Help! Mom wants son to attend college, son wants to enlist in military...

<p>If he wants to join the military, let him. He can find out if it is for him, or not. He can do his 4 years and then go to college if need be. If not, he finds that he wants to make a career with the military, he has a job so unemployment rates are meaningless. If he serves his time he winds up with a great pension AND can work at another job down the road if he wants. While it’s hard that our children don’t choose the path we want him to, it is HIS life, not your life. Stop comparing him to his siblings–and yes you are when you had to add in their “accomplishments” to start this thread. Be proud of your son and what he wants to do.</p>

<p>Nicole, thanks for the update. My only advice is to support him now that he has made his decision. It may all work out for the best, but he might need some family support at some time. My nephew and a friend have loved ones who have been in the Army or the Guard for some time, and they haven’t deployed right away.</p>

<p>DesertIce, thanks for your time and hard work. My own H dropped out after frosh year of U to join the USAF during the tail end of Vietnam, then finished school on the GI Bill. It can work out well!</p>

<p>We have family that clip and send coupons to the overseas bases. There must be a place online that tells civilians how they may support the troops.</p>

<p>oops, didn’t notice this was from a year ago. Glad you are supporting his decision to join the military.</p>

<p>You might find some wisdom in my old thread, as I was in a similar position. At first my son wanted to go to college and join ROTC. Then, he insisted that joining the Marines right out of high school was the best path, as he’d “get in the ground floor and not miss any of the experiences”. Many people tried to sway him to reconsider. We begged him to consider any of the other branches of service. He turned 18 last month and immediately went to the Marines recruiting office to sign. After realizing that there was nothing my husband or I could do, I began to pray about the situation. Then the strangest thing happened. When he went for his physical, he reported that he’d had stress fractures 3 years ago in his legs. (He’s a cross country runner who easily runs 50 miles each week.) That was enough for the Marines to turn him down. The ironic thing is he was actually leading workout sessions for potential recruits for the recruiting office. He is now headed to college, his second choice. Thank you Marines (even though I think they’re idiots for turning him down). My point is that a lot can happen between now and the time he leaves for Afghanistan and prayer can work. If my son would have gone, then the higher powers would have sent him for a reason that I wasn’t seeing. Sometimes it’s just out of your hands.</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1279717-military-recruiters-got-hold-my-son.html?highlight=military+recruiters[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1279717-military-recruiters-got-hold-my-son.html?highlight=military+recruiters&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Nicole --</p>

<p>Hugs! My thoughts and prays are with you and your son.</p>

<p>Thanks to all of your thoughts and suggestions (and prayers for those who believe, like i do!).
I guess my main question is when my son can start taking college courses now that he has chosen to enlist right out of high school. He tells me he wants to “plug away” at a college degree, which is fantastic. Logistically, however, how/where does this happen? Does he have to wait his 3 years 19 weeks to start taking classes? When I asked the recruiter, he just told me he is taking online courses toward his degree (after 15 years in the army).</p>

<p>I did not sign any forms, as my S was about to turn 18 in Jan & I did not heed the recruiters RUSH RUSH OR ALL THE GOOD JOBS WILL DISAPPEAR mantra. His dad did sign away.</p>

<p>He took the test and scored very well. All the infantry spots are filled so he is trying to find a Plan B. or C or D.</p>

<p>We are not as concerned about $$ for education as my S has a college fund. and I am not shy about applying for scholarships should the need arise.</p>

<p>SteveMA I have no choice but to support his decision. We have watched many Army casualties come home to Dover from here on the Cape. My fears are not unfounded nor random. In regards to his sisters who chose the college route, both are fully gainfully employed in DC & NYC & financially independent except for shared family plan on cell phone which they reimburse me for! Isn’t this what we want for our children after all this schooling, athletics & activities?!</p>

<p>Which army jobs lead to civilian ones? Does Army Ranger school offer college credits?</p>

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<p>Do you seriously think your prayers induced divine intervention that caused the Marine recruiters to turn down your son because of his pre-existing stress fractures?</p>

<p>sorghum, there is no point in questioning someone’s religious faith. If they believe it, they believe it.</p>

<p>DesertIce, thank you for sharing your experience, which is an example of how positive it can be when this sort of thing goes well.</p>

