<p>I recently sent in my first application to UNC, and now, shortly after, my father is demanding that he see all of my common app before he fills out fafsa or even pays for any college application fees. The thing is though, I've had a rough childhood. My dad used to hit me, and my college essay touches upon that in a very positive way (don't worry). So if I were to show my CA to him, and he reads my essay, he will flip. Also, it might help to know that we most likely wont get any financial aid, but we're thinking about filling it out anyway. What should I do? Do I suck it up, not show him my app, and pay about $600 for applications? (which I have) Or do I change my common app, use up one of the three essay changes, and show him my app? Please help.</p>
<p>The real question you need to be asking yourself, is whether or not your dad really will pay anything for your education. It looks like he might not. Or, if he does pay, he may be requesting all of your passwords so that he can log into all of your classes and check on what you have turned in for your homework. While you may consider that to be something you can tolerate in exchange for him paying your tuition, the fact is that if the class has online discussion forums, he will also can be reading your classmates work which certainly is a violation of their privacy.</p>
<p>Is your mom in the picture? Speak with her. You need to get some hard and fast agreements with your dad about the limits of his desire to control your life. You also need to have a plan for paying for college that doesn’t require help from your dad.</p>
<p>Okay, I have that covered, and I need merit to get all my schools under 25k or I cant go. But back to my immediate issue, what do I do, becuase if he reads my essay, I probably wont be applying to any colleges period.</p>
<p>If your father is abusive, then you have no expectation that he will be reliable in paying his part of the EFC, or even filling in financial aid forms. Given that he has absolute veto power over your college plans until you are 24, married, or a military veteran if you need either his money or financial aid cooperation, that is not a good position to be in.</p>
<p>You should target your college applications to large merit scholarships, so that you will not need his money or financial aid cooperation:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-20.html#post16451378[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-20.html#post16451378</a>
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1461983-competitive-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-4.html#post16224918[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1461983-competitive-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-4.html#post16224918</a></p>
<p>That’s what I’m doing, but what do I do now with regards to showing him my essay?!</p>
<p>For now, it sounds like you have to change your essay.</p>
<p>But it sounds like he is going to be using the financial support issue to get his way on whatever issues come up in the future. Hopefully you can get through school without him refusing to fill out the fafsa one year.</p>
<p>So if I were to show my CA to him, and he reads my essay, he will flip.</p>
<p>Why not insert ANOTHER essay into your CA…and then later put the one you want in? Is your dad going to sit there when you submit? Or is he going to read it and then you can submit later?</p>
<p>I do NOT think it’s a good idea for you to “blow off” your dad and pay yourself, because he’s going to suspect that you wrote something negative and refuse to pay for college.</p>
<p>I need merit to get all my schools under 25k</p>
<p>Well, would the CA schools accomplish this? Or are you applying to schools where big merit is less likely or unlikely?</p>
<p>Are you the student who earlier asked if colleges will report your dad if you write about abuse???</p>
<p>First of all, you only get TWO essay changes, not three. So, if Essay #1 is about your dad, and you switch to Essay #2 to have something to show him, you will only have one change left. That’s enough for you to switch back to Essay #1 . . . but then you’re done. If you’re certain you won’t want to make any other changes, then it shouldn’t be a problem.</p>
<p>But you also need to make sure that your alternate essay doesn’t get submitted by accident . . . so make sure, no matter what else you do, that you are the only one with the password to your Common App account.</p>
<p>If this is all just too risky for you, and you can afford the $600, then pay the admissions fees yourself. You can submit all your app’s with Essay #1, and then switch to Essay #2 to have something to show him. It’s certainly more expensive this way, but there’s less risk of something going wrong . . . and you’ll have him on board when it comes time to submit FAFSA in January.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all of this.</p>
