So I’m at university and I’m home for winter break. I don’t like my school and I desperately don’t want to go back. I miss my parents like crazy even when I’m with them. I was looking forward to winter break and being home but the whole break I have just been a crying mess, worrying about going back to school. I here everyone saying that they love school and can’t wait to go back and I couldn’t feel less like that. I don’t know what the problem is. I have a bunch a friends and did well in all my classes last semester. My school is 2 hours from home. I can’t stop crying and I just want this homesickness to end, I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I don’t sleep very well anymore and don’t have the appetite I used to. I just feel so drained and I just want to relax. Please help. I don’t know if I wasn’t ready to move out or I’m just taking longer to adjust or it’s just the wrong school.
What you are experiencing is generally normal. Making the transition to adulthood is not a discrete event but a process. Getting used to college and being on your own is stressful and when you go home for a break you escape that stress and enjoy the comfort of your parent’s home and support. Talk to your parents about your feelings, accept your feelings, be positive about your ability to cope and continue. If that doesn’t work, seek help from your school’s student counseling center.
You aren’t alone, even just looking on this form you’ll see so many posts from people in your situation. Personally, it took me months to really feel secure and eventually happy at college. I also did well in my classes, met my boyfriend right away, and had plenty of friends but it’s hard when you love your parents and being home. I’m 23 now, living on my own, and I STILL get pangs of homesickness. I’m home on break now (I’m a teacher) and it’s soooo nice to be back.So it’s normal, it’s a process, and it just means you have a great family support system.
You made it through your first semester and it’ll only get better and more comfortable from here. You say you are doing well in your classes and have friends, which is great. Sounds like your biggest issue is just adjusting to the fact that this is your life now, not coming home every day after high school and having dinner with your family etc. It’s a huge transition but it honestly gets better with time.
Lots of people take a full year to settle in. It isn’t uncommon for students to feel let down that they don’t love every minute of their college experience. You sound like you have friends and are doing okay academically. I doubt it is the wrong school for you.
Maybe plan to take a few weekends at home (one a month) in addition to breaks next semester. Call your folks more often if you want to. Don’t worry about what anyone else says about their college experience in social media or over break (they are almost surely glossing over some problems). You can do this.
First off, please pull yourself together and look at the big picture. You are young and still have years to stay at home with your family. At some point you will want to move out and be on your own. It’s okay if you aren’t ready for that, and you don’t have to be. 2 hours is such a short distance. Go home every weekend, then every other weekend until you feel more settled at college. You have friends, you are doing well at school. That seems great compared to some kids who are failing and have no friends. Yes, plenty of kids are still struggling to settle in at college.
This feeling of sadness also sounds like you may have depression. Get help now by talking to your parents and making an appointment at the counseling center on campus. Your paretns will want to know how yiu feel, and they might have helpful suggestions. They love you all the time, not just when you are at home. And stop listening to people who are saying they love school and can’t wait to go back. I guarantee that simply isn’t true for MANY students, even if they say it to their friends.
I agree with #4. This sounds like depression and you should try to be treated for it ASAP. I would actually recommend making an appointment with your family doctor, GP, or internist before heading back to campus. (You don’t want to reply on the campus counseling unless you absolutely have to; a lot of times they’re not that good and can’t prescribe medication.)
It’s normal to miss your parents when you go away to college, but if this intense sadness keeps you from actually functioning, then you should see a doctor. It sound like you should maybe be on medication. It’s no big deal, but it can make a BIG difference when it actually comes to enjoying or doing well in college.
And not everyone is excited to go back. Just trust me on this one.
Sigh. Taking D to the airport today to fly back to winter quarter at college. There were so many tears last night – academically she did very well first quarter, but socially she is struggling. She had a very tight group of close friends in high school (they still try to skype once a week) but hasn’t found “her people” yet at college. I try to assure her that it’s still early days, but she feels that people have already made friend groups and she missed the boat. It doesn’t help that she is very picky about friends, and doesn’t have the patience for people she doesn’t like, can’t stand small small talk with strangers, etc. This is a hard send-off.