My DD’17 has had a collapse this year. She was okay 1st quarter, but barely made it through 2nd quarter and only with a great deal of tutoring. 3rd quarter began and she stopped going to school. Over these months she’s had individual psychotherapy, eight weeks of intensive outpatient therapy, which ended last week, and a psychiatrist to prescribe medication. We changed her from a very academically rigorous school to a school with virtually no academic expectations. She is now going to school mostly, but has begun experiencing headaches and nausea, possibly migraines, which I think are stress related. She has little homework but barely does what she has and then lies to us about doing it - sounds stress inducing to me! She recently recognized that she has a history of physical responses to stress, such as horrible stomachaches in middle school. She has an appointment with a neurologist who specializes in headaches in a couple of weeks.
So the question is besides what we’re already doing where do we go from here? We tell her things like exercise, healthy diet, etc will help with the problems but all she hears from us is wah, wah, wah (like the adults in Charlie Brown comics). She will still see her psychologist, but I was thinking of something like a life coach to get her to do the things she should be doing and also to deal with the anxiety/depression. Does anyone have any experience with helping a DC take the next step after the crisis? How would I find such a person?
Thanks. I’ve found this forum to be extremely helpful.
So sorry Phx for her and for your family. I am not sure I would add a life coach at this point, but would make absolutely sure the medications are doing all that they can for her. Who is managing her medication? Perhaps the headaches are a side-effect? From what I know, it can take a long time to get the mix of medications right for a kid. Is she continuing with the talk therapy? Is there a family component to that? I would suggest you talk to her therapist or one of your own to figure out how to handle her. 17 is a tough age in the best of circumstances.
Good luck and hope things improve soon.
It’s hard to advise without knowing your daughter’s diagnosis. Generally, a life coach isn’t trained or has the background to deal with psychological issues. I would think that you might find more help at your daughter’s center for students with disabilities. I’ve heard some students with ADD and/or executive function disorder had good luck with a coach they found at/through their school.
I might also add, your primary goal right now might be your daughter’s mental health rather than her education. I’d also advise going part-time to school and slowly increase course load. It took my son a year and a half after his breakdown before he was ready for full time school.
A life coach isn’t a mental health professional. What are the psychiatrist and the therapist recommending? She may need to undergo several kinds of therapy (interpersonal, CBT) and it may take a while to get the medications rights. I really, really don’t want to sound discouraging, but it took us a while before we got to a place where the pros felt like they finally had THE diagnosis.
You see, lots of conditions can lead to an episode of major depression, and that has to be treated before you can really do anything else. The treatment process takes time, and during that time other issues can surface. @kataliamom said it took a year and half before her child was ready for school. School was was kept our dear family member going, but it took over 2 years to get to the point where a really sharp therapist (the third, btw), working with the pdoc (first and only), said, hey, I think this is the problem. The pieces finally fit. Doesn’t make things easy, by any means, but it helps a lot with direction. You may simply have spend more letting your child explore her issues with a therapist and not focus so much on next steps. You really can’t take any until you know for sure what you’re dealing with.