Help!!

<p>My parents are totally convinced that I should go to a local community college for 2 years after I graduate from high school. This is really something that I DO NOT want to do. But they've heard all of these success stories of good old-fashioned local kids that went to a good old-fashioned local CC and now they have good old-fashioned families and good old-fashioned local jobs. My dad went to a community college, my mom's brother went to a CC, his daughter went to a CC and then transferred to a local private to major in nuclear med, just lots of good people that made lots out of their lives going to a CC. And what's more? If you have a 23 ACT and 3.5 GPA in high school, the CC is SCOTT FREE! So they want me to go there and mooch off them for a couple years and live at home and get a part time job and then transfer to something later.</p>

<p>This is a problem because recently I'd been thinking that I might want to check out NYU or Emory. If my parents don't even want me living at college, what would they think if I wanted to go to lower Manhattan or Atlanta? I'm totally unsatisfied with Podunk, Ohio and I want OUT.</p>

<p>My mom never went to college and yet she has all these ideas about what I should do with my life. I'm afraid that if I say no to the community college, they'll be totally unwilling to cooperate with me on my education. They also think that AP/Honors classes are a waste of time, since my cousin said "we're in exactly the same place in the book as those kids in the honors classes; the only difference is that they have to write more papers." So I don't know how I'm going to explain to my parents that I want to SELF-STUDY a couple APs, as my school doesn't offer any. (Sorry about my use of caps, but that's easier than bold or italics)</p>

<p>Is there a way I can change this mindset? I really really don't want to settle for a community college with a 4.0 unweighted GPA and test scores way higher than that 23 ACT. I feel like that's a total waste of my time and talent, and the classes they teach there are high school level anyway.</p>

<p>You have to explain to them the significant advantages of attending a school likw NYU or Emory over a community college - if you're looking at med school or professional/grad schools then placement %'s would be a great place to start.</p>

<p>You also need to communicate (so that they actually hear you) the fact that you want to and can take on the big, bad world of elite college admissions.</p>

<p>Sometimes parents will push a less challenging option in an effort to protect their child from what they believe might be too painful. Everyone with a college age child has heard the horror stories about what the application process is doing to kids these days, how much pressure they are under, what enormous blows to their self-esteem await them in that process...and it can be hard for some parents to want their child to engage in that. It could be that your parents are feeling that way, particularly because of their own past college experiences (or in the case of your mom, non-college experiences) which, I'm sure, have served them well. So part of your job may be letting them know that you feel able to take on that kind of challenge, and more than that, REALLY want it.</p>

<p>On a more practical level, perhaps you could show them your devotion to this by earning the money for applications fees yorself - or better yet, starting your own "college fund" into which you will put earnings that you will apply only to college expenses. And then, of course, research the places you have become most interested in (NYU, Emory, wherever) so you can speak to them with some specificity about why there instead of your local CC, and how you can expect to pay for it (financial aid and merit scholarships that may be available to you). </p>

<p>It is possible that you may get a combination of awards that would make the value of such an education apparent even to your parents, but you would never know that until you apply, so argue for just taking the first step of applying and then seeing what happens.</p>

<p>Thanks for the replies, and I'm sorry if I sounded a little angry in my post; I didn't really mean it that way.</p>

<p>It might be in order for me to explain a couple things. I live in a rural area where going to an elite college is not really valued very much. Most of the good students go to private Christian schools or to fourth-tier public schools in the area. Even though many are capable of much better, they don't look beyond a 3 hour drive away. </p>

<p>If I were to take my free two years and then transfer to a four-year school, would these elite colleges give any consideration to someone who went to a community college? Do they still use your high school info for admissions?</p>

<p>Another option is for me to try for a full-ride at a local private school and then go to an elite school for a master's degree. If it's of any help, I'm looking at an engineering major followed by an MBA. As a freshman in high school I received a $10,000/year institutional scholarship to one of these colleges, so I know they're easy to get. This might be a good compromise because it would still be inexpensive, yet I wouldn't be living at home and it would be a little more academically challenging.</p>

<p>Any more thoughts?</p>

<p>Sounds like it will be difficult to get around your parents' point of view, especially if you want to go to to a high-priced school (if you don't get sufficient aid) that is far away (scary for some parents, plus high transportation costs on top of it all). If there is any good news here, it is your prospective major. This has been discussed many times in many other strings, but strong (and well-recognized) engineering majors are more widely offered at more schools, in my opinion, than many other majors. You don't really need to go for high cost and prestige. Thus in your last post, you mention going to a local private school. You also ought to expand your view to public schools. You're from Ohio? Why not look at Ohio State? I guarantee you that is a valuable engineering degree. For many disciplines, U of Cincinnati is also very good, etc. (PS, I have worked with graduates of both schools. Many are outstanding professionals). With a few exceptions, the key to engineering is not so much where you get in but completing the program successfully, regardless of where you go. And your idea about going for a "prestigious" MBA is also a good one if that's what you want, after that your undergrad school in my view will be even less imporant. Note, however, that many engineers who want to keep their current jobs or location while pursuing MBAs often also opt for whatever local programs are available! The worst-case option (from your viewpoint) is difficult to comment on without knowing about the particular CC. Many people in my region, for example, attended what is actually a very good CC for their first two years of engineering, transferred to a number of prestigious 4-year schools and then graduate programs, and are now very good engineers. But the quality and the results at these schools can definitely vary. Good luck!</p>

<p>JB, by the way, on the subject of AP classes particularly, I'm a little conflicted myself. I have two kids of my own, both of whom took/are taking a number of AP classes. In themselves I think they're great for someone in high school; but ironically, I would rather they didn't take advantage of the credit they get for them once in college, particularly in math and science. My older son got a 5 in Calculus and a 4 in Biology, but I don't think his knowledge in either area is up to what it would be had he taken these as a freshman in college. Fortunately he is not in the sciences and uses these to fulfill elective requirements, but if he needed calculus say in his major, I would have preferred that he take calculus again in college.</p>

<p>ummm...one question is that they don't want you to live in the city or is it that they want you specifically go to a CC.</p>

<p>I live in Atlanta and the actual city has about six colleges(including) Emory. I suggest talking to her about moving away(sounds like she is kind of attached to, you my mom and I are close, but she'll be glad when i leave). </p>

<p>This might be negative or positive:
Visit Atlanta with her ONLY if you no she'll like it or just be slightly content</p>

<p>I think it's mostly just that my parents want me to make the most of my limited money for education. The family income is ~$60K/year, and I don't think that translates into much financial aid. I think they would be happy if I went away to college after I did my two years of drudgery at the CC, but then I feel that I would miss out on the college experience, not to mention that even though my credits might transfer nicely, I could be unprepared for undergrad coursework at a top university.</p>

<p>Thanks for everyone's advice :)</p>

<p>If your parents make 60 k a year you will certainly be eligible for a good amount of merit aid. I know how you feel about just wanting to get the h.ell out the middle of nowhere, I feel exactly the same way. What I would do is look at lower first/second tier private schools away from Ohio because they will be very generous with financial aid to a student who has done so well.</p>

<p>It sure would seem like a waste of time if you worked so hard in high school and then you had to go to some random a.ss community college.</p>

<p>^Wow, you share my sentiments exactly. Do you mean merit aid or need-based aid? I don't have enough stats available yet to know if I qualify for merit aid.</p>

<p>Go for the full ride somewhere. In your situation this is better than going to CC. You will make closer friends in the dorms than at a commuter school. Why don't you apply to Case Western, and see what happens? You might also try Marquette.</p>

<p>Your most persuasive approach is going to be the money and organization you contribute toward your education. That means you need to work, two jobs if necessary, for the summer and save as much as you can. When you need a lot of financial aid, you have to cast a wide net to get the best award possible.</p>

<p>I assume you are a rising senior, is that right? Have you taken any standardized tests? If not, get acquainted with the schedules and sign up for the first ACT in the fall.</p>

<p>Have a talk with your parents and find out how much they are willing to contribute to your college fund. Every rising senior should do this early in the process so he or she knows what the family finances are. If you sense that they are going to control your choice of schools by withholding money, let them know that your goal is a four year engineering degree. It's very hard to finish in engineering after a community college start. Go over the course requirements at one of your schools - not many of them match up with CC courses. You could wind up losing a lot of transfer credits and spending a fifth year to get that degree.</p>

<p>Investigate the schools that appeal to you, and make a list of their pros and cons. You are going to have to look hard for financial aid information, and make that a major part of your investigation. NYU, for example, is known for "gapping" their financial aid awards. </p>

<p>Check this board for a list of schools with good financial aid packages. Of course, with engineering in mind, your choices will be much more limited. That is why your state school stands out as a great value. It will also have the widest range of classes in case you find that your high school preparation was inadequate in some areas.</p>

<p>JB: from all the messages in this string, I believe your best overall strategy (not including convincing your parents) would be:</p>

<p>1) Pick some schools which are close to what you really want (your ideal), but again, try to identify (I don't know how precisely, this is the hard part) the schools that are most generous with financial aid. Apply to as many of those as you can afford to, maybe lightning will strike and you'll get a good package.
2) Apply to at least one of your state schools, pick the one you like best, making sure it offers the kinds of majors you are interested in. I think OSU, including everything but travel and even without finaincial aid, would be about
$20K a year for a full-time resident. Consider this choice as a "financial safety" if you must.
3) If you do happen to know some "local" universities that fit your needs in terms of a major, that aren't too objectionable, and that might give you more aid than a big name, go for one or two of those also. Consider these "alternative financial safeties" if you must, but remember that as compared to these, your State U may in fact be more highly regarded!
4) Try to make an honest assessment of how much you personally will be able to contribute financially to make up any gaps, including savings, working at school (not one I recommend you do TOO MUCH of), taking on debt of your own.
5) As others have suggested, enagage you parents in a discussion of how much (if anything) they would be willing to take on and let them know the financial commitments you would be willing to make.
6) At least get your parents to fill in the FAFSA and whatever other Financial Aid statements need to be made for the colleges you choose. Get busy yourself and make sure to apply for whatever external or school-related awards may be available
7) When the admissions and financial aid letters arrive, you will have done all your homework and you can pick among the alternatives that fall within the total of what everyone was willing to commit to. everything above that number will not be an option, make tht clear to your parents up-front also.
If nothing works, you might have to go to CC after all, but at least you'll have done all you could to avoid it.</p>

<p>I think I might try for a full ride to a private, and that way I won't be living at home. A prestigious MBA looks better than a prestigious bachelor's degree anyway.</p>

<p>I might also try Ohio State because I've participated in a few state competitions and I might be able to get some extra money that way, not to mention their honors college is supposed to be good.</p>