What should my senior have done by now for her applications?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi- my daughter is a senior in high school, and obviously will soon be applying to college. I feel like we are really behind the power curve in terms of where she should be with her essays and applications.</p>

<p>She has done almost nothing, but make no mistake she is a worker, and works for hours on end on her homework. She says she will get around to it, but is so swamped with work.</p>

<p>What in your opinion should she have done by now? Most of the schools to which she is applying accept the common application but she will use a few schools' own app. I mean she hasn't even started on her essay!!</p>

<p>So I am taking over now, this weekend, there are to be no plans until she gets started on this...what is a reasonable workload to have her work on this weekend? Anyone have any input on what you think is fair and on what timeline? Thanks!</p>

2

<p>I totally sympathize. Everyone told me “make sure she does her essay over the summer” but after much prodding (some gentle, some not), she has not touched it. And some parents/kids are VERY on top of it (scheduling their own interviews, essays all done and being proofed, supplements being polished). I guess first question is: will she apply early anywhere? If yes, work backwards from their deadlines (typically Nov 1 or Nov 15 depending on school). In my mind, essay should be done by 1st week of October in order to get feedback. My D’s English teacher made turning in a draft an actual homework assignment! Maybe your child’s English teacher (past or present) could do that too – then it’s just another homework assignment, not WRITING THE ESSAY. I think it’s so fraught for them, they put it off. Another approach is to discuss her topic. Common app is actually quite open/loose with essay ideas – significant experience; influential person (living or dead). Get her to start thinking/reflecting on something in her past that is linked to who she is now/who she wants to be. Good luck!</p>

3

<p>At this point, D had done nothing for college apps except ask for teacher recommendations. She got accepted to 8/8 schools including Williams and Swarthmore and a great merit scholarship at our state U. My advice is to look up deadlines and let her handle it. But, I’m a much more “hands off” mom than others here.</p>

4

<p>For the weekend, I’d suggest that she brainstorm a couple of essay topics, with your assistance as a sounding board if necessary, and pound out a quick first draft or list of notes of the “brain dump” variety, depending on how her writing process works. Sometimes just breaking the ice by getting some words and ideas down, even if she never ends up using those actual ideas or words, helps a lot in the creative process.</p>

<p>If she has two essays, it is likely that she can massage them to fit most applications: one as the Personal Statement, the other as the supplemental essay.</p>

<p>She should also decide who to ask for her recommendations, if she hasn’t done so already, and plan to ask them next week. Don’t overlook asking a coach, EC mentor/teacher, or employer in addition to the usual two teachers, especially if the activity is important to her and the person really knows her. (Check to see if any of the schools require teachers from specific disciplines, as the U of C does.)</p>

<p>If she has at least a preliminary list, she should check the schools’ websites to see if any of their traveling ad coms will be in your area for interviews. Even if the school is only under consideration, it is worth checking. The U of Rochester, for example, is a school that really values the interview, and their ad com was in our area in October, before S had added the school to his list. Opportunity missed. </p>

<p>That would be enough for now, I think!</p>

5

<p>Has your daughter missed deadlines in the past? Does she have a track record of getting things done or not getting things done? </p>

<p>If she’s always late getting her work submitted, she’ll probably be late with her essays and applications too.</p>

<p>If she always gets the work done, she will get the essays and applications done too.</p>

<p>I suggested my approach and she wasn’t interested so I backed off. Rather than imposing my timeline on D2, I adjusted my schedule to be available to her for questions, research or editing.</p>

<p>Sorry if I sound rough, but if the kids can’t handle the application process, are they ready to go to college? I haven’t supervised her homework for years and I certainly won’t be able to do so when she’s away at college. </p>

<p>That being said, here are a few suggestions (our situation is complicated in that many schools do not use the common app, all have additional supplements, there are auditions and very early deadlines):</p>

<ul>
<li><p>I familiarized myself with each application and the navigation of the different websites. As she goes thru them and has questions, I can help without having to learn my way around the site.</p></li>
<li><p>I charted out deadlines and each school’s requirements; ie, what pieces are needed for each school (so that I have a big picture overview; I did not do this for D1 and regretted it; she was extremely capable, but I should have been more involved). D2 knows I’ve done this and has no interest in looking at it. I have NOT extracted the essay requirements from each school (this was the big issue that I wanted her to do, so that she could minimize how many essays she needs to write)</p></li>
</ul>

<p>Bottom line: I cannot control her actions but I can be prepared to support her in the process.</p>

