Hi,
I am a parent with a child who is in the middle of his senior year in college at one of the top public universities in the country majoring in computer science. I am writing this because when my son was in highschool he did some stupid things, including getting suspended for smoking pot and suspended for stealing a cell phone. He had pretty good ACT scores but was a B, C student and given the endless hijiinks he got into I really wasnt sure he had the emotional maturity to handle college when he was applying. I also didnt believe, based on what I had read that he would get accepted anywhere because of his suspensions. He was honest and did explain what happened with his suspensions in his application however, I am not sure this was necessary because after the applications were submitted the guidance counselor was informed and was aghast that he had not just lied and declared that he had never been suspended. Anyway, he got accepted to all the schools that he had applied to which were all large public east coast universities . I believe just two of the 8 schools told him that he would have to meet with someone before school started to go over school rules, to reinforce the idea that this kind of behavior would not be tolerated by the university. It was a very stressful time for him because all of his friends were planning on going to college and although they had been guilty of the same behavior, my son took the rap for the kid who actually stole the cell phone, they were applying to schools without any suspensions. I am writing this letter because I want to make the point to both parents and students that the dumb things they/you did in highschool will not mess up their/your life if they/you choose to move on and do the right things in college. Also, you can get accepted into very respectable schools and have a great time and grow into the person you were meant to be. My son quickly realized freshman year that he could not get high every day and that no one was getting high every day the way they were in highschool. He found dorm life and everything college had to offer was so much better than living at home and highschool that he never wanted to screw up and be forced back. I hope this relieves some of the anxiety and sleepless nights for everyone. Kids make mistakes and fortunately some university admissions departments are willing to give them a second chance.
Thank you for sharing this - and your honesty. Although my 16 year old son hasn’t been in trouble, he is very unmotivated and often doesn’t bother to turn in his work. And every time there’s an “interactive notebook” check, my heart sinks…because his solid test grades are about to take a hit. I’m hoping one day he can find his way like your son! And I’m glad to hear that admission offices can look at the whole picture…sometimes on CC, it feels like even being a “perfect” student isn’t enough! But there are many paths - some of them bumpier than others - to a good life!
And what a great reminder that we can never give up on our kids!
Thank you for sharing your story. Good for your son!
I have a friend with a son who had a similar drug-related suspension senior year yet received a merit scholarship and honors program membership at a reputable college… and being away from his high school friends for this past semester has given him a fresh start we all hope will help him!
Would it be possible to connect with you offline. Going through very similar circumstance and would love to email or chat with you. Thanks.