<p>Do you qualify for any of the automatic full ride scholarships? If so, use one of them as your safety, so that you can go to college without your father having any power over you through money or financial aid cooperation.</p>
<p>You don’t want to bring the price down to $25,000 per year; you want to bring it down to under $10,000 per year, preferably under $5,000 per year, so that you can self-fund your college (with direct loans and/or work earnings) without any money or financial aid cooperation from your father.</p>
<p>Isn’t this the essay topic that many posters warned you to stay away from on other your other thread? One more reason that you should have skipped it…</p>
<p>That’s true. But I really think my essay is worth keeping. Idk but I believe I qualify for auto full rides…I have 3.89 uw, 4.4 W and 1410 cr+m, 2190 C SAT. Any suggestions for bioengineering auto full rides? And I think I’ll just change my essay to my safe one, and worst comes to worst, I’ll just use it as my essay (becuase I really like that essay too) But if hes not going to check I’ll switch it back. Maybe after EAs I’ll switch it back right before I apply. I can do that right?</p>
<p>I don’t think this student should spend his precious $600 unless he’s got a whole lot more. </p>
<p>This dad seems too unpredictable. I agree with UCB…getting huge merit is a better idea. There’s too big of a risk that at SOME point within the next four years the dad may pull the rug out.</p>
<p>I can afford it. But what full ride schools woul you recommend?</p>
<p>Ciao…</p>
<p>Your PM box is full.</p>
<p>If you pay to avoid having your dad read your CA, won’t he get suspicious? If so, that’s a recipe for a huge disaster.</p>
<p>The thing is though, I’ve had a rough childhood. My dad used to hit me, and my college essay touches upon that in a very positive way (don’t worry). So if I were to show my CA to him, and he reads my essay, he will flip.</p>
<p>Scratching my head trying to imagine ANY “positive way” one could write about his dad hitting him as a child (and I’m assuming that you’re not talking about a light tap on the fanny.)</p>
<p>Let me clear my PM box and then you can send me a message. Ill send it to you, and then youll also understand why I pointed out I can pay for it.</p>
<p>Ok Im good, Ill send it to you</p>
<p>From <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-20.html#post16451378[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-20.html#post16451378</a> , the automatic scholarships you qualify for with 3.89 HS GPA and 1410 SAT CR+M and 2190 SAT CR+M+W, and the remaining cost of attendance:</p>
<p>Alabama, $10,662
Alabama - Birmingham, $15,851
Alabama - Huntsville, $9,692
Troy, $4,470
Tuskegee, $2,664
Alabama State, $2,544
Howard, $3,462
Florida A&M, $13,096
Western Illinois, $9,420
Indiana-Purdue - Fort Wayne, $13,622
Louisiana Tech, $5,229
Louisiana - Monroe, $2,889
Southeastern Louisiana, $9,628
Coppin State, $4,685
Mississippi, $17,010
Southeast Missouri State, $11,610
Ohio, $16,371
Wayne State (NE), $9,580
North Carolina Central, $1,175
Temple, $15,613
Lee, $10,944
Prairie View A&M, $5,324</p>
<p>Remember, you can borrow up to $5,500 in your frosh year through the federal direct loans. Beyond that, you would need to contribute work earnings to cover any remaining costs, and/or live more frugally than the estimated cost of attendance. Colleges generally do not assume that a student can contribute more than $3,000 to $5,000 in work earnings per year.</p>
<p>However, if you attend one of the above and are able to self-fund the remaining costs, then your abusive father cannot control you through college money of financial aid cooperation.</p>
<p>You can, of course, apply to <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1461983-competitive-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-4.html#post16224918[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1461983-competitive-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-4.html#post16224918</a> in addition to one or more of the automatic ones.</p>
<p>Alabama could be a safety depending on how much the student can earn in a year. He could also lower costs by choosing standard double housing.</p>
<p>Ciao…how much can you earn each year while going to school full time?</p>
<p>What is your career goal? Are you premed?</p>
<p>Well it all depends on the jobs I could find but my businesses are grossing 5 figures…and also, Im restricted geographically to schools near NJ once again thanks to my dad</p>
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<p>If you get a big enough scholarship somewhere so that you can self-fund your education, why would you submit to his control in this way?</p>
<p>It sounds like you are trying to voluntarily put yourself under the control of your abusive father even though you have the capability to escape his control in college.</p>