Good point…and I meant to say the same. If their needs are similar, they may apply to mostly the same colleges and might end up at the same one, and that could be great. Even my kids would have happily gone to the same college.
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Thank you so much for advice from a survivor. 
Yes, my girls are monozygotic and interested in the same things, which is a challenge but I’ll take it as a plus for efficiency.
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Thanks to everyone for great tips. I will let go of the push to attend different places, and will focus on letting them see PG schools (thanks for the Mercersberg tip) AND colleges and we will see where things shake out in the spring.
I really appreciate the thoughts. What CC does best is talk people off the ledge. 
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I was wondering if they were monozygotic. You’ve probably had people giving you all kinds of advice about them and their relationship from the start and have had your fill of it. So my only real advice is do whatever works for them and for you and don’t worry about what other people tell you…including me lol.
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Not a twin parent but agreeing with twinsmama to do what works for your kids right now, not what people have said over the years is best. Especially since they are young for their grade and undecided on paths, I think you could consider a PG year at a boarding school if it’s a good fit. I would look for the number of other PG students (and maybe non-athletes) to make sure there will be peers. And know that there will be a big adjustment period since it’s a new school just like going to college but with (hopefully) more support systems in place. And that the college counseling will possible start the summer before they arrive. There is lots of time for things to change before next fall so I think considering all your options is smart. I don’t think you will regret giving them time after what their high school years have been. But they might end up ready for college by next fall. Good luck!
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I am going to jump in and respond without reading all comments. I have a current senior at Deerfield Academy. She is in her 2nd year there. She should have graduated last year. She was class of 2022, then Covid hit her sophomore year. She spent her Junior year at an online charter school teaching herself AP Calc and AP Chem. Alone. In September of 2020 she discovered that we actually could afford a boarding school with the excellent FA that they have and applied to 3 schools. All HADES (we had no idea what we were doing and had not discovered this site). She was going to apply as a senior, but decided to apply as a repeat Junior when we discovered that admission as a senior was not likely. She does not play a sport but is a dancer. She sent a dance video with her application and was one of 25ish new Juniors accepted fall of 2021. She felt like she lost a year of high school and didn’t want to go back to her public school. Dance had consumed her life and she had no real connections there. She no longer wanted to do the full time pre-pro ballet school that would have required more cyber school. She is sooooo happy with her decision and has made some really good friends. She was also young for her grade, just turned 18 this summer. Said she loves being one of the older ones now. Last year there were a couple of PG girls who were not athletes, although most are. The dance program is very good and always needs people, I think that is ultimately what got her accepted. The school does a great job to integrate the PG’s into the senior class. I highly recommend Deerfield.
Deerfield has about 150 Seniors and 25ish PG’s. Also, all students except freshmen have single rooms.
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No town hell here [sorry, I swear I typed “twin help”] but wanted to point out that the US demands that kids need to wrap their heads about college so very early, it’s hard especially for the young for grade.
But they still have almost another year before they would actually go. So much development still to happen, and with things back in person, it finally can happen again.
I see so much development in my teens already within the few weeks they have been back in school in “normal” conditions. So I wouldn’t rule out that they might be ready to go to college within a year so wondering whether you might want to insist on a back up plan there.
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Actually, I’m so old and tired that I am happy to hear any and all advice!
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That was for @twinsmama – still getting used to this layout!
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It’s so heartbreaking to hear about kids trying to learn in their rooms all alone. Mine got marley floors sent from school and tried to keep up en pointe in their small bedrooms. I didn’t even think about dance helping their chances. Thank you for your story and I’m so glad your daughter is thriving at Deerfield. (It’s on our list!)
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Gap year trips are amazing, but I’m thinking they won’t necessarily help with the missing academic maturity piece, ya know? They need to make work and structure a habit again after two years on a sofa.
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True. I was only thinking about it as a way to help with the girls learning to separate and pursue their own interests if they went on diffeeent trips, plus get a little more socialization than they seem to have had. But trips definitely won’t address any academic gaps.
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Thanks so much for the Deerfield suggestion. Met them at a Ten Schools event in Pasadena today. Very nice!
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Edited.
Update:
The twins trip with one parent was definitely challenging, but not as much as for a friend whose twins fought their entire trip! We modified the notebook idea (thanks CC!) and they each texted their dad (who couldn’t come along) impressions/thoughts after each visit.
It was immediately evident that one daughter was more thoughtful and communicative, which was a huge surprise because we often think of her as being more quiet! Deerfield was having family weekend, so no tour, and we were at Kent on a Sunday, so same thing, but got to tour Hill (which gave them each their own tour guide!), Madeira and Mercersburg, which were all lovely.
