Hey!! Can someone please review my college essay?

I don’t really know if it’s good. I rewrote the topic multiple times, and just decided to find away to combine them. Could you also help with my conclusion? Thank you !!!

I’d love to help!

@OnMyWay2013 I’ll PM you ! (:

If you still need help I could give feedback.

is anyone still able to help edit my essay ?

Please, it’s my final draft. I just need help to see if the flow and grammar are okay.

I can read it. Parent here.

bump