I feel horrible and I don’t know what to do. I was lucky enough to be selected as a QB finalist and a Posse finalist. In the process of this happening simultaneously I lost someone very dear to me and became ill at the same time. I received the Qb notification first, and ranked a few colleges but didn’t sign it right away because I was considering adding 2 more to my list. I did have the intent of signing my match agreement form however. I received the news regarding my family member’s death however a two days later and frankly, I was a mess. The only thing I can really say is that I wasn’t thinking clearly or would not have made the error I did.
I went a few days later to the Posse meeting, and there was another kid there who was in the same situation as me. He asked the Posse moderator what he should do since he had been selected for both programs. She told him to follow the process to the end but that in the end he would have to choose one or the other. I heard this but I believe I misinterpreted her answer. In retrospect I know that this was incorrect information to some extent because there is not a mechanism to follow both programs through to finality and THEN make a decision. The only thing I can offer is that. in my grief I misunderstood what she was saying. I few days later I signed my Posse ED letter with the intent to do the same with QB. (I know…I have no idea WHY I thought this.)
Anyway, a day or two after that I went back to my QB letter to sign it and I reread it. By this time I was still reeling from my Uncle’s death, but I was more calm. To my horror I suddenly realized that I could not sign the letter or I’d be in violation of both agreements.
I should have called QB right away, but to be honest I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do so I did nothing. I didn’t sign my QB letter. I don’t know what is going to happen with Posse but I feel horrible about QB. I have not talked to them I guess because I’m still afraid of what will happen, but I can’t sleep at night, my nerves are bad, and I’m more of a mess now than I was when I first found out about my Uncle’s death.
I’ve worked so hard to be a good student and to have these opportunities. I truly meant no harm or disrespect to either program, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I don’t know what I should do now. Please give me some advice because I really need it. I haven’t spoken to my parents about this either because I think they assumed that I was just going with the Posse application. I know my mom would have stopped me from signing either form until I was sure, but the day I signed the Posse form I took my dad with me because my mom was out of town. He listened to the explanation as I did but I know he probably thought that Posse was my decision. He didn’t question the signing. That’s not his fault, but I just wanted to explain how it came to be that I signed the form.
Thank you all in advance.