<p>I'm a typical Asian-American sophomore. I exhibit most of the negative traits of the stereotype. I'm not socially adventurous, not popular, shy, quiet, and prone to awkwardness. I rarely participate in discussions, I read in the library at lunch break, and I only have a handful of close friends. I'm far too much of a background person.</p>
<p>As I enter into the second half of my high school years, I want to change and avoid being the one of thousands of identical Asian applicants. I want to be atypical! I don't think I'm hopeless quite yet. I'm trying to build my self-confidence and identity. </p>
<p>It is my ultimate goal for these next two years to grow into the person I will be for the rest of my life. If anyone has had similar experiences or is willing to offer advice, I'll greatly appreciate it.</p>
<p>I'm not looking to become someone else. I simply want to come out of my shell and be someone that people want in their schools.</p>
<p>Disclaimer:
I'm not a troll (I just thought I'd say that even though I'm sure none of you would even think that this could be a troll thread, considering how true Asian stereotypes really are) and this is not a pity thread. </p>
<p>I simply want advice so that I can return to school next year feeling like a whole new person. I know personal development can only be done personally, but I've always found that seeking advice is a good place to start.</p>
<p>BTW I don't know if this thread belongs in the High School Life forum or the College Admissions forum. It seems borderline to me; Mods please move it if I placed it wrong, thanks.</p>
<p>Well it sounds like you have motivation, so it’s all good. I could tell you how I make friends, but you wouldn’t be interested in it if you’re looking for long term relationships lol</p>
<p>I’m asian too, I know how people might feel about the “typical asian.”
One thing my twin brother truly believes is that appearance makes a big deal. After all, first impressions are based on your outside, not inside.
The summer is a great time to focus on how you want to change yourself, and it doesn’t have to be dramatic.
Before high school, I have to say I was pretty shy outside my group of surprisingly sociable friends. But after joining theatre (which in itself is an outgoing group of people) and attaining a leadership position, I’m wayy different from the little 8th grader I used to be.
If you can find opportunities such as leadership positions in clubs or branching out in community service; places where you are forced to be social, I truly think you’ll be able to branch out and start off your junior year on the right foot. Both my brother and I have leadership positions (he’s class VP and so on) that really helped us cultivate and maintain a very social lifestyle.
I hope I helped!
Also, you can still have ‘asian’ activities and be social. My brother is violin concertmaster, plays varsity tennis, is on varsity math team, good at math/science and is still popular.
The both of us were the only chinese kids (out of 6) who actually got (attractive) dates for prom hahaha!
Good luck!</p>
<p>Work on your appearance a bit; nothing is worse than LOOKING like a nerdy asian. Clothes, maybe a nice haircut, etc. Then, display plenty of confidence</p>
<p>What if I want to be shy/taciturn (not Asian btw)? A lot of times I just like to be by myself. Some people feel the incessant need to always be talking to someone and they think that if you don’t share this need too, that you’re weird or something. I’m a quiet person, and I’m not going to change my whole personality just for some college app.</p>
<p>motif I have a similar situation(?) and I’ll PM you about my wonderful experiences “starting fresh” :)</p>
<p>but as for this board, yakyu spirits I think the OP is referring to the fact that they actually want to be active and known, not to be frivolous and uptight about popularity, but just to be memorable and enjoy high school, because sometimes being shy leads you to avoid social experiences that are actually positive for you (don’t get the wrong idea.)</p>
<p>If you need a confidence boost, hang out with younger kids (like one or two years younger… not like 5 year olds)
That way nobody knows anything about you and it’s less intimidating :p</p>
<p>Off topic, but why are Asians abroad so much more “Asian” than Asians in Asia? I mean, I’m Asian (Indian) and almost all of the people I know IN Asia are outgoing, loud, and not particularly outstanding in math/science.</p>
<p>Motif, what kind of social activities do you want to participate in? What kind of friends do you want? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a close handful of friends as long as YOU are having fun with them.</p>
<p>To Addiction, believe me, some of my fellow asians REALLY REALLY fit the bill of the “asian stereotype.”</p>
<p>To QuasiProfound, “Off topic, but why are Asians abroad so much more “Asian” than Asians in Asia? I mean, I’m Asian (Indian) and almost all of the people I know IN Asia are outgoing, loud, and not particularly outstanding in math/science.”
Okay, here’s the deal according to my experiences. My parents worked SO hard to get to America by excelling in math/science. Doing well in school to ensure a bright and “stable” future in something concrete and non-subjective such as math and science is their way to make sure I’m rich and can afford things I want in the future. I owe them to do well in school to thank them for raising me up in America, and if I am successful in the future, I can take care of them when they get older. They make us start our studies early and such. Math and science is something sure that we can excel in. Humanities and athletics are not necessarily “safe,” something we can leave to others to excel in. Additionally, there are the pressures of being “different” from white people, and I think some asians will retreat and become introvertive rather than be the outgoing people they have the potential to be. There are so many pressures on ABC (American Born Chinese…or other asians) that I think a lot of kids buckle and find it easier to stay quiet.
Back home, it’s still important to study, but since there are so many kids, it does not mean everyone can or will excel. There is a larger pool of kids with larger talents and such. Maybe there is less pressure. I don’t know. I’m focusing on China, not India. My cousins back home are only going to third tier colleges for non-math/science because they were horrible at it, and although their parents are pretty upset, they are accepting and still loving. Lol.</p>
<p>are you kidding me?
you don’t have to reinvent yourself to stand out. Just relax and have some fun in the next few years of high school. It’s not like harvard and MIT only take outgoing kids. Plus… compromising yourself just to be “atypical” is silly.</p>
<p>No, UZzhan, Harvard is in general looking for those amiable, active leaders.
MIT will not necessarily look for the outgoing, but they do demand for interviews.</p>
<p>We aren’t saying he needs to reinvent himself to be someone he isn’t.
He should just enhance everything.
It’s like makeup hahaha; you don’t need to get plastic surgery, you just need to know what to define and accentuate while embracing who you are with pride.</p>
<p>If you’re a nerd, chances are you’re not going to change dramatically in 2 years. Especially with established perceptions from your social peers.</p>
<p>Just accept who you are and live with it. If you really want to change, you are going to need to alter not just what you do, but also how you think. It’s just a mindset that makes you feel trapped, not who you are. You don’t have to be the stereotypical asian.</p>
<p>I’m lucky to have parents that care more about me than where I go to school, so they let me be who I wanted to be. I don’t have any science or math awards (I actually hate math), I don’t plan on becoming an engineer, I dress quite well, I work out a lot (and am more muscular than an average asian for that reason), and I don’t want to go to Harvard or MIT. </p>
<p>That’s another thing: parents and expectations. Your parents have probably placed a lot of expectations for you (typical), so you think that you have to get into the Ivy League or someting. Quite honestly, you don’t. If you are so worried about getting rejected from Harvard because there are 100 other people with your exact same stats, it’s not necessary to force yourself into that trap. </p>
<p>Basically, learn what you love to do, and love doing it, 100%.</p>
I dunno about OP, I’m always interested in having a few more social techniques up my sleeve</p>