<p>I hear you Mezzo and agree. This process has been very helpful for me and the responses I have received have grounded my thoughts in reality. I sent mom and niece and email basically telling them what they needed to do. I also sent them and subscribed them to the fastweb.com scholarship website. </p>
<p>I have a hard time standing by and doing nothing - when I know she will likely fail. At this point, however, I have pointed her in the right direction and there are practical steps that she needs to take. It really is up to her. When I first posted this thread, I wondered if things were different in the drama world and if pure talent could be enough (even though the talent is subjective). I am still hopeful that niece will pull it all together now that she does have some help. The family is embarassed to admit their problems and allow niece to claim any kind of financial hardship. Thank you for all of your help and practical advice. Sometimes even someone who is trying to be helpful needs to know when to let someone help themselves.</p>
<p>Until recently, I had assumed that theater, drama, etc. were easy majors and doing well in them was basically based on talent. Since I became involved in community theater and S became a theater major, I’ve learned how hard it is to be a theater major.</p>
<p>For instance, a required course for theater majors at S’s LAC (which is a second tier one) is script analysis – in which students have to write an 80-100 page paper analyzing a script.</p>
<p>Theater majors also have to do dozens of hours of tech and other volunteer work in the theater each semester.</p>
<p>One of my acting teachers – who has had a major role in a sitcom, and has been on shows like “Seinfeld” says that he was not the most talented person in his major in college, but it was hard work --lots of discipline and hard work – that enabled him to be much more successful than are many classmates who were much more talented.</p>
<p>“Sometimes even someone who is trying to be helpful needs to know when to let someone help themselves.”</p>
<p>I have a lot of empathy for you. I have found it very hard to learn that it’s impossible to help someone who isn’t helping themselves. I still keep trying to help people who don’t want my help.</p>
<p>I have to keep reminding myself that I’m far more likely to be able to help if the other person requests one’s help than if I offer help without being asked. Hard as the person’s situation may seem to be to me, they may be more comfortable continuing in that situation than taking the actions to live a better life even if I’m willing to help them, and know how to help them.</p>
<p>God bless you for all you’re doing! Please don’t get discouraged as you seem like the best hope this kid has right now and I’m sure the emotional support is priceless to her. This kid sounds like she has alot on her plate and it’s certainly not unusual for kids with “regular” home lives to be overwhelmed and a bit lost at the thought of the college search and admissions process. </p>
<p>There are a couple of options that I don’t think have come up yet (didn’t read every word here though). First, check out whether she might be qualified under some school lunch or public assistance program for a 0 EFC (the parents do not actually have to have filed a tax form at all, which sounds like this family), or might be considered an independent student for FAFSA due to her prior history. The qualifications are listed here:
<a href=“http://ifap.ed.gov/efcformulaguide/attachments/111408EFCFormulaGuide0910.pdf[/url]”>http://ifap.ed.gov/efcformulaguide/attachments/111408EFCFormulaGuide0910.pdf</a></p>
<p>If so, she could be Pell eligible and receive up to $5,350 and a $5,500 Stafford loan for her first year. It’s likely she might also receive institutional aid, FSEOG and work-study. She would also transfer her FAFSA info to the NY HESC for a TAP award up to $5,000/year. Also, due to her high scores but possible low grades, she could apply under EOP/HEOP, which would be a huge help with any remedial work/support she needs, although there is some income info required. There’s more info here:
[SUNY:</a> Educational Opportunity Program (EOP)](<a href=“http://www.suny.edu/student/academic_eop.cfm]SUNY:”>http://www.suny.edu/student/academic_eop.cfm)
[Introduction</a> to HEOP](<a href=“http://www.highered.nysed.gov/kiap/COLLEGIATE/HEOP/introduction_to_heop.htm]Introduction”>http://www.highered.nysed.gov/kiap/COLLEGIATE/HEOP/introduction_to_heop.htm)
[Grants</a>, Scholarships, and Awards Quick Reference](<a href=“http://www.hesc.com/content.nsf/SFC/2/Grants_Scholarships_and_Awards_Quick_Reference]Grants”>http://www.hesc.com/content.nsf/SFC/2/Grants_Scholarships_and_Awards_Quick_Reference)</p>
<p>Several SUNYs, including UB, also have full tuition scholarships for certain individuals which may apply and I believe Buffalo does have some performance arts programs. In general though, SUNYs tend to be very good at helping kids find a way to make it work out financially so would be a good place to start looking. Good luck!</p>
<p>Maybe I am missing a post, I just skimmed through this, however if your niece is having to buy her own food, living in squalor, and is constantly under the threat of eviction why don’t you contact Child Protective Services? I think that would be more important than getting her into college. She could be removed from the home and placed with a family member or in a foster home. She could then declare herself an independant adult when she applies to colleges. Why would she stay at home while in college in such an awful environment? I feel that we are missing pieces of the story here…</p>
<p>Also, she may be a good actress and passionate about it, but do you really think you are doing her a service by encouraging her to study acting? To what end? So she can act when she graduates? In plays, TV, movies?? If she is that talented she does not need a college degree.</p>
<p>My sister is a successful professional actress with a Masters in Theatre from Harvard, and I just can tell you that even with a degree in acting your niece would have many hard, hungry years ahead of her.</p>
<p>She does pay for her own food, but she does eat. Her parents have jobs that are contingent, so they often do not have money. She lives in squalor because they are unable to pay to have anything fixed, but she does have a roof over her head and has clothes to wear. Other than having parents who are financial disasters, she is taken care of and has both parents and siblings living at home. They are constantly struggling to make ends meet and barely able to keep their heads above water, but she is not abused in any way. Her parents love her and wish things were different, and they care about her in their own dysfunctional way and do what they can to help her move forward. I’ve worked in schools and have seen kids who should be removed from their homes, she is definitely not one of them. Her parents often seem to struggle with mental issues, but none that prevent them from worrying about their children’s well-being. They are safe, but poor. In this economy, sadly, I think they are not alone.</p>
<p>I agree regarding the idea to pursue acting as a career - but at this point, acting motivates her and involves her. She’s also interested in psychology. She realizes and I realize that she needs to leave several avenues open. I’ve learned a lot on this thread and encourage her to seek a practical goal while keeping her creative side open. Since she displayed early talent in acting, I had hoped that she could use that talent to gain a merit scholarship. I think I was naive in that regard. </p>
<p>She did take the SATs and she believes that she did well. We’ll see what options open up once those scores are received and once her school year finishes.</p>