HELP. PhD English: Statement of Purpose!

Applying to College
1

<p>I need help.</p>

<p>If anyone could read it over and give me suggestions, I'd be extremely indebted.</p>

<p>I'm having a difficult time trying to relate my past with my future. Essentially, it is what got me here. It is two pages, which I feel is far too long. </p>

<p>I'll leave it up to you, guys!</p>

<p>Thank you in advance.</p>

<pre><code> Statement of Purpose
</code></pre>

<p><i>Teaching at 10</i></p>

<p>Despite its many victories and honorable mentions in baseball players, beauty pageants, and Salto Angel, its 3,212-foot waterfall that drapes above the Amazonian floor, Venezuela is widely known for its barmy dictator, gushing oil production, and home—for me, a first-generation everything. Those raised in a bilingual household are predisposed to understanding that there is more than one way to say anything; it is an indeterminate flexibility. Thus, literature has continued to charm my incessant need for analysis. </p>

<p>By the age of 10, I was teaching my mother the spelling and pronunciation of the English language (speaking it did not pose as much a problem), because she had failed her citizenship exam in 1986, and those applying only get two chances. In conjunction, I was also failing in certain areas of sound; “bethroom” was my mother’s pronunciation of “bedroom,” but I would hear “bathroom.” When helping her study the question of how many stripes does the United States flag have she would respond with “It has 13 strays.” I had to work extra hard getting my mother to understand certain concepts and even harder for myself to not fall behind. Because of this, I, more than most, have gained an acute sense of hearing and of course, listening, but not before the most disappointing moment of my elementary school career.</p>

<p>I had a foldable chalkboard that my father purchased when he heard that I was in the Spelling Bee Championship. The night before the championship, and while my father was cooking dinner, I remember helping my mother with the word ‘beautiful’. It was on the spelling study list, but I already knew it. On the chalkboard, and as my mother sat diligently, I wrote:</p>

<p>B-O-N-I-T-A = B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L </p>

<p>“Ooo, comienza con la misma letra!” she excitedly said.</p>

<p>“Yes it does, but not every English word will begin with the same letter as the Spanish one. Close your eyes now, Ma. Spell it out for me.” </p>

<p>“Ve-Eh-Ah-Ooo,” she responded, but I cut her off before she could finish, “Nooo. Bee-Eee-Aye-Ewe. Try again, Ma.”</p>

<p>“No mas, XXXX. Esta es todo para la noche.” </p>

<p>I could not believe that she, after one word, was done for the night.</p>

<p>“Mama, if you fail the citizenship exam again you’ll be sent back to Venezuela.”
I did not want to lose her. When she worked a third shift factory job months earlier, my father was the one who had brushed my older sister’s hair and mine and braided it or put it in a bun—he didn’t know what he was doing. A completed braid looked like a twist ice cream cone and a bun looked no different from a bird’s nest. Not to mention how my eyebrows were raised two inches because of how tight he pulled; I always looked alert. I did not want to lose her. </p>

<p>A dispirited look immediately occupied her olive colored face as confusion enveloped mine. She was 34 and I was barely 11, and how I could have more persistence and initiative about a topic that I was not struggling in baffled my adolescent mind. Was I to console my mother in this moment? Was I to tell her not to give up? Was I to reassure her that practice makes perfect? Was I supposed to pledge that I‘d always be here to help in the moments she needs it most? Yes, I was, I did, and I continue to. I knew that in the Spanish alphabet V is pronounced B and I is pronounced E amongst many other variations that make it so difficult to retrain the human tongue into pronouncing something different. The pull in my mother’s eyes and mouth to pronounce the B in beautiful instead of V was something I had never experienced. I was always fluent in two languages—I do not remember a time where I was not. I did not have an accent and when I spoke Spanish, I spoke like a native and there was never strain or pull in pronouncing any word. </p>

<p>Regardless, my mother was finished studying for the night and I knew I had to be too. The dinner table was set and it was time to eat; I hastily finished eating my caraota, a creamy black bean soup, and headed to bed. It was the eve of the Spelling Bee Championship and I had to be extra sharp.</p>

<p>That next morning came and went. I was waiting patiently for students to file in, families to arrive, and for everyone to become seated in the gymnasium. My mother and father were unable to attend and I was okay with that; my father worked until 10pm every night and a chubby 3-month-old boy was added to our family tree that occupied much of my mother’s time. As the competition finally began, I remained seated, while mentally spelling out the other candidate's words. It was during the middle of biting my nails that I heard a deep womanly voice call out “XXXX XXXX.” I rose and confidently strode toward the front of the stage.</p>

<p>“Your word is—Coffin.” </p>

<p>“Could you use it in a sentence, please?” I asked.</p>

<p>“When it comes to a certain type of coffin, it’s best to consult a funeral home,” the woman proclaimed.</p>

<p>After her example sentence, I knew that I would advance to the second round.</p>

