Here’s the deal- I live in West Virginia and due to financial reasons I’m pretty set on going to an in state school. I could have gone out of state on the common market, but I’m pretty undecided at the moment so being able to change my major is important to me. West Virginia really doesn’t have any schools that I’m particularly fond of. Right now it’s between WVU and Marshall. If I didn’t have a boyfriend at Marshall, I would probably go to WVU. All through high school I always talked about how I wanted to get alway from the kids from my high school, and meet new people, because Marshall is like 40 minutes away from my house and there’s nothing to do there. WVU at least has some more activities, but they have SO MUCH partying which is something I really hate. I don’t like being around loads of people so I feel like I would like the smaller, calmer atmosphere of Marshall, despite it being to close to home. Any opinions on WVU and marshall? My parents think that if I choose to go to Marshall I am “following” my boyfriend, but the truth is both schools are equally bleh to me. I LOVE my boyfriend and I know he is someone special, he’s just really not too willing to do the distance thing (idk if I’d call it distance, WVU is only 3 hrs away I could see him on weekends). Should I choose the college that my boyfriend goes to? Can I still get the college experience at a smaller school that has a lot of kids from my high school?
Thanks for any help, I’m really stressing.
Marshall has a total undergrad enrollment of close to 10K, distributed among all of its campuses. How many students are in your HS graduating class? I imagine it would be a small % of the total student body and they could be easily avoided.
I don’t know much about either school but WVU’s reputation as a party school is well established. Its always possible to find non-partiers but you may have to work more at it. There are 30K students there, so I think that chances are good you’d find fellow students that aren’t into the drinking scene. There is also an Honors College which is probably less party-oriented. There may also be substance-free dorms or floors of dorms - you could ask about this.
Your post suggest some inner conflict - at the beginning you say “If I didn’t have a boyfriend at Marshall, I would probably go to WVU.” Later you say: “My parents think that if I choose to go to Marshall I am “following” my boyfriend, but the truth is both schools are equally bleh to me.” Which is it?
Thanks for the reply! I always thought I would go to WVU just to get away from my hometown, not because I like Morgantown. I actually dislike Morgantown. I like the area of Huntington but it’s so darn close to home so that’s why I’m indifferent towards Marshall. But you are right I would be able to find people outside of my school. I feel like now I have a more concrete reason to go to Marshall because of my boyfriend. I know we could always break up so if I went to Marshall I don’t want to sacrifice the ability to meet new people
Try the mind game: If I didn’t have this relationship, which school would be a better choice for me? (No, you won’t have to hang out with high school class-mates in college if you don’t want too. Mamadefamilia is right about that and has some good suggestions for avoiding the party scene generally. ) Have you visited both campuses while classes are in session? Have you sat in on some classes? Taken the tours? Checked out the available majors and the coursework?
The reason to play the mind game is that most high school romances don’t last, even when both parties attend the same college. The fact that your boyfriend doesn’t want to continue the relationship if you are 3 hrs away tells you a lot about his commitment level. That isn’t going to get better, by the way, just by you attending the same school. My S’s relationship with his high school girlfriend didn’t make it through the first semester after she matriculated at his school - they both had changed too much in the year apart.
I just want to add that my daughter is a freshman at WVU and is not a partier. She knew nobody there and has found plenty of people that aren’t into the party scene and has found a lot to do. You can find parties at all colleges, it’s up to you if you go to the parties. Also, parties can be fun as long as you remember you are going to college for the education and don’t let them rule your life.
At WVU there are substance-free dorms where you’ll be able to escape the parties and which will provide interesting options not involving alcohol. (Note that you promise not to have parties in the dorm, but you can go to any party you wish if you so choose.)
It doesn’t have to be WVU or Marshall, either. Many students apply to 4+ colleges and are waiting for their March relies.
What about Shepherd?
You’re close to Ohio and KY: many of the colleges there have agreements fo WV students, check them out.
Is your family lower-income? What’s your budget for college? What are your stats? Some private OOS universities with 2/1 deadlines may have pretty good deals for you. Check out Randolph Macon or Ohio Wesleyan for instance. WKU is a nice small university with an excellent Honors College (depending on stats).
Unfortunately nobody out here has a crystal ball and can predict which is better. Maybe this guy is the guy you’ll spend the rest of your life with, but odds are probably against it. For one thing, it sounds like you are in HS and he is already at Marshall. If he isn’t willing to do the “long distance thing” now, what is going to change when he graduates and moves away for work or grad school?
You say you’ve always wanted to get away, both geographically and from the kids around you. So do it! This is literally the best chance you’re ever going to have in life, when everything you own fits into a suitcase or two, you don’t have a mortgage to pay or kids in school, etc. Go to WVU, break up with this guy and get over the heartache, find a new BF at WVU. Unless, of course, there is some reason you think you won’t be able to find a new BF (in which case this guy has you over a barrel).
There’s no doubt that you can lose yourself and find new friends and experiences in a large campus such as WVU. Also, so be so quick to dismiss the opportunities provided by a college tuition exchange consortium.
I second the recommendation of Ohio Wesleyan University. Consider also Ohio University and U of Akron. Plenty of males at and nearby those campuses. Akron is essentially a STEM school, so if you have good GPA/test scores, as a female applicant they might entice you with significant financial aid. Like all STEM or “Tech” schools, Akron wants to improve the gender balance on campus.
Ooh, the college-relationship conflict. I’m going through the same thing, so I sympathize with you.
HOWEVER, a teacher who I’m really close with once told me he chose his college based on where his girlfriend was going and he regrets it more than pretty much anything else. You’ll still be in the same state, so your relationship won’t be impossible to keep up. It’ll be a good opportunity for you both.
That’s my advice and personal opinion. I think if you were meant to be together, you will be. Go where you want to go and let everything else fall into place. Worst case scenario, you regret your decision and you can transfer at the end of your first semester.
Best of luck!
thanks for the replies everyone. This really helped!! I’ve chosen to go to WVU to spread my wings, and im going to focus on school. If things work out with the guy, they work out. But I realize it would be silly to allow this relationship to dictate where I choose toa spend the next four years of my life, when he may or may not be in the picture by the time I graduate.
Congratulations on your decision!