<p>Hi, I'm a male senior and heading off to college soon in Philadelphia. I'm know I will study well in my pharmaceutical major, but I can't help but feel nervous about the social interactions in college. My high school is extremely open and very welcoming, regardless, I've always been a very shy and nervous person.
I know that there are parties in college, and that I will attempt to control myself well, but there is always the off chance that something concerning drinking or physical intimacy may happen. Is it okay to be experimental and open with sexuality and drinking? I have morals, but am not sure if it is okay to shrug them off. I would feel somewhat dirty, and am not sure how others in the future may judge me.
Some things such as sexuality is very open in America, but I tend to be more reserved, hence my status as a virgin. I would like anytime I may be involved with physical intimacy to be in a special and memorable relationship, but I feel that a future girlfriend may not respect me as much if I am a virgin. I also feel somewhat of a prude. Should I take the first year to get a feel of the social life at parties and at the clubs and dorms before I make a decision such as this? And are there girls (women if you prefer), who prefer less casual relationships and ones which are more long term? I think I prefer more meaningful relationships as opposed to one night stands, but I don't know anymore, because everyone seems to be doing it casually.
Also I have two left feet, is it easy to learn how to dance?</p>
<p>Pretty much anyone can learn to dance, I was awful my freshman year of HS and now I’m pretty **** good LOL.
There will be plenty of girls who want to wait for a more serious/memorable relationship before sex. However, what you’ll probably find is that you’ll find a middle ground - you’ll still maintain your morals and what you believe in, but your views on sex may change (not that you’ll be a man-slut, but there is a huge middle ground between that and being completely reserved) a little bit when you’re own your own and figuring out where you stand without your parents.</p>
<p>Don’t be nervous about college! You’lll love it! I’m a HS senior too and have been counting down days till UF since September LOL.</p>
<p>There is no time for partying or goofing (getting?) off at school. You will have to sit in class or the library or your room all day and study for many years. </p>
<p>Goofing (Getting?) off is for lazy American bourgeoisie who will suffer the full wrath of capitalism’s demise.</p>
<p>Have a nice day! :)</p>
<p>^^ Getting off means something different than goofing off… lol</p>
<p>Don’t sweat going to college. I was initially nervous, but only because I was in a big car accident right before orientation, and my face looked like a drive-in movie theater. If you are not the biggest drinker, no sweat, just a beer or two wouldn’t hurt you. As for the dancing, ive found that when im drunk (or at least close) im really more open and not afraid of looking like an idiot. As for sex, I mean not everybody coming in to college has had sex yet, so don’t sweat it, just be smart if/when the time happens :)</p>
<p>I’ll let you in on a secret that’ll make you feel better, you’re not alone. These are not uncommon fears to have. </p>
<p>For partying, try it a few times before you decide either way. I know very few people who I didn’t see at least once curled up in a ball on the ground in the handicap stall. No one is going to judege you, and if they do, you can judge them when it is their turn.</p>
<p>For girls, a lot less people have had sex than you think. Many of the people who I thought lost their virginity actually didn’t. They either say they aren’t virgins because they are insecure or don’t talk when the topic of sex comes up. Even if a girl you are interested in has had sex before, she probably isn’t good at it. How much practice could she have possibly had? So don’t worry about being inadequate or bs like that. If you’re a prude, there are plenty of prudish girls. There will be plenty of girls who have never had a boyfriend before too.</p>
<p>Think about high school for a moment. When you are a freshman didn’t it seem so permanent? Everyone knew everyone else and no one wanted to do anything to tarnish their reputation. There typically aren’t a whole lot of hook-ups or dating outside of a few main groups. Looking back you probably don’t give a **** what anyone thinks now that you are leaving (except maybe your friends). Now you are in the same position except everything is less permanent. After your freshman year you’ll probably see very few of the same people except your close friends. Then after four years, you’ll probably see no one ever again except your close friends. </p>
<p>College will give you stories that you can tell for the rest of your life. So get out there, who cares if you are bad at dancing? No one is going to care or remember how you dance. Live the next 4 years of your life to the fullest. Study hard, party hard, dance hard, and **** hard (or gently).</p>
<p>^^ Very good advice. I didn’t drink or party really, though I was never shy in high school and always hung out with other people and went to dances. Only very few people at my school don’t ever drink, and most of the academically successful people here go out at least once in a while. If you are shy, taking a few shots is a good way to release inhibitions, both socially and in dancing. Just try going to a party or two early on and test your limits (don’t drink like 10 drinks or anything at your first party) and you’ll be fine.</p>
<p>If your future girlfriend disrespects you solely because you’re a virgin, then she’s an ass and you probably shouldn’t be with her anyway.</p>
<p>Secondly, it really depends on the type of people you surround yourself with. Some people do nothing but drink and party for 4+ years, others might be more reserved as yourself. Just worry about finding people who you vibe with and who have similar personalities as you.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t worry about it. You’ll be fine. I promise. Just enjoy yourself, because it will be a very good four years.</p>
<p>Don’t be scared. I’m nervous about the same things and I’m a girl. : )</p>
<p>Two words: </p>
<p>Liquid Courage.</p>
<p>I say you shouldn’t be nervous about college, enjoy your college life and keep good academics ofcourse.</p>