<p>I have a friend whose S decided to enlist in the Marines during college, and like the OP, they have no choice but to support it, despite their very reasonable qualms. The S has been very satisfied by his experience so far–he’s been through basic and specialized training to date-- but is also now back in college instead of being sent to war, because he is at a college with a corps of cadets and military connection. I have another friend whose S tried to enlist, because it represents the only way he can get the type of mechanic training he wants, but they ultimately would not accept him because of a stupid youthful indiscretion involving theft. Apparently the days of “enlist or go to jail” are long gone. It is very sad because for him–not headed to college due to LDs and different interests–it would have represented a golden opportunity, and he’s a great kid despite his misstep.</p>

<p>I managed to get about 40-50ish credits when I was in. How many college classes you can get done can depend greatly on your MOS, where you’re stationed, OpTempo of the unit, etc. Most jobs in the military are regulat working hours once you get through training. I had a much harder time with it being Infantry, since our work schedule was very unpredictable. </p>

<p>The DoD has a program called Tuition Assistance, which up until about 2-3 years ago covered up to 4500 a year for tuition, and many schools offered online classes for students at the specific military rate. I think it worked out to 6 classes a year (18 credits) that I could take. So if I was in a regular civilian-like job, I could probably finish 2 years worth of school in a 4 year enlistment. I think TA was cut somewhat right before I got out, but there are plenty of military specific scholarships that can make up the cost for books and any extra tuition.</p>

<p>There are also CLEP exams that he can take at the base education center. They are offered free to active duty, and I was able to get some credits that way. I’d go get a study guide at the library, study it for a week or so, then walk in and take the exam. If I passed I got 3 college credits. If I failed I wasted about 1 hour of my life. </p>

<p>Keep in mind that the Post 9/11 GI Bill covers 4 years worth of school (there is no recruiter bs there, I’m using it right now). </p>

<p>One more very important point that I mentioned earlier. Going into the Infantry is not the MOS to be if you want to max out college benefits. The work schedule is not predictable, and he can end up dropping a few courses. </p>

<p>The “RUSH OR JOBS WILL DISAPPEAR” isn’t entirely inaccurate - the DoD has a certain number of jobs to fill per FY, so October 1 is when everything opens up as far as job selection. I wouldn’t suggest rushing into anything, as this is a major life decision, and 4 years can be a very long time in a job that you don’t want. </p>

<p>I’ll also add that being infantry is NOT what people think it is when they join. Being in garrison (not deployed) in an infantry unit can be downright miserable. I’m not, nor will I ever join a frat (though one could argue that being a Marine is one), but infantry life in the barracks is everything like that x10. Many hours sitting around doing nothing, waiting for whatever else. The best times I had were while deployed.</p>

<p>Nephew’s friend (degreed film major) trained as a paramedic. I have no idea how competitive that is.</p>

<p>Reaching here…but…we have seen a real problem with teen boys, who play games like Call of Duty, wanting to join the army. They want to see combat based on those games. I am unsure if Call of Duty is the actual game, but there is a game out there, very popular with the teen boys, put out by the military to try to get kids to want to join. It has been extremely successful.</p>

<p>IF he is playing those games, try taking them away for a while and work hard to find any other interests possible. Oh, and put him in some sort of military type thing locally. They have ROTC at many high schools, there might be a summer program, etc. Once he experiences a little bit of the real basic training, he might feel a little different.</p>

<p>IF he still MUST join, steer him toward Air Force or maybe Navy where he will get more academic type training and less combat. But don’t tell him that is why you are steering him in that direction.</p>

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<p>Yep! I agree. (And Call of Duty is a real game. I know. I’ve seen it in my house.) Of course I’m sure there would be several on this board who would disagree with this, just like they disagreed with my divine intervention.</p>

<p>Nicole1500…my (Navy) S is in EOD…Explosive Ordnance Detonation. </p>

<p>It’s tough to get into and EOD school is really hard(attrition rate is pretty high) but well worth it if you can make it through. It’s a world class education that has many applications in the civilian world. My S loves it and wouldn’t want to do anything else.<br>
Have your S check out EOD.</p>