<p>What are you afraid of? </p>

<p>What is the worse case scenario?</p>

<p>ALSO: she asked a teacher for a letter of recommendation and he, in turn, gave her an assignment. It’s actually great in terms of unifying her application and how she is ‘pitching’ herself to the school. Send me an email or PM if you want to hear what he said.</p>

6

<p>Look at the first Q & A in this column. It might make you feel better.</p>

<p>[Last</a> of 5 Parts, Answers to Your Back-to-School Questions - NYTimes.com](<a href=“http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/17/dingledine-q-and-a-part-5/]Last”>Last of 5 Parts, Answers to Your Back-to-School Questions - The New York Times)</p>

<p>One thing I have seen suggested here that is working well for us is setting a weekly appt with your kid to go over college stuff. That way its not a constant pressure point. Today is College Day at our house and my D has asked that we work on the Common App together. And I will helping her finish up a spreadsheet she created this summer to keep track of deadlines, requirements, etc. We have used prior appts to work on the list, sort and organize all the mailings, etc. In our busy lives its actually been some good mother-daughter time.</p>

<p>I’m really trying to let her GC/peers be the nudges and just provide resources and support. Its gone slower than I might prefer but its still moving and she feels in control so I can live with it.</p>

7

<p>My assignment for your D for this weekend would simply be this: Organize the Job.</p>

<p>That means, on paper:</p>

<p>-List the schools applying to, whether applying ED, EA, or RD, and the corresponding deadlines.</p>

<p>-List each school’s app requirements (Common App, supplement, supplemental essay, how many LORs, etc).</p>

<p>-List teachers who will be asked for a LOR, and date by which they will be asked (this should be done very soon).</p>

<p>-Find out hs deadlines for requests for transcripts, GC LORs, profile, etc. (At our hs it’s one month in advance of college deadline.)</p>

<p>-Estimate time required for key steps in the process, and assign timeframes. For example…Think about and commit to essay topic, 1 hour on Sat; write first draft, 2 1/2 hrs on Sun. Re-read and revise by self, Thu night. Get feedback from 2 people, next weekend. Write 3rd draft, following Thu night. </p>

<p>She can handle most of the process herself, but both of you will sleep better, and know what to expect from her, with this game plan in place.</p>

<p>Lots of parents with seniors are having success with a weekly (Sunday for many of us) check-in to assess status and make sure deadlines are being met or adjusted appropriately.</p>

<p>Don’t worry, she can get this done, and it’s not time to panic. But it is time to get a very specific work plan in place and start working it. Best of luck to your D!</p>

8

<p>I invite all you parents of seniors to join out thread <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/491386-high-school-class-2011-college-class-2015-a.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/491386-high-school-class-2011-college-class-2015-a.html&lt;/a&gt; to talk to, and vent with other parents. I did the spread sheet for our son as do many other parents. I’m prodding him about deadlines, and he’s come up with a (sort of) final list. His common app is done, but the supplements are a different kettle of fish.</p>

9

<p>I am so thankful my Ds English teacher had them write their personal statement’s last year as an assignment! </p>

<p>She logged on and started Common Ap the first day it was available this summer, but I don’t think she’s gone back to it since. </p>

<p>I was planning to hold off until Oct 1 to start nagging, as she plans to apply ED to top choice and by Nov 1 to #2, which has rolling admission, but you need to apply by Nov 1 for meaningful merit aid.</p>

10

<p>The answer really depends on your daughter’s typical work habits. If she has a history of not meeting deadlines, you have a reason to be concerned. If not, I wouldn’t worry about it beyond simply asking her what her plans are for getting throught the entire application process. As momofsongbird mentioned, ask her to get organized this weekend, especially if she will be applying Early Decision.</p>

<p>I am from an application essay coaching/editing service (The College A Team) and we’ve probably only heard from about 10 percent of the clients we will receive this fall. Those are mostly from the true early birds who started over the summer. There will be a rush of orders in about two weeks for our Early Decision clients and then another rush just after Thanksgiving, so your daughter really isn’t all that behind the curve.</p>

11

<p>Here’s some reassurance: Mid-September of my son’s senior year of high school his class ranged from peers focusing on applications with early deadlines to my son narrowing his list of schools to apply to. The entire process worked out well for his class, in part because of his school’s excellent college counseling office. Trust that they work at their own pace and everything gets done. </p>

<p>My suggestion: Figure out what will work for you to help keep added stress away from your high school senior. For me, it was being aware of deadlines and helping with logistics. My husband and I provided prompts: What can we do to help you with X. And, as a family we worked with his college counselor.</p>

12

<p>Does she know where she wants to apply? Any rolling admissions schools? EA/ED?
Did she take all the standardized tests she needs? Did she ask teachers for LORs?</p>