I know which way I’m leaning. I think applying to PG years is a good move, even if they still apply to college. All the admissions folks were very understanding, especially about the California situation. I’d definitely also check out some warmer climes, because wow were we cold. Monteverde and Bolles in Florida and Orme in Arizona, maybe.
But the best twinsight I got was from the Madeira admissions officer, who’s an identical twin herself! She went to Deerfield her sister to Hotchkiss, and she was warm and lovely and very kind.
Thanks so much for all your thoughtful responses.
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I was there family weekend. What a beautiful weekend it was. Hopefully you walked around a did a self tour?
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@SoCalMomOfFour2
I have shirked my duties as a fellow twin mom (from southern cal!), with both at boarding school! (Whose identical twin daughter also had the loveliest talk with Emily at Madeira a couple of years ago when we were looking!).
So I am super sad we missed the opportunity to connect with you (through my daughters) at Mercersburg when you visited. (I have 3 of my 4 teenaged daughters there now – each year for the past three years, another daughter has decided to go to Mercersburg, for completely “separate” reasons.). In other words: Mercersburg does an EXCELLENT job of being different things to different students.
That said, as you know, being an identical twin can be hard. It is 100% NOT the same thing at all as having a sibling in the same school. My kids are 17, 16, 15, 15, so we are super familiar with the life of having close-in-age siblings, or Irish twins, and can confirm: identical twinning is a whole different ball of wax.
People confuse you, people stop calling you by your name at all (because they don’t want to be wrong), and truth is: teachers blend together who does what well (or not).
So when my second twin decided she wanted to go to Mercersburg this past year, we were very deliberate about meeting with admin about this issue, and how it would play out to make sure each twin keeps her identity. This is extra important if doing a PG year, and they only have a few months to get recommendations for colleges (and by that I mean both the teacher recs, but also the college counseling advice).
That said, I think that if anyone can do it, it’s Mercersburg. I have been very happy with how willing MB has been to address this issue and minimize the downsides of twinning in the same school.
I couldn’t quite capture – they DO want to go to the same school? (Personally, I would let them take the lead on this decision.)
One thing to think about in joining a school in the older years is how many other students are doing the same. MB has a deliberate, specific entry point in junior year (in other words, it’s not just backfilling attrition, which can often be the reason behind there being so few spots in junior year).
Why does this matter? (I realize your daughters would be PGs, not juniors, but the mechanism is the same).
Because it means a school will be very deliberate about creating community quickly, rather than leaving it up to the 17 year old to show up and be able to pave her own way into a social structure and culture that has a shared history of several years before her arrival. MB knows how to integrate later arrivals into their culture. My DD2, who is a junior (non-twin) – her best friend is actually a new junior now. And her mom had tears in her eyes as we stood there together at “Step Songs” (annual MB tradition) a few weeks ago, and she was so grateful her daughter was so at home after just a few weeks. I believe that story happens over and over, and if I had a kid who was looking for a later arrival at boarding school, I would look for a school that mindfully included those students into the fold, usually because there is a planned spot for them.
PLEASE feel free to DM me, about any of this. I’m happy to support or answer questions in any way. I’ve visited so many boarding schools in 3 admissions cycles, and there are so many wonderful programs out there. Happy to help if I can.
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My son did a PG year at an East Coast BS for the 21-22 school year as he was just not ready for College. He had not had a full year of HS since grade nine and was reluctant to engage in the College process, despite the fact that he could have dialed in a few applications and been accepted. The PG year paid off in BIG WAYS and informed where he wanted to attend college. Absolutely no regrets. He learned a lot about himself through the PG application process and the year at BS. Tremendous growth happened. It provided a structured environment with a great deal of support. He is now successfully away at College studying Math and Mechanical Engineering. PG is a great option for a kid who needs just a bit more seasoning before they embark on the College experience.
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THANK YOU so much! I have been swamped with work and just popped into CC today and you’re a godsend! Yes, I think what I’ve learned from poking around under the hood and speaking to other parents and our teachers is that our girls really, really, really need to have a chance to reintroduce themselves to life, and so separating for a PG year may be just the ticket after a K-12 experience during which they were locked in a room for a year+.
Your words of wisdom are SO helpful. I’ll likely DM you for sure. At the moment, I’m sitting at home making a spreadsheet of which school said what to whom whem so I can keep track for the two girls! Thank you again!
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Yes … I am so glad to hear that the extra time baking in the oven was a Good Thing. Hope it’ll work out for our girls as well. I mean, how could it not? It’s like doing a Year Abroad. If you’re from CA, the East Coast is a very foreign land!