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<p>Back when I was growing up in the 1980’s, boys in my old neighborhood like the ones you described were aspiring to join the military due to movies like Rambo I-III, Predator, Red Dawn, etc. That…and the fact there were plenty of older neighbors, grandfathers, fathers, uncles, and sometimes even much older brothers who were veterans of WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. </p>

<p>It was also an age when Alex Keaton(Played by Michael J. Fox) syndrome was present…especially considering some of those very veterans and/or former counterculture parents were adamant against their kids watching war-themed movies or even think about joining the military due to the legacy of Vietnam War. </p>

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<p>While that’s your right, that may actually drive adolescent/teen boys further into the arms of the military out of rebellion and wanting to assert he’s not dominated by what he perceives as “overprotective parents”. Am saying this as someone who was once an adolescent/teen boy who went through a serious rebellious phase.</p>

<p>Better idea is to focus on finding other activities and to have him join a junior ROTC unit if the HS has one. As for experiencing the military atmosphere/training…if he’s really the type to be into it, that may only add to his eagerness for joining as it did for a childhood classmate. However, his Vietnam Vet father insisted he attended college and pursue his aspirations through ROTC. </p>

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<p>For those who want to join to become the ideal type of soldier portrayed in Rambo or Call of Duty, the Air Force or Navy isn’t likely to be very appealing unless they feel they have a fair shot at getting into their respective special operations units. And the latter is likely to be just as/more dangerous than being a soldier or Marine in a combat-arms branch if/when they’re in training/combat.</p>

<p>I think it’s all individual. Both my boys(now 26 and 23) played all the warfare games,James Bond games,etc. S2 has Call of Duty in his Xbox today.</p>

<p>S1 has known he wanted to be in the military since 7th grade. Never waivered or considered other options. He went to college on NROTC scholarship and is currently deployed to the Middle East.<br>
S2 never had a “passion”. In trying to broaden his scope of choices,we mentioned following his older brother into military service. It was an adamant NO.</p>

<p>Not to burst the OP’s son’s bubble, but being enlisted in the army and trying to get college credit isn’t the easiest thing to do. The Army really does not care whether you are enrolled in college classes. The Army is not flexible. A suggestion I would make is that he spend some time investigating on-line not-for- profit programs. That way, if he has Internet, he can work on course work. University of Maryland University College has some interesting programs.</p>

<p>It seems odd that a primary goal of a young man entering the military is to get his college degree. There are a lot of easier ways to do that. Recruiters lie to these kids to get them to sign.</p>

<p>Packmom-
I think of your boy daily and wishing him well and hoping you will see him soon.</p>

<p>And Nicole- give your son my thanks and appreciation for considering a life that so few are willing to do.</p>

<p>Kat</p>

<p>[UMUC</a> - Homepage](<a href=“http://Www.UMUC.edu%5DUMUC”>http://Www.UMUC.edu) has been offering on base and distance ed classes just about forever. Now many programs are entirely online. Penn State World Campus has similar programs. There are others. Check out your in-state publics. They may offer him in state rates no matter where he is actually serving.</p>

<p>I was enlisted, got my degree then got commissioned and now work in the corporate world.</p>

<p>It’s a convoluted path. They will try to sell your son on the army life - doing 20 yrs. </p>

<p>The best thing he can do is to do the GI Bill, take some freshman year level classes when he can and to complete his military obligation then go back to college and pay for it using the GI Bill money and an ROTC scholarship if he wants to go back to active duty or reserve duty as an officer.</p>

<p>The issue is these young guys get married and have kids a lot younger than most civilians do as did I. That adds a wrinkle.</p>

<p>All branches have specialties that cross over to civilian use. Military enlistment should be taken as seriously as college choices. You are a commodity they need, and they will “pay for the right candidates” Whether in cash or training.
I enlisted out of high school in the early 80s, post Vietnam, not very popular choice. I was not ready for college, I had good grades but not sure of my career choices. I joined the AF, scored very well on entrance and was able to guarantee my training as a electronics calibration tech. I can say now 30 years later, still employed in the medical electronics industry, that it was the best decision of my young life. I met some of the smartest people I have ever known, many continued on in education, some did not. But my small group of friends are all highly employed in six figure positions across the country. My own son, has considered it also, but is choosing to go to school. I have a soft spot for military service, as my own father was a career guy. Navy, Army, and AF. Guess he never could choose his favorite uniform color.</p>