<p>So I've been in college since this past Sunday and I'm about four hours away from home. I've been doing great so far, enjoying the freedom that I've had and being away from home. But today it finally hit me when I was watching college football. I thought back to all the past falls when I would sit on the couch on Saturday afternoons and just watch and talk about football with my dad and my brother, and then I though about how my family was at the Michigan State football game this afternoon, and how many I've gone to but how I wasn't there with them today. On top of that is school. I didn't do great in high school, I had about a 2.8, and the school I'm at was not my first choice, so I'm hoping to transfer after the first year, although now I'm starting to think maybe I'd rather transfer out after the first semester. Anyway, I've only had classes for three days, and already I've had so much homework and reading to do, and it's really worrying me because if I don't do well here, then my only option to get out of here may be the local community college, which I don't really want to do. I just want to transfer to somewhere closer to home. I feel like all these distractions are going to prevent me from doing well and I'll be forced to either stay here or got to CC. Another thing is that I don't have my support group of friends anymore. In high school, I had so many friends and they were all so close, this past summer we hung out literally every day. Here I've made a decent amount of friends, but they're not really close friends and it's not like it was in high school. I don't know, it just feels like everything is piling up all at once and I feel like I'm all alone. I just miss my family and my dogs so much, and I would be there in a heartbeat if it wasn't so far away. I really can't go home until Thanksgiving because of the distance, although I was going to try to get back for my best friend's birthday in mid-October. I wish going home for a weekend was an option though, I guess I could if I skipped a day of classes, but I'm at a small school and my prof's won't let us miss classes, like at all, and they will notice because there are about 20 kids in each of my classes. I also forgot to mention that for the past few days, the skin on my fingers has started to peel for some weird, unexplainable reason, and I probably will have to go to the doctor next week because the campus nurse thought it could be some type of virus. I realize this is such a long rant with no paragraphs and that I've repeated myself, but I'm just pouring this stuff out right now, can anyone help me out here?</p>
<p>I also forgot to mention that for the past few days, the skin on my fingers has started to peel for some weird, unexplainable reason, and I probably will have to go to the doctor next week because the campus nurse thought it could be some type of virus. I mean, I'm a guy, and I haven't cried in probably five or so years, not even when my parents left. Yet today, I've cried probably five different times. Anyone got some advice for me before I go insane?</p>
<p>You're right, college isn't like high school. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing.</p>
<p>Yes, the work is harder, and there's a lot of it. I too feel overwhelmed, and even the classes that were easy for me in high school are ridiculously difficult here. But just because it's difficult doesn't mean that you have to fail. Don't decide that it's too hard for you to do well without even trying. You'll get used to it, it's only been 3 days.</p>
<p>Sure your friends aren't close right now. Were your high school friends inseparable after only a week? It takes time to build close relationships, so you shouldn't expect to have become best friends with everyone by now.</p>
<p>My best advice to you is that you should stop focusing on how you want to transfer and all, and try to enjoy the school that you're at right now. Sure it wasn't your first choice, but that doesn't mean that it sucks. Take your life one day at a time, and you'll probably have friends and be settled into a routine before you know it.</p>
<p>Edit: Wow the skin thing is weird. Well just get it checked out, your skin could just be dry or abraded or something.</p>
<p>The kids in your H.S. were probably kids you knew most of your life. You can't compare those friends to kids you just met a week ago! It takes time to develop relationships in college. My son is in his junior year and it took till sophomore year for some of his friendships to get to that real close level like those in H.S. and he is still making new friends and developing bonds. You really gotta be patient and give this whole college thing more time. It is a huge adjustment with friends, being away from home, etc. It is still so new for you.</p>
<p>I would also suggest you focus on staying where you are and getting more involved instead of looking for ways to escape. My son goes to school 3 hours away by plane, so no coming home except holidays for him either. He adjusted to it even though there were times he was homesick and missed those family times you describe. Instead, today, he is at a football game with his friends and having his own fun time. </p>
<p>Try and do things you enjoy at school. See if there are any clubs or organizations you might want to get involved in. This time of year they are looking for new members.....maybe the school radio/TV station/newspaper, volunteer positions, environmental groups, etc. Look on the school website for their list of possibilities.</p>
