<p>"1.) what the example is, and 2.) how it relates to the thesis. The huge description isn't necessary. Begin with a concise point on how it relates, talk about what it is (this should be the longest, but don't go in too deep, just the basics), and end with a closing statement to sum it up."</p>
<p>okay so for example... (Essay topic: Does conscience motivate people or does money, fame or power?)</p>
<p>Thesis: People change in order to obtain money, fame or power.</p>
<p>Paragraph:</p>
<p>1st sentence: what example is being used and an indication of relevance to the thesis</p>
<p>ex. The motivation to change due to a lust for power is seen in Shakespeare's Macbeth in which the title character kills a beloved king in order to obtain the throne.</p>
<p>2nd - 4th Sentence: brief detailed (?) description</p>
<p>ex. Macbeth, at first a noble and honorable subject to the king, allows his desires to overwhelm his conscience and better judgement. As a result, he cold-bloodedly murders King Duncan when the king is asleep and then claims the throne his. Consequently, he decides to eradicate any oppostion to his ascension to power including his good friend Banquo. </p>
<p>(Here is where I usually start going like: "Macbeth's decision only shows how once good men, succumbing to their lusts for power, become heartless savages") [I sometimes go on for another 2 sentences like that, neccessary or not?]</p>
<p>5th: Closing statement that directly correlates the example back to the thesis.</p>
<p>With such an intense yearning for power, Macbeth willingly recants his morals and virtues in order to become king, which epitomizes mankind's willingness to change for power.</p>
<p>Is that what it should look like?
If not, please revise, add, do whatever to make it a 12 qualtiy please.</p>
<p>One thing I was a bit uncertain about was whether it needs a more detailed description of the book. How detailed must i get? Should I talk about the witches' prophecy? Or perhaps about Macduff? What about Lady Macbeth, should I include her? The essays that aren't "insightful," according to CB, don't go into enough detail. So how much detail is needed?</p>
<p>Feedback please.</p>