I believe my kid has ptsd from junior year! Although excited about college search, the only part she has not begun is her essay. Apparently, I have not given her enough of a break after good academically but stressful (as it should be) year! Should I let her be and come to realization on her own or continue nagging to avoid cramming during senior year?
It can be a good idea to get a draft of the common app essay done before senior year starts. But there still is plenty of time left in the summer for that. Let your D have some summer down time. Don’t nag, but give her some gentle reminders come August.
The one thing I hated more than anything during my time in school was my parents breathing down my back forcing me to do things because “high school should be stressful”. A successful year does not have to equal a stressful year. When they loosened their grip in sophomore year, I began doing a lot more things that I actually enjoyed and the stress was very much alleviated.
No kid should leave junior year with PTSD or anything that can be remotely construed as PTSD. I know you meant it in jest, but then again, your last sentence is concerning.
Yes applications are soon especially for early applicants but give your daughter a break; it’s summer after all. I personally believe that you should help your daughter manage/schedule her application but not cram the essay down her throat July. The Early Action deadlines are typically November 1st - three and a half months away. Give her a break after a good year.
I have now come to that realization to let her be! I honestly don’t know how much is supporting, helping her realize her ability and how much is pushing/nagging to get her going. I have a niggling thought that she may be scared to start it, daunted by the whole process and lack of certainty. Sorry about ptsd use, but taking bc cal without ab or precal from alg 2, apchem, apush, and other ap’s plus absences for music All States and community organizations really stressed her out! I know other kids do just fine but all I know…she’s so relieved it’s over!!! Thank you @wisteria100, and @Syrxis for input!
I asked my kid to sit down and work with me to develop a calendar schedule of when things would be due for her applications. A paper calendar might be best – with the target dates for when the applications are due (marking which ones have supplemental essays). Assume they should be submitted a few days before the deadlines (the Common App application has been known to crash when there is a heavy load, and things like hurricanes can cause problems as well!). Also mark due dates for things like financial aid paperwork. Then ask her how long ahead of time SHE thinks she should try to have a draft of her essays done.
So as you may or may not know, while there is ONE essay for the Common App, some schools have supplemental essays as well. And some of those are pretty “meaty” topics, depending on the school. So she needs to leave time for that. She should have SOME adult review her essays. It doesn’t have to be you, but she can’t come in a panic to that person the day before it is due. This is the one area where I offered to my kids to hire a professional counselor if they didn’t want to work with me on their essays. They decided to work with me, but we often exchanged them via email with no “verbal” communications on them. The one exception was when they were stuck with no idea of what to write about – we had a couple of brainstorming sessions together when that happened where we both threw out ideas related to the prompt, and it helped them realize that it wasn’t hopeless and there were actually topics they could write about. 
Don’t forget to put requesting recommendation letters on the calendar, too. She needs to remember that (1) she should give teachers plenty of notice – a couple of months is great; (2) the most popular teachers sometimes get too many requests, so she should get to them early; (3) she should ask if the teachers need more info – a brag sheet, into on what she wants to study, etc.
That is also a great idea!! Once she gets into the right headspace, she will probably want to do this with me. Thank you, @intparent!!!
I nagged my kid SO much about doing her common app essay during the summer. We used a private advisor who also nagged her. She didn’t do it until she was good and ready, and that was after I stopped nagging her. She finally finished it in time for her EA apps. So I wish I hadn’t nagged her, and if she got stressed out and ended up rushing it, oh well. At least she learned something from the experience. She got into nine colleges, including one of her top choices, so it all worked out in the end. I suggest occasional gentle reminders as opposed to nagging.
It finally hit her after I left her alone for a bit. It did help that she saw her friends working on everything; bless social media! Thank you, @Lindagaf!