<p>Things will get better....with time and some effort on your part to get involved you should see big changes in the coming months.</p>
<p>Good luck and keep us posted.</p>
<p>Hey Bosox - I'm a mom. What you are feeling is absolutely normal when you make a big change and you are away from the family you love. The good news is that it is going to get better! Here are some ways you can help yourself:</p>
<p>Sign up for a couple of extracurriculars and get out and go to meetings. That is the <em>real</em> way to make friends because you'll find yourself among people who share your interests. There are students orgs for every interest. If there is a student group sponsored by your church's denomination, that is a great place to find encouragement and friends. My dh and I are still friends with folks we met in those groups and it's been 22 years since we left college.</p>
<p>Get Skype and chat with your brother; call home and check in; just talk to them often and you'll feel more a part of what's going on at home. My ds has called <em>lots</em> this week.</p>
<p>Fight depression: get outside in the sunlight, get some exercise, get out of your room, even take fish oil capsules (you can get them at Wal-Mart in the vitamin section - most folks take 4/day - they really help moodiness and can also help exzema which is what your skin problem may be - it is made worse by stress.).</p>
<p>Love the spot you're in: If you jump in and get involved with your classes and extracurriculars, you'll be in a better position to transfer later if you still want to. Plug in seriously where you are at.</p>
<p>Leaving home is <em>hard</em> and I'll bet there are a lot more homesick kids when their dorm doors are closed than you'd ever believe. Get through these weeks, realize it's not forever, and I'll bet before long you'll have two homes - your parent's and college!</p>
<p>Thanks for all the replies guys. I went to an organization fair last week and joined a few clubs, so hopefully when those start up I'll meet new people. I also am supposed to play lacrosse here, it's D3, and it's a new team and the coach was counting on me to be a leader and one of the guys to kind of put the school on the map so to speak. I told him coming in that I was planning on staying a year at the longest because I really was just planning on staying here for a year max, but now I'm not really sure how I'm going to be able to juggle practice once it starts in October and school at the same time. And it would kind of be a waste to do the practices and workouts through December and then end up transferring at the end of the semester. And if I did end up not doing lacrosse, I'd kind of feel like a quitter and like I was letting the team down. I know that's kind of a negative way to think about things and that I should try to stay in the present, but my mind wanders so much and the only thing I can think about is ways to get closer to my family and friends so it's really all I can think about right now. I live in Grand Rapids, MI but I'm at school in Kenosha, WI and my mom said she is going to be in Chicago in a few weeks with my grandpa from Florida, so right now I'm literally counting down the days till they get here. I know I probably sound whiny right now, but I just feel like everything about college has been bad so far except a few things. I guess I should be kind of thankful though, I was about to go to school in Virginia but my parents talked me out of it at the last minute saying I should stay closer to home for my first year. Who would have though that the first time I actually listened to my parents advice they would actually be right. It almost hurts to say they were right about something. =)</p>
<p>Everyone is homesick in a certain degree. It's all matter of overcoming the emotional conflict by making new aquaintances, friends, etc. I hope you enjoy your college life without a severe struggle. If it's four hours away, just push yourself to work hard all along and visit your family for weekends for every 2 week. You will feel less lonely because you know they are always reachable.</p>
<p>What you are going through is very normal; you are both homesick and scared and can't see a way out but give it some time, really. You left a close knit family, good friends and a community you are familiar with to come somewhere far away from everything you know. It is ok to feel the way you feel and it will get better so don't scare yourself further by thinking only the worst. You will be able to do the work and if it becomes difficult there are people there to help you.</p>
<p>Use IM, Skype and text message family and friends regularly...keeping in contact will help you feel that you are still part of your old life but don't ignore your new friends/acquaintances. Many of them will be feeling as you do.</p>
<p>Thanks guys, Skype is seriously the best thing ever right now. I did better homesickness wise today, although I still want to transfer out. I talked to my aunt who is a therapist though, who basically echoed everything you guys have said about how this is completely normal. She also told me it usually takes 30 days minimum to get used to a change this big, so she said that if in about a month I still feel the same way about this school then maybe I should actually consider transferring, but until then I should just try to enjoy myself and make the best of the situation.</p>