<p>She needs a list or a spreadsheet with all the materials needed and all the deadlines for each school. Some schools have different deadlines for scholarships - you don’t want to miss them!</p>

13

<p>Your daughter can control her own work flow – apps, essays, etc. </p>

<p>She cannot control the lead time needed for letters of recommendation, or a second pair of eyes willing to look at her essays. the LOR writers are not likely to look kindly upon a last minute request requiring them to burn the midnight oil. If she intends to apply to schools that read LORs and essays carefully, then this is the weak point in the system. She should handle this aspect well ahead of time to allow for the people writing these LORS and providing feedback to her essays to do so in a relaxed timeframe. This is especially important for LORs and essays related to a merit scholarship application.</p>

14

<p>A big wall calendar in which she puts the dates and deadlines, with targets each week about what SHOULD be accomplished can be helpful. It’s nice for students to see what they have with college apps plus their other work. Not every kid uses this system, but it does work for some.</p>

<p>My kids used a similar thing on their computers on Ical. They set it up and it kept them on task.</p>

15

<p>scout around for “odd” deadlines.</p>

<p>DD was not applying ED or EA, so figured didnt have to check deadlines till December. Well guess what, CMU’s architecture program wanted the app, WITH portfolio, by Mid November, I think it was. Too late. Now she wasnt particularly set on CMU, and might not have applied anyway. But it would have been a shame if it had been one of her top schools. </p>

<p>As for essay. DD finished her common app essay just before new years, a day or two before her first apps were due. She gave me a bit more grey hair in the process :)</p>

16

<p>If your D is applying to any rolling, EA, ED or schools with early deadlines for merit aid, the very first thing she should do is talk to the teachers she wants to write her LORs and give them the materials they will need. She has personal control over filling in apps, writing essays, etc., but if she doesn’t give teachers enough time, she can miss deadlines and not be able to do anything about it.</p>

17

<p>What we have done so far is made a schedule. We worked backwards from the early application deadlines. She has taken practice SAT Subject tests for the Oct 9 SATs. She is supposed to have written up the schedule in more detail and this week should request recommendations from her teachers. She has an essay topic but has not started writing.</p>

18

<p>What should she have done by now?</p>

<ol>
<li>Asked the teachers to write letters of recommendation and find out what they need (and when!) from her. (One teacher wanted to see at least a rough draft of the main essay as well as a statement about what you’d liked about their class/subject and what your probable college major would be and why.)</li>
<li>Found out what the school deadlines are. (Both our teachers and GCs requested a few weeks lead time.)</li>
<li>Taken the SAT1 and subject tests at least once (or the ACT if you prefer, but make sure there are no schools that require subject tests.)</li>
<li>Read through the Common App and the applications or supplements of any other schools she is considering so that thoughts about essays can at least be percolating.</li>
<li>Visited a few colleges so that she has some idea of urban/suburban/rural or LAC/research university or large/medium/small or defined/undefined campus or anything else might be important issues for her. It’s not critical to visit every school you apply to, though my younger son thought it was far easier to write essays targeted to schools you had seen.</li>
</ol>

<p>What she should do soon (maybe this weekend)

  1. Fill out the easy part of the Common App.
  2. Write a rough draft of one or two essays. There will be the main Common App essay, a short essay about one of her ECs and many colleges may have one or more essays as well.
  3. Decide if she needs to sign up for any more testing.
  4. Make some sort of list/spreadsheet/calendar of the schools she is considering and what their deadlines are. (Teacher will probably need a simplified version once the list is finalized.)</p>

<p>I highly recommending finding a school your child likes that has Early Action as it got both my kids writing essays far sooner than they would have otherwise. </p>

<p>All essays should at least be proofed for spelling and other silly errors.</p>

19

<p>Don’t harp/dwell on should have done things. Do make use of all of the good advice for getting the job done from now forward in time. Try to let her control the process- own the process- as much as possible.</p>

<p>I disagree that all students who don’t get going on things themselves shouldn’t be going on to college. Sometimes there are fears of doing it right that freeze a student. A younger gifted perfectionist, for example, needs to go, will be ready and thrive once there but doesn’t always think ahead… If the child in question should definitely go to college for academic reasons do help them out with the process. Many others have outlined good ways to be sure they own the process but don’t miss deadlines.</p>

<p>This is still early in the application process. Good time to have your child get going on so many things she may be so far oblivious to. Remember every application in by the deadline counts so she is fine. Some of us had a child for whom the word deadline meant “but it’s midnight CALIFORNIA time” regarding that electronic submission, sigh. It will get done and kudos to you for posing your question.</p>