i am currently a high school senior. although i should be committed to a school by now, i recently received two opportunities to attend colleges/universities i was waitlisted at.
one of them is vassar college. the other is ucla.
i want to attend ucla. however, my parents think that vassar is the better fit for me. they don’t like the large classes. they also don’t love the idea of my potentially being taught by a ta instead of a professor.
i truly do not know what to do, and if i do attend ucla, they will not pay for tuition.
had i known this, i would’ve applied for financial aid (at ucla). however, our income bracket would not qualify me for much, if any money.
with a day and a half before i need to commit, i am so lost, upset, and concerned about what to do. my intended major is political science.
i have so much respect for vassar. it is a fabulous school. but i did not feel that it was the place i wanted to be. no one around me supports my desire to attend ucla, and right now i just need some advice. i know my parents don’t mean ill, but without their support, it’s hard to feel happy about making a significant decision in my life.
anything would be helpful. i have read similar forums in the past, but with these two schools being so drastically different, it was hard to find one i could relate to.
thank you in advance. i truly appreciate it.
Are you in state for California? If not, applying for FA wouldn’t have gotten you anything. Honestly, I’d encourage my kid to go to Vassar, too. Out of state tuition to a state university with large class sizes wouldn’t be something I’d be keen to pay for, either.
@intparent I agree that it’s a high climb for tuition, in terms of a public school (I am OOS). Up until I got into Vassar, they were happy with me going (To UCLA), but now that’s all changed. Thank you for your input!
There’s way too much emphasis on “fit” these days.
Fit this. Fit that. Blah blah blah. The best fit is a college in which you will earn a solid degree, gain real world experience along the way, and graduate with the least amount of debt possible.
Yes, this is your future. My advice is for you to be an adult, take the emotion out of it, and present the pluses and minuses of each college to your parents. Take a hard look yourself, and if UCLA comes out on top with categories other than “fit” and “feels right”, then your parents will likely come on board. If not, then go online and buy your Vasser t-shirt.
The second you step on campus, own it. Your parents are right in that there’s something to be said about smaller class sizes and real professors teaching you. Meet with professors and try to do research your first year. Go beyond the classroom and get involved in campus and local politics. Make sure you are involved with state and federal campaigns. Position yourself to earn internships every summer.
College is not going to make you. It’s what you make of it. Good luck.
@Materof2 Can’t say I haven’t tried what you suggested. I am well aware it shouldn’t just be about my fitting in, and I’ll try to be more clear about that next time when posting. I’ll continue to look more in depth for my chosen department at each of these schools. Thank you for your advice!
If they have drawn the line, they have drawn it. Meet with them again with solid pros and cons lists. Now a new big con is the increased price tag. Present it to your parents, and indicate in a mature, adult way that you are choosing Vassar based on this pros and cons list. Admit that their withdrawal of support is a big factor in your decision, but don"t dwell on it…tell them you are committing to Vassar, and move on in your head. I wouldn’t presume to think that a I think like all parents, but I know I personally wouldn’t make this type of a limitation unless I felt EXTREMELY strongly about my perspective. It would keep me awake at night to affect my child’s decision that way. That said, TA’s are the PITs in most cases…and Vassar is terrific,
@Materof2, I respectfully disagree. Based on whatever criteria the OP is using, UCLA is the fit for him or her. The parents see it differently, but ideally the decision of fit is in the eyes of the beholder, the one walking to class everyday.
Then again, the ones paying the bill have some say.
Your parents are making this decision for you. You have no reasonable way to pay for UCLA.
Your choices are really wherever you committed May 1st and Vassar.
OP, if your parents won’t pay for you to attend UCLA, then I don’t think you have a choice, I’m sorry to say. Vassar is a great school. I hope you will go happily and find your place there.
There’s no decision to make : op can borrow 5.5k and UCLA is 60k. Without parental help, op is not going to UCLA.
Tiebreak choice is Vassar vs.wherever op had deposited in May first.
It’s hard to see why you’d want to go to UCLA for political science rather than Vassar. Poli science, as a social science, works better in small, discussion-based classes - which Vassar provides. In addition, if your goal is graduate or law school, Vassar doesn’t curve, whereas UCLA does.
I also don’t see any compelling reason in your op justifying 'why UCLA '.
What’s your other choice (the one where you deposited?)
@lilavocado
Where have you currently deposited? Do you like that school better than UCLA or Vassar? Would you be happy there? What is the cost as compared to your WL options?
TAs, by the way, are not the devil’s spawn. They are merely apprentice professors in training with less knowledge and less experience than faculty that already have obtained the PhD. Some of them are very good natural teachers. Often they are highly motivated, excited about the material, and enthusiastic. In some cases, they offer a better experience than the teacher that has been teaching from the same lecture notes for a decade. They are also assistants - they are not the lead instructor but offer support in labs, discussion sections, grading, study sessions, etc.
That said, I think that UCLA at out of state prices for large classes is a poor value. As a parent, I could more easily justify the upcharge for Vassar because you’d be getting smaller classes, better attention from professors due to lower student/teacher ratios, and you’d be more likely to graduate on time. It is also highly ranked and prestigious.
Is Vassar within a reasonable driving distance from your home? That might also be a factor for your folks. Aside from the cost and hassle factor of arranging air transportation, they might be wanting you to be a bit closer to family.
^You won’t find professors “who’ve been teaching with the same lecture notes for a decade”. Not in any good LAC or any top 200 national university or top 40 regional university. They can’t. The profession is competitive (lots of benchmarking) requires a lot of changes, both in content and in delivery. I’d say no class can remain constant more than a year or two in the social sciences and humanities (students can learn the required techniques and processes through a variety of materials + technology/budget cuts/new research require teaching innovations.)
I agree TA’s aren’t the devil’s spawn, but having 3 16-student discussion-based seminar sessions a week vs. 1 (+ a 400-people lecture), per class, makes a HUGE difference in Humanities/Social sciences, and having a professor who actually sees your thinking evolve and grow - who will in turn write a personal recommendation for you- makes a big difference too.
A few days ago you were worried about having your offer from Scripps rescinded for a couple of B’s. Your other threads indicate you’re from Oregon and your choices seem to be OOS, so you’ll be attending residential college wherever you go. I’d be happy about that. What are the differences in the net costs between Scripps and Vassar? If you don’t have to worry about taking loans, you can focus on things like program strengths, opportunities, campus life, weather, and whatever else is important to you.
Huh. Well… personally, I’d pick Scripps over both the others anyway. 
It doesn’t matter where she deposited on May 1st. She got off the WL at two other schools.
However the question is moot. << if i do attend ucla, they will not pay for tuition. >>
There’s nothing left to do unless parents change their minds to pay $60k per year for UCLA. The student never would have qualified for aid at UCLA even if applied.
^Well, where she deposited matters because the real question is “other school vs. Vassar”, not “UCLA vs. Vassar”.
Sorry if I don’t feel too sorry for you, but Vassar is a great school. Believe it or not, sometimes our parents know what is best for us. Go and don’t look back.
For a political science major at the undergraduate level, a great liberal arts college such as Vassar is a much better choice.
Yes, I am committed to Scripps, which is more alike to Vassar in its being a LAC.
Vassar and Scripps, unlike UCLA, are chances I’ll only get once with them being colleges and not universities. I am fortunate to have them as choices, for sure.
I’ll talk to my folks again and see what they want to do.
Thanks for your guys’ input! It has definitely helped. 