Pls give me feedback on my essay

<p>Prompt: Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?</p>

<p>Heroes are people who stand up against all odds for what they believe is right. Although heroes are typically thought of as characters such as Hercules and Superman who save the world, this is not always the case. Through examples in history, one can see the truth behind this assertion. </p>

<p>MLK was a Civil Rights Movement activist who used peaceful protests and speeches to fight for rights for African Americans. During the time, African Americans were very oppressed by whites, in fear of the Jim Crow laws that supported lynching for slaves who broke the laws. MLK held numerous boycotts, risking his life to fight segregation. Many times MLK was attacked by police with fire hoses and pepper spray. He was also arrested about 30 times, but this was not enough to stop him. He had chosen to commit his life to fighting racism, no matter what the cost. MLK eventually lost his life for this cause, but he achieved racial equality. Thus, MLK's actions demonstrate that people who sacrifice themselves for a cause are heroes. </p>

<p>On the other end of the spectrum, there are people who use must use violence to fight for what they believe is right: rebels. Simon Bolivar was a Venezuelan military and political leader. During the time, Latin America was ruled by the Spanish Empire, and Bolivar played a key role in Latin America's successful struggle for independence. During his lifetime, he led Venezuela, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, and Bolivia to independence, and helped lay the foundations for democratic ideology in much of Latin America. Bolivar is regarded in Hispanic America as a hero. visionary, revolutionary, and liberator. </p>

<p>Gandhi was the preeminent leader of Indian nationalism in the British-ruled India. Using non-violent civil disobedience, Gandhi led India to independence and inspired movements for non-violence, civil rights, and freedom across the world. For example, during the Salt March, he led Indians in protesting the national salt tax for 250 miles. He was imprisioned for that and numerous other peaceful demonstrations throught his lifetime, but this never stopped him. Gandhi, too, was assasinated fighting for freedom. Thus, Gandhi's actions demonstrate how he could be considered a hero for all he sacrificed for his country. </p>

<p>After careful analysis of MLK, Bolivar and Gandhi, one can see that, indeed, those who sacrifice themselves for a cuase and inspire change should be considered heroes. </p>

<p>Thank you for the feedback.</p>

<p>Besides that fact that Dr. King and Gandhi are trite, elementary examples, I think you are straying a bit from the prompt:</p>

<p>Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?</p>

<p>Your essay makes use of the term “sacrifice for cause” extensively, and this is not good unless you can relate it back to the prompt. Maybe in the King paragraph, you could talk about how everybody else was a bystander and fell into mob mentality, but Dr. King remained resolute and had the courage that others lacked.</p>

<p>Additionally, there is a lot of factual evidence that could be trimmed down. I understand that you need to fill both pages; however, you should fill them with meaningful information, not just “padding.” Add more insight and - I can’t stress this enough - make sure that the reader understands your argument. The prompt is paramount; an essay without the correct focus will get not a 2 or a 1, but a 0, and that would suck. :(</p>

<p>I hope this helps.</p>