<p>I'm not sure how to start this, but some background; I'm attending a top college as an acting major (I won't be saying where, but it's prestigious and VERY expensive) and things have been going well for me. Academically, I'm only about a 3.2, but I am talented and I've been making a lot of progress as a performer, which is ultimately what counts in my field.</p>
<p>Now - my father has been funding me. My family is well off, so he's able to pay for me without much of a hassle, but he's made it abundantly clear that he will be controlling me and everything I do for the rest of my life (or, I suppose, his). He's not necessarily a bad man, but he's very business-driven and keeps an incredibly tight grip over everything I do.</p>
<p>So here's my problem; I want to be able to pay for myself. I do love my father, but I need to be able to make my own decisions, not simply the ones he's willing to fund. We've gotten in several fights over things like what he will and will not allow me to audition for (based on content that he might find offensive), what jobs he will and will not allow me to apply for part-time, etc. Frankly - it's far too much, and I can't live under his thumb any longer.</p>
<p>My question, then, is what would be my best course of action? Any help would be appreciated, thank you.</p>
<p>How much is your father currently paying a year for tuition? What about extra travel/audition costs? Are you receiving any merit scholarships, dept scholarships, or assistantships available in your program?</p>
<p>If you’re currently full-pay, there’s no way you are going to qualify for financial aid. You cannot, for example, suddenly declare yourself independent and be evaluated for financial need independent of your parents’ finances. For all intents and purposes, their money is your money - whether they’re willing to share it with you or not.</p>
<p>Bottom line, there’s no way you’re going to be able to complete your studies at your current school without parental support. So, suck it up and live by your father’s rules. After you graduate, you can make your own decisions. But, for now, if you want to get through school, you’ll need to be willing to compromise.</p>
<p>Are you doing well enough in your auditions to drop out of school, and start your career now?</p>
<p>Are the auditions your father doesn’t want you to go to for productions on campus, or off campus? If they are on campus, how many productions are you required to audition for each term? If you are cast in that school production, are you obligated to perform? Will your dad cut the money off if he finds out that you are obligated to perform in I-Object-To-That-Content even though it is a course requirement?</p>
<p>How much time to you have left to complete your program? Can you consider putting on a happy face and doing what Dad wants you to do for the next X years/months/semesters to be just one more acting exercise?</p>
<p>Can you get your mom (or someone else who’s opinion he will listen to) to read the scripts and/or plot summaries so that he more information about them before he talks them over with you?</p>
<p>Happykid is a theater tech major. I see all kinds of strange productions because she’s working on them, and consider it just part of the whole college theater deal. If you are the first in your family to go into this career field, I can understand that some of your productions may be too strange for your father’s taste. Try to be patient with him about this. You know he will come to see you get that Emmy.</p>
<p>Finish your degree. Stop discussing auditions with your family. They are auditions after all, and there is no guarantee you will be cast. Every audition is valuable learning for a performer.</p>
<p>When you get a part, then you can choose whether to tell your family…or not. </p>
<p>Are these roles your dad objects to…well are they objectionable? Why doesn’t he approve of them. </p>
<p>Once your degree is finished, you are on your own.</p>
<p>I agree with Happymom in post #4. You have options: get out into the work force if you are good enough or grin and bear it.</p>
<p>but he’s made it abundantly clear that he will be controlling me and everything I do for the rest of my life</p>
<p>Your dad is a Paper Tiger. Once you have your degree paid by him there’s NO HOLD that he’ll have over you. He can’t take your degree back…it’s done. </p>
<p>Set aside his threats…they’re meaningless once you have your degree.</p>
<p>Mind your “p’s and q’s” while in college, finish your degree, and then support yourself. Dad won’t be able to do a dang thing.</p>
<p>For college, you are not going to get financial aid if your parents are able to pay. So unless you get a merit award, you are dependent on your parents during college, if you decide to go to college, just as you were in high school, though if you are not living at home, you won’t be right there with your dad. In terms of what your father dictates for auditions and such, you will have to toe the line with the policies fo the school. </p>
<p>Being in the performing arts is tough. Unless you are extremely lucky, making a living wage, with perfomance jobs is virtually impossible. Most performers have to find other work to make ends meet, unless they have family to support them in those lean years. We are going through this right now with our son. Though he has done well in getting performance gigs, and is pretty much self sufficiente, we still help him out. Otherwise he would be strapped and would not be able to afford a lot of necessities like health care, for instance. He does not have school loans which is a big plus. But he is coming to the point where he needs to come up with some job that makes more money than he is right now which will cut into his audition and performance opportunitiies. We cannot support him the way some parents are supporting their budding actorrs and actresses, and he has not been ablle to get what he needs in paying work to live the miniimum way he wants. So even after colllege, be aware that this situaton exists. </p>
<p>But for college years, you are not independent when you are living in Dad’s pocket and wallet. You are still a dependent student and have to behave that way. It’s just the way it is. Once you turn 18, you have every right to leave that pocket, but your Dad has every right to decline to support you as well.</p>
<p>Thanks for the responses, everyone. The spark that led to this post was concerning a major audition that he made me pass up; I was asked to come into an audition for the Book of Mormon national tour, but because my father is extremely conservative I was told that I would be cut off if I did. I’ve spoken with my aunt, who will be having a sit down with my father, but I suppose I’ll have to accept his money for the rest of college. After that - well, here’s hoping I can make my own living. Thank you again, everyone.</p>