many schools require participation each season which would be fine if you don't have to do soccer or football in fall. Just don't want an uber jock school.
Good performing arts (chorus and/or theater)
Our son is not shy, and is fairly social, but takes a while to make friends in new situations to looking for a place where it will be (relatively) easy to come in at 6th grade.
Some economic diversity. We probably wouldn't qualify for aid, but we don't have a winter home in Aspen etc.</p>

<p>Horace Mann (perhaps too far? too NYC if we're in CT?)
Rye Country Day
Brunswick - (is it too sporty and/or too blue blood snobby?)
Greens Farms - don't know anything about this one
King - too small? Don't know how they are academically</p>

<p>Any input would be greatly appreciated!</p>

<p>You will probably need to decide between top academics and nurturing, especially in high school. If you have reason to believe that your child can be in the top 25% of a nurturing school, and the results for the top 25% are what you hope for, then it is worth considering these schools.</p>

<p>Contact the schools that interest you. Ask if they will have a fall open house. Most independent schools have these. It will give you a good feel for the school, and you can get most of your questions answered. </p>

<p>It’s probably too far away, but I hear that the Masters School in Dobbs Ferry NY has a great arts program. It only started to include boys less than 10 years ago, so the athletic program is not as important as it is in some independent schools.</p>

<p>I hear Hackley’s a great school. Would you consider Catholic schools? A lot of choices there.</p>

<p>Our S attended New Canaan Country School for grades 7 - 9, their Upper School. (NCCS only goes thru 9th grade.) We found it to be VERY nurturing and an excellent place for S. Sports are required, although I believe you can get a waiver for one of the 3 terms/year to do drama. There is also an orchestra and chorus. It’s not an "uber jock"school. Of course you then have to do the school search/application process again for 10th grade. But, by then your student will have matured, and your search parameters may change.</p>

<p>Our impression of Brunswick was that it is more of a jock school. In addition to the schools on your list, there’s also St. Luke’s in New Canaan.</p>

<p>St. Lukes in New Cannan, Ct. or Rye Country Day in Rye, NY are good schools.</p>

<p>I have been a GFA parent for 18 years or so. It’s a great school. However, If you are in Greenwich GFA is a little far. You want to be relatively close because of all the driving- friends, practices, games, other events. You can do cross country in the fall in lieu of soccer. They also are big in the performing arts. How about GA or is that just a girls school, RCDS is good, so is Brunswick. Sixth grade is a perfect time to come in as that is the start of middle school.</p>