<p>“Coffin. C-O-U-G-H-I-N-G. Coffin” I said.</p>

<p>“Oooooh, I’m sorry. That’s incorrect,” she exclaimed.</p>

<p>I turned around on the stage and away from the 3ft tall microphone, sat back down, tucked my feet underneath the chair, rested my arms on my lap, and waited for the Spelling Bee to be over. To be honest, a coffin was something I would not have minded resting in at that point. All I could think about was “bethroom,” “bathroom,” “bedroom,” “strays,” and how I was supposed to teach my mother about the English language’s variety of the F sound if I cannot even hear it clear enough to spell aloud correctly. It was a big moment of collapse in my life, and one of the first times I have ever experienced disappointment. It is because of that childhood moment that my educational career has yet to waiver—an unfathomable dedication in the English language and all the individuals that helped shape and advance it. </p>

<p><i>Teaching at 25</i></p>

<p>Deemed a vital asset to my current employer after my first teaching evaluation, and with no prior college teaching experience, I was eager to keep reading the following 15 pages of results, until I breached “Course Content.” There I read my first negative comment: “Although the course assignment was refreshing and instilled critical thinking, instructor should be more aware of her student’s knowledge level.” </p>

<p>Teaching English at a career college and without a PhD does not allow certain permissions and privileges. Of the curriculum strictness, I do find wiggle room to teach Shakespeare in any way that I can. My evaluation took place on a day where I posed my Communication 150: Introduction to Information Literacy student’s the following statement: William Shakespeare did not write any text that he is known for. Within this statement, the student’s were to choose pertinent research databases to which they would scholarly argue for or against this claim in one page. This assignment was still coinciding with Bloom’s Taxonomy and the overall course outcomes. Since a few students do not know how to research without using Google or Wikipedia, this assignment was challenging them to professionally research. Out of the 19 papers I received for this assignment, not one student came across as being unaware of who William Shakespeare was. </p>

<p>This recent moment in my career has me, for the first time, feeling aloof. I have always wanted to teach college, and I am, but it is not the desired area. I made a promise never to neglect the Renaissance. While I am not abandoning it, I am consumed in other academic areas. I must keep researching the political influence that I feel Shakespeare was under while composing. While this is an extension of my master’s essay, which is currently pending monograph publication, complications made it difficult to devote the amount of research I feel this topic deserves. The University of XXXX allows room to bounce around ideas and interests while completing the PhD degree. Of this space, I would benefit. I need space to subjectively think freely, for my own sanity, and a warm community that will pull me back into clarity and purpose when I stray too far.</p>

2

<p>“Teaching at 10” is interesting, but way too long and circumstantial for this kind of essay. Cut to the chase. “Teaching at 25,” on the other hand, seems vague by comparison and is poorly written, with all sorts of stylistic infelicities and imprecisely used words. e.g. “Within this statement,” "“this recent moment in my career has me feeling aloof.” “Scholarly” is an adjective, not an adverb. If you use apostrophes on plural nouns, split infinitives, end sentences with prepositions, and so on, you are not going to impress an admissions committee. “Of the curriculum strictness” does not make sense. “Despite the constraints of a fixed curriculum”?</p>

<p>Most PhD programs are primarily interested in students who are capable of doing interesting research. You might want to explain your research interests at greater length–“the political influence Shakespeare was under while composing” is pretty vague–unless you address them in another part of the application.</p>

3

<p>Never post an essay online! Besides the risk of someone stealing it, it’s easy to identify people that way. </p>

<p>That said…this needs a lot of revision, and it might be better to start from scratch. It would be a great essay for a college application, but it is not at all appropriate for a graduate app.</p>

<p>You need to cover:</p>

<p>(1) Brief academic and research history to date
----> What classes have you taken that are relevant to your interests? How did you develop interests in the areas you did? Expand on any lectures or articles you’ve done.</p>

<p>(2) What your research interests are
----> Your interest in Shakespeare is very vague. Make this more specific. What do you want to focus on? Political events represented in his works? The impact of trade and imperialism? Gender and ethnicity as models of the time? Professors will be looking for a reasonably focused interest that matches their own. </p>

<p>(3) Why you want to attend graduate school and what you hope to get out of it
----> Why do you need/want a PhD?</p>

<p>(4) Why you want to attend that particular university and program
----> Why is this university a good fit? How do your interests mesh with those of the faculty? Do they offer courses or research in your area of interest?</p>

<p>Incidentally, be aware of what you’re getting into. Some graduate programs are “warm communities,” and some are cesspits of faculty apathy and student competition. PhD programs are highly stressful and you often don’t have much time to think beyond your immediate project. “Sane” is not a word I would use to describe many grad students. ;)</p>

4

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<p>Learn that plurals of nouns do not have apostrophes (unless they are possessive plurals, of course).</p>

5

<p>Thank you all.</p>

<p>The more you know the harder things are. Applying to get my master’s wasn’t this difficult.</p>

<p>My first portion does not match up with my second, obviously.</p>

6

<p>How do I answer all of those questions without sounding redundant? </p>

<p>I’ve tried, and to be honest, I feel foolish and laymen like.</p>

7

<p>Have you asked for help with this in the Grad School Forum? [Graduate</a> School - College Confidential](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/graduate-school/]Graduate”>Graduate School - College Confidential Forums) Someone there should have useful ideas for you.</p>