I’m so glad you asked this question. I literally just hung up from D20, a junior in college. We toured a lot of universities ranging in rank/selectivity, but she was looking for something specific: a midsized school of at least 5K students, preferred CA location, solid academics but with enough time and capacity leftover for EC/social activities.
She ultimately applied to targets and likelies with only one reach (USC, she didn’t get in). I wondered if she was selling herself short by limiting her options geographically or if she was “under matching”. Luckily, she was confident in her process and decided that while she might be able to get into more selective or highly-ranked schools, that wasn’t her priority.
Fast forward a few years and she is thriving beyond anything I could have imagined. She has top grades, chose to double-major, had two summer internships in her field (one of which continued through the Fall quarter), an on-campus job at the university Career Center, joined a sorority and has a leadership position on the Board, and is Vice President of a digital magazine on campus for which she will be the President next year as a senior. She has friends, an active social life and great relationships with her professors and advisors who have been extremely supportive of her.
This experience has demonstrated that it is truly all about “fit”. She tells anyone who asks how happy she is, how much she enjoys her college experience and how much she has grown in terms of confidence, maturity and self-sufficiency. She was always a good student, but I think her college success has been an upward spiral and she feels like she is seen and appreciated for her work by professors, peers and advisors.
TLDR; being a big fish in a small(er) pond can be a great thing. D tells me frequently how grateful she is that she selected her college and that she can’t imagine having as good (or a better) experience anywhere else. If a school is your DC’s top choice, it’s #1 in the only ranking that counts.
As I mentioned before, my kids are both at big public schools — one top 25, one maybe ranked in the top 60.
I think SEC Greek life is it’s own entity. If she is looking elsewhere, it’s not nearly as consuming or the same kind of pressure that southern sororities appear to have.
My daughter at Michigan is in a sorority. It was almost necessary for her to meet people being OOS, knowing no one, and starting in 2020. Neither of us is gung-ho for Greek life, but in her sorority, the girls are very high achieving academically, carry rigorous loads, and expect that school comes before anything. I am sure there is more pressure than not being in a sorority, but there are also high expectations for the membership to contribute to the campus community as individuals.
I doubt my younger daughter will rush, but there seems to be a similar balance at her northern school.
I am not an advocate for Greek life and see its many systemic flaws, but it does seem possible for a lot of young women to achieve balance.
My take…smart and talented people do well because they’re smart and talented. It really has nothing to do with the school. If the school is the right fit, that’s golden! He’ll do just as well.
I’ll echo what a lot of people are saying. This sounds like an ideal situation. She knows what she wants and it is readily achievable (and affordable). You can get a great education at so many institutions and most have really high caliber students. So if your daughter knows what she wants and gets it, that sounds like a great formula for success.
It might be worth checking in to make sure she’s not burned out or have any sort of depression (no reason to panic over that, it’s most likely exactly what it seems, she found a school that fits her).
We don’t have the exact same situation, our S23 has very little preference in where he wants to go. Just wants to get into an engineering program and in budget. On the one hand, it means he has little stress about the application process, on the other it means he hasn’t given a ton of thought about what he wants in a college, so he’ll need to do figure that out after he finds out where he was accepted. But he only applied to schools that we could afford and had accredited engineering programs, many would be considered safeties.
I think it’s hard for type a parents like I think many of us on this board are, to not get caught up in the prestige game. This is just another in what will be a continuing stream of “it’s not about us, it’s about them” moments.
My son was a high performing student from hs. He only applied to safety schools (one more a reach due to cost). He got into every school he applied to and into the honors college of every school and got good merit at all the schools.
His major (animal science (pre-vet track)) was not one that required a big name. His choices were all very strong in his major and all but one had vet schools attached to them. His courses were all with pre-meds and he felt challenged without being overly stressed. He had time to do ECs like being the president of his fraternity. He finished undergrad in 3 years, went on to vet school there and is now almost half-way through his 3rd year. He has loved the school, the professors, the job and research opportunities, the students. He is in vet school with kids from those low acceptance rate schools and he is at the top of his class (still a 4.0 all 6 years so far).
