<p>Seemed to take over an hour same problems as before. Plus its too long. Got to work on getting to around 500 words--we have to make them 300-600 words. Ill figure that out when i start to time myself.</p>
<p>Heros</p>
<p>Heros are those that speak up against what is morally wrong inspte of the consequences to themselves. Many people think heros are defined by the acts they perform. Soldiers often come to mind due to their heroic acts. However, heros of the past spoke up against what they felt was morally wrong. Ghandi thought racial discrimination was wrong so he raised awareness writing about the injustices of Indians in South Africa. Lincoln believed slavery was wrong so he Emancipated slavery in America. And Martin Luther King junior thought African Americans lacked civil rights so he challenged the laws segregating black African Americans. </p>
<p>Ghandi thought Indians were discriminated against so he lobbied for its abolishment in South Africa. The turning point for Ghandi was when he was travelling in South Africa. He bought a first class ticket. On the way to Natal he was thrown off the train for being in the first class section. Then, on the way back, he was beaten by the train operator for refusing to give his seat to a caucasian. He talked to other Indians and the storys of discrimination were common. He started the Natal Indian Party to fight stop it. He used non-violent strikes, sit-ins, and protests. Often, he faced violence, abuse, and was jailed. However, his non-violent methods raised awareness of the brutal conditions in South Africa. After 21 years the black Law discriminating against Indians was abolished.</p>
<p>Abrahm Lincoln, didnt use non-violence, his attempt to abolish slavery led to a protacted five year Civil War in America.As a child Lincoln was poor. He saw many incidents of very poor treatment of black slaves. This soldified his belief that it slavery was morally wrong. As a result, he joined the Repulican party to fight against slavery. After winning presidency he faced a dilmna. He knew the country would divide if he attempted to free the slaves of the south. Despite the consequences he acted on his moral belief that it was wrong. This started a 5 years civil war to fight to free slaves. 630,000 soldiers died.But he was able to accomplish his goal of ending slavery. In 1865 slavery was abolished with the singing of the Emancipation Proclimation. Later, the constituion was amending to include the 13 amending abolishing slavery in America. </p>
<p>Finally, Martin Luher King Junior challenged the laws segragating black americans. King was a minster. He felt the laws segrating blacks were unjust. He also felt that african amercians were exiles in there own country. Since they didnt have no rights. He used non-violent protests to raise awareness. In 1963 he led the Montgomery bus strike. African americans boycotted the law segration blacks on buses. Due to his actions he faced many hostilities. His house was set on fire and he was thrown in jail. This didnt change his belief though. It strengthened his resolve. This was shown when he led the March to Washingston. King marched to washingston to deliver a speech. During the I Have a Dream speech he spoke of his dream of blacks and white living in harmony. As a result of his actions he was able to gain Civil Rights for black Americans.</p>
<p>Hereos speak up against what they believe is wrong in-spite of the consequences. For twenty one years Ghandi fought for Indian rights in South Africa despite being beaten and jailed. Abraham Lincoln believed slavery was wrong. This touched off a five year civil war. And Martin Luther King faced imminent danger when he protested the laws discriminating against black Americans.</p>
<p>Hero’s</p>
<p>Hero’s are those that speak up against what is morally wrong despite the consequences to themselves. Many people think hero’s are defined by the acts they perform. Soldiers often come to mind due to their heroic acts. However, hero’s of the past spoke up against what they felt was morally wrong. Ghandi thought racial discrimination was wrong so he raised awareness about injustices of Indians in South Africa. Lincoln believed slavery was wrong so he Emancipated slavery in America. And Martin Luther King junior challenged the laws segregating black African Americans.</p>
<p>Ghandi thought Indians were discriminated against so he lobbied for its abolishment in South Africa. The turning point for Ghandi was when he traveled to South Africa. He bought a first class ticket. On the way to Natal he was thrown off the train for being in the first class section. On the way back he faced the same treatment. He was beaten by the train operator for refusing to give his seat to a Caucasian. He talked to other Indians and found it was common. He started the Natal Indian Party to fight stop it. He used non-violent strikes, sit-ins, and protests. Often, he faced violence, abuse, and was jailed. However, his non-violent methods raised awareness of the brutal conditions in South Africa. After 21 years the black Law discriminating against Indians was abolished.</p>
<p>Abrahm Lincoln, didn’t use non-violence, his attempt to abolish slavery led to a protacted five year Civil War in America.As a child Lincoln was poor. He saw many incidents of very poor treatment of black slaves. This solidified his belief that slavery was morally wrong. As a result, he joined the Republican party to fight against slavery. After winning presidency he faced a dilemna. He knew the country would divide if he attempted to free the slaves of the south. Despite the consequences he acted on his moral belief that it was wrong. This started a five year civil war to free the slaves. 630,000 soldiers died but he was able to accomplish his goal. In 1865 slavery was abolished with the singing of the Emancipation Proclamation. Later, the Constituion was amending to include the 13th Amendment abolishing slavery in America.</p>
<p>Finally, Martin Luher King Junior challenged the laws segregating black Americans. He felt the laws segregating blacks were unjust. He used non-violent protests to raise awareness. In 1963 he led the Montgomery bus strike. African Americans boycotted the bus companies. Due to his actions he faced many hostilities. His house was set on fire and he was thrown in jail. This didn’t change his belief though. It strengthened his resolve. This was shown when he led the “March to Washington. " King marched to Washingston to deliver a speech. During the “I Have a Dream” speech he spoke of his dream of blacks and white living in harmony. As a result of his actions he was able to gain Civil Rights for black Americans.</p>
<p>Heros speak up against what they believe is wrong in-spite of the consequences. For twenty one years Ghandi fought for Indian rights in South Africa despite being beaten and jailed. Abraham Lincoln believed slavery was wrong so he started a bloody Civil War to fight for its abolishment. And Martin Luther King faced imminent danger when he protested the laws discriminating against black Americans.</p>
<p>your conclusion is not very conclusive. work on that.</p>
<p>based on what i see, i think this essay deserves an 8 or 9.</p>
<p>pretty well thought out thesis statement, but developed only adequately in the body paragraphs.</p>
<p>plus, it's </p>
<p>"heroes"
not
"hero's"</p>
<p>ok conclusion isnt good --got work to do still. </p>
<p>we only get marked out of 6....all i need is 5 so it doesn't have to be perfect.</p>
<p>My essays now are better than the 6 essay's i have seen :)</p>
<p>Lucky this is technical school rather than university--</p>
<p>we get 1 hour to do persausive essay several choices. 300-600 words. Im aiming for 500-</p>
<p>20 sentence improvement questions--no time limit</p>
<p>20 sentence comprehension--small passages around 5 -6 sentences...and the second part of this is 10 2 sentences match up the ideas....whats main idea, infered etc.</p>
<p>our test is way easier than the SAT...</p>
<p>what more for the bodies ? Topic sentences clearer or more detail ?</p>