help for my daughter

Hi. I’m looking for advice. My daughter is 17 and has been suffering from migraines for about 2 years. Long story short, she has a 504 plan for school, but she’s missed a lot and her attendance is dismal. She is looking into colleges, and her GPA is not good enough to get into the schools she wants. This seems unfair because of her health issue. Has anyone experienced this? How can I advocate with the schools for her to look beyond her grades/attendance and take into consideration her disability if you will? Thanks for any advice you may have.

A sincere question- do you have any reason to believe her condition will improve soon? If not, maybe you should be looking at online learning or reduced courseloads for college

Unfortunately its not likely that competitive schools will modify their admissions criteria for a student. Most schools say that a student has to be “otherwise qualified” and only after acceptance will they look at accommodations for students who may not be able to take a full course load, who may need flexible attendance, etc.

I can’t answer your question about schools, but have you tried magnesium supplements? I’ve heard from several people with migraines that they help.

We’re thinking probably a community college to start with then see if she can transfer. Just seems unfair because she is smart, but her grades don’t reflect it.

Haven’t heard of that but I will look into it. Thanks ?

Seems unfair. Kids aren’t just a number, like adults are based solely on credit scores. You’re a number without a story. Even smart kids have issues . Thanks for your input! ?

But from the schools’ standpoint, they want to admit kids who are going to succeed and if they’ve struggled that much in high school, it will be tough for them to.

I think CC is a great way to start, or maybe a small local school (for our disabled son, it was the University of Southern Maine). I can tell you that EVERY YEAR, bright kids from our high school go off to some big “name” school and end up at USM the next year. And they do great!

@njmama71

One of the moms in my circle of mom friends suffered from migraines since her teens years and surprisingly, it took her a very, very long time until she connected the migraines to her menstrual cycle.

Her OB/GYN had suggestions, and something helped quite a lot, but I don’t recall the details.

Good luck!

OP- look at it from another perspective- is it fair to your D to put her in a situation where missing ONE class a semester puts her behind, let alone half a dozen? Is it fair to your D that she’s trying to keep up with kids who can function with 5 hours of sleep a night when she sometimes needs 8 hours AND a nap to function well?

Lifetime migraine sufferer here, I agree that trying a magnesium supplement (do a search for types and dosage) is a great easy place to start. Is she seeing a neurologist? Trying some preventative medications? At this point, she should be, IMO. Is she a junior or a senior? If a senior, I might say to focus efforts on getting those migraines under control first, maybe even considering a gap year, or setting the targets low for college admissions and then revisiting colleges (as in a transfer) once the migraines are under control. There are ways to discuss health issues in an app (essays, LORs, counselor statements), but if the health issues are ongoing, I don’t know that the college will overlook them…they want kids who will succeed (as I’m sure you want too). So you may have to focus on schools that fit how she is doing now.

Colleges are a business. They want a student to succeed, graduate, make lots of money and donate back to the school. They invest resources in their students and use their metrics to predict success. Unfortunately, an unstable medical condition that affects attendance may affect the ability of that student to succeed, no matter how bright they are.

How about the kids who have top grades and scores and no health problems, and still don’t get in? Many kids want to go to colleges they don’t have the scores or gpa for. Some schools have other ways to prove you are qualified, like score optional schools, schools that put a lot more emphasis on essays, schools that are holistic, but most schools take the applicants with the highest scores, the best gpa, and who can write compelling essays.

How is the school supposed to know that? You ask if YOU can advocate for her. No. She might be able to plead her own case at an interview, through essays, through high test scores that her high school gpa could have been higher but wasn’t because of health reason. A low gpa is unlikely to get her into Brown or Vassar, but she can find a school where she can shine.

She can be smart at another school. I have one who had an okay gpa but her test scores were not high in math and science. She’s really awful in math because of a learning disability but she attends a college that is just perfect for her. She would have struggled at a school (or in a major) that required a lot of math, but she couldn’t get around that half the SAT is math and some schools base a lot of the admission decision on the test scores. She had to limit her colleges to those that would admit her despite the math score.

I have a friend whose daughter missed a lot of school her junior year because of complications from Lyme disease. I don’t know how much it affected her GPA, but she ended up at Dickinson and is doing well there. Her Lyme seems to be in remission

A student with a health issue has the right to perform at his or her best level, via accommodations, but that also requires some treatment that is somewhat effective. I have dealt with migraines with kid and myself and am going to PM you. People on here might be surprised at what my kid achieved at one of the most selective schools, where there was so much support and understanding, surprisingly. It is possible to thrive- with treatment- even if no cure.

Online learning sounds like a very good alternative. The time flexibility could make a difference between low grades and good grades. Too many college profs offer NO FLEXIBILITY with the timing of assignments or tests (this is ESPECIALLY true with lower-division classes… At least with online courses, there usually is some flexibility since many are designed to accommodate a working student.

As a sufferer of childhood migraines that have continued into adulthood, I highly recommend seeing a neurologist that specializes in treating chronic migraines. Taking a daily migraine preventative (topamax) has made a huge reduction in my migraine frequency. When I do have a migraine coming on, imitrex usually clears the attack within 30-40 minutes. I’m sorry your daughter is a migraine sufferer. Hopefully, she can get her migraines under control soon!

Have to get the migraines under control IMHO before considering traditional class. On-line courses give flexibility to work around down time due to health issues.

DD, H, MIL all have migraines. MIL use to have to have a MD come to the house to give her an injection - her menstrual cycle would set her off at times. H has found a way to cope, but if he feels a migraine coming on, he immediately lays down and has his coping methods. Sometimes he has to suffer through if away from home. DD got her first migraine in 2nd/3rd grade - she has found a way to cope. I understood she had a migraine instead of a headache when she went to bed with it; in the morning she went to school still with the headache - she threw up in a trash can and then of course felt better (she was in 4th grade). H guided her through ways to head off and cope.

Migraine preventative and understanding specifics for your DD can help reduce some of the debilitation.

My D gets migraines. She has found relief taking butterbur daily. Also when they start to increase, she goes to a chiropractor. A couple of good neck cracks and they subside for a while

My daughter has chronic migraine. It never stops. She has tried everything including Botox and Aimovig. My husband and I wish we could wave a magic wand and have her headaches subside. She holds a full time job but it’s difficult. There doesn’t seem to be any hope for amelioration.