So your answer is yes, Honors college or competitive majors in high acceptance rate colleges can provide excellent academic opportunities, happy students, and less stressed students if going on to graduate school. We never questioned his decision to attend a school that was a great fit for him. (He also met his fiancee - who was valedictorian of her hs - there and we are thrilled for both of them).
I don’t agree. Most sororities have higher GPAs than the school as a whole. Some have mandatory study tables for pledges (and those not cutting it) and some offer very good tutoring.
Even at the really big SEC schools, all the officers and leaders are top students. They are sent to leadership conferences and often work with university officials on projects.
How can you disagree when you don’t know which sorority at which college the niece is referring to?
Even at the colleges that encourage the study tables, the tutors, and academic achievement, there are sororities filled with aspiring Travel and Tourism majors who spend more time on their hair than in the library. That’s not knocking the entire Greek system, but it does reflect reality on some campuses.
It completely depends on the sorority or fraternity, the college, the year, the adult leadership. My son’s fraternity was not known nationwide for high GPAs but from when he took over the fraternity as a whole (large fraternity with 70 living in the house) went to a 3.5+ GPA. There were many engineers, pre-meds, pre-vets, etc. in the house. My son had to go go conferences, work with the dean, work with the alumni advisor (the CEO of a major corporation), etc. Were there a few who just didn’t care, sure. Did he have his tribe - yes. His chapter even got best chapter nationwide. His fiancee was in the same type situation at her sorority.
There were some fraternities and sororities neither would have even though of joining because of their academic goals. My son even said there were some chapters of his own fraternity he would never join (a few of those were SEC chapters).
But this is like saying - the SEC has the hottest girls or the best looking all go to Ole Miss.
I travel the South (mainly Florida) and I hear that all the time.
I think that’s unfair to say about any human being - and to some people, their goal is to work in travel and tourism and for them how is that lesser than any other major?
btw - I looked at that major for my daughter - and it’s all business school classes - accounting, finance, etc. - not so easy.
Just think it’s wrong to make a blanket assumption like that about people in a certain area.
I’m sure all schools have beautiful people - and in general, all people are beautiful just as they are!!
I was just saying that generalizations are unfair. That’s all. We’ve all used them, heard them but I was sticking up for the tourism majors
I hear them all the time when I work. We love when ole miss or fsu come. Or when we go there. It’s all the hot girls etc. hotty toddy!! Yes their ‘slogan’ doesn’t help the cause !!
I’m sure every school has people of all shapes and sizes and different aptitudes and interests and all that should be good enough !!
I think what I’m empathizing with the most is your concern that your kid did all of this work in high school to choose this school? I am currently living this with my oldest, who scored a perfect ACT after studying their butt off. Also taking a super rigorous schedule, getting good grades and giving up other social opportunities, etc. So, I certainly struggled with their final decision. But, as others have said, and what I’ve come to realize after this past year, is that they did what they had to do to make gaining acceptance to their favorite school a high probability. And, really, isn’t that what we want? So really, job well done!!!
S22 currently attends what was his “safety” school (our state flagship). He had several other good choices (a few more highly ranked) but didn’t like them any more than the flagship (UMass Amherst) so, to him, they weren’t worth the extra $$ (he had an unlimited budget and wouldn’t have had to borrow in any scenario but was told if he picked the $300k+ school that he’d be on his own for graduate school). His observation thus far - there are lots and lots of extremely bright kids at UMass but there are also some kids that are there to “credential” and don’t take class/school seriously. I think that is pretty par for the course at most state flagships. He seems happy and has met like minded friends so it is all good. It’s not where I thought he’d end up, but he seems happy so I’m delighted. I think his decision was practical given that he started thinking of grad school later in his senior year (which wasn’t a thought at the beginning of the college process). Good luck to your kiddo - these things have a way of working out.
It really depends on what the kid wants to major in. There are some professions where the safety works fine (e.g. medicine) and other professions where the better regarded school will give more opportunities.
you are not alone! every year our small population state’s biggest newspaper publishes an Academic-All-State list of top kids and their stats and plans. Its interesting; i’d say about half stay in state. At my kids’ schools, two years in a row the #1, NMF, 36 ACT kids went to midwest state schools. I’d guess for two reasons: the opportunities and the cost. There are some really strong opps at these